Would your DH take his own kids for an hour if you were ill?

[7amandtiredalready]

As it says in the title. Not a gripe with my DH (I don't have a DH) but with my mother.

I'm taking antibiotics for a chest infection and I've also done something horribly painful to my neck, arm and back because I've been coughing so hard. The GP told me to try to have a lie-down for an hour or so at the weekend when I'm not working. I was having a very mild moan to my mother on the phone about not being able to do that because I'm a single mum and don't have a DH/ DP to look after DC for an hour (for the avoidance of doubt, I was NOT angling for her to help out and there was no question of that).

Her response was that, even if I had a DH, I still wouldn't be able to have a break because a man wouldn't / couldn't be expected to look after his own kids for an hour even if his wife was ill. I'm not going nuts - that's weird sexist bullshit, isn't it? I lurk on Mumsnet so I know there are some awful lazy dads out there, but surely the number of men willing to supervise their own children for an hour is > 0, right?

My dp does half the childcare, I can't imagine anything more pathetic than a man who can't look after his own children for a while.

So, do people tell you that your dhs are awesome because they look after their kids by themselves?

I used to work in a very male dominated industry so was often the only woman at various work meetings. Most people knew I had young kids. Many had them themselves. Conversations went usually like that:

• so, who's taking care of the children then?
• probably the same as in your case, the other parent.

• You're not worried how your husband will cope with the baby?
• Are you worried about how your wife will cope?

• isn't it sad to miss all the precious moments?
• I know. So how long did you take off when your children were born?

Ex wouldn’t and didn’t take care of our children when I was ill at least not in any way properly- think unchanged nappies, “forgetting” to feed them, leaving one to have an accident that meant a trip to a+e...

My current partner would and has taken care of my kids when I’ve been ill. He’s also left me to have a lie in plenty of times “because you needed it”.

So yes men co parent generally. Except the utter bastards.

I don't drink often at all but when I do I get a hangover that floors me and I can't get out of bed. DP looks after the kids the whole day because he had to, I can't function 😂 he knows it's inevitable but he doesn't complain.

Yes without question he would. Also if I didn’t have a DH my mum wouldn’t think twice about offering to help out herself, so your mum is all sorts of wrong IMO!

Bizarre attitude. My DP will look after my kids when I'm ill and he's not their dad.

Are you sure she wasn't trying to make you feel better in a round a bout way. If she responded with 'well yes if only you did your life would be so much easier' it wouldn't be very helpful and make you feel worse?

even totally crap Exh did that when really needed!

Mine would take the kids for as long as I needed!
I had a sickness bug Monday, he had to work but got home at 5 and sent me straight to bed and sorted the kids out, I didn’t see them until the next morning!

Yes he has, ive had him pick up food too (he really doesn't cook so we're talking rotisserie chicken!)

I'm separated from my husband and yesterday I was feeling pants. I called him and he came straight over so I could have a break from the rugrats.

That is a ridiculous thing to say! It's not even something I would think about, they are his children too!

Even my ex.. who God bless him was a useless lump, told me one Xmas you look ill, go to bed.
My two were young, talking babies here, so you mum is so wrong
My dad 50 years ago often would take us all too the park for a few hours just to give my mum some quiet time at weekends or evenings...

Dh has coped fine when I have been hospitalised unexpectedly. Dd was pretty good at ordering him about as to what they needed. Their packed lunches were a disaster as he took them to Tesco to choose what they wanted 😂

Yes absolutely. I work 3-11 Saturday and Sunday and DH does everything just fine, probably better than me.