To hate Facebook pregnancy announcements?

[Ambs81]

I don’t know if I’m being old fashioned or just over cautious, but a family member has recently announced pregnancy on fb with a picture of 12 week scan, on the day of 12 week scan.
This was the same day it was announced to all the family, a couple of hours prior.
They said they wanted to be sure everything was ok before telling family, but then quickly told everyone else as well.
I also (and I know this is weird) think it’s strange to share a scan picture in a (pretty) public forum...it is an internal scan or a 12 week foetus, it just seems intrusive.
I have 3 kids and am pregnant with my 4th, this kind of post never occurred to me. I’ve had Two early miscarriages so perhaps am more guarded then most, but I’ve also had friends lose babies in late miscarriages after 12 weeks, or have to make tough decisions about abnormalities later than 12 weeks (a whole other discussion I know).
I guess it feels like my posting a scan it’s saying ‘here’s our baby’, but you still face a lot of worry and risk before you have them in your arms.
I think a picture of a bump, or gender reveal etc...yes fine...but a 12 week scan just feels too early and too private to share on social?

It's none of your business. There's no shame in having a miscarriage and not everyone agrees with hiding their pregnancy for months on end.

Not your uterus not your problem

I don't hate them for the same reason (privacy) but I do think they're a bit boasting and that doesn't sit well with me. You never know if someone is struggling with a pregnancy/TTC.

I think a birth announcement is fine as you may have family all over the world so Facebook is good for that.

I think it’s absolutely fine if that’s how someone wants to announce it. I do feel a bit weird when someone uses it as a profile pic but that’s still none of my business either.

It’s not for me (after 25 years of having interval investigations, I can’t imagine I’d want anyone to be subjected to a picture of my womb) but was thrilled when I saw a friends the other week. It’s quite a clear cut way of doing it - and means that people don’t miss it if they just wrote it as a statement.

I’ve never really shared details of my pregnancies on social media, just not my thing (I mainly post photos of plants or my dog! That’s as personal as social media gets for me) but I know for some people it is a way of sharing their news with many people quickly, so each to their own.
I do find looking at scan photos very difficult and upsetting nowadays despite having a healthy 2 yo DS and being 36 weeks PG currently, I had had early mcs before DS and scan photos never bothered me but since having a late second trimester miscarriage before this pregnancy I find them very upsetting and end up hiding certain people from my news feed, as everything was fine at my 12 week scan and then a few weeks later it was not. I haven’t even been able to look at my own scan photos from this pregnancy, let alone show them to anyone else!
Whatever it personally makes me feel to see a scan photo, I’m sure those who do share theirs on social media have their own reasons for doing so- whether that is that it’s just the easiest way to share their news with friends and family, or they are just one of these people who share every detail of their life... it’s none of my business really.

Each to there own!
Not how I would chose to do it..

I don't get it either, and unless its twins/triplets they all look the same so what's the point!

It’s a baby, the couple are happy. Most people love showing the scan pic as it’s a baby. Let them enjoy a bit of happiness.

Yes stuff can still happen but it can at any point people like me have stillbirths at 35 weeks but you know what I’m happy I celebrated being pregnant becuase I’ll never get to celebrate my baby girls milestones

YABU for thinking a gender reveal is okay while telling people on social media that you're pregnant isn't.

we always took the view that if something bad were to happen, we would prefer to be open and take comfort from our family & friends where offered - so we told the closest family when we knew, at around 6-8 weeks - news filtered out from there, probably did the scan post too

The worst did happen to 1 DC after an early birth, and a traumatic few months - FB was great to update once to share with all family and friends instead of having to send 30-50 texts a day, and the comfort they gave during and after was so desperately needed and appreciated

Yabu to judge why people do what they do.

I have seen people post pics of weird foods they’re craving, or pictures of their bump, as that’s about them I get it, but sharing an scan just seems weird. Too intrusive for me I guess.
After my miscarriages I never felt upset by pics of babies, bumps etc but scan just make me feel uneasy - I always think you should only tell those you’d be happy to untell, and I don’t know how that works when you post to people you went travelling with years ago, or went to primary school with.

sleepalldays Wed 06-Mar-19 15:11:16
I don't hate them for the same reason (privacy) but I do think they're a bit boasting and that doesn't sit well with me. You never know if someone is struggling with a pregnancy/TTC.

I think a birth announcement is fine as you may have family all over the world so Facebook is good for that.

There is nothing wrong with boasting about a pregnancy !!, You cant live your life worrying about things you have no control over (ie if someone is having fertility problems )

Personally I love seeing happy news announced in this way. How people reveal their pregnancy and their use of social media is very much personal choice, I don't think its anyone else's place to judge.

@sleepalldays Boasting?:? Really?? So people shouldn't announce the fact they are pregnant in case it upsets/offends someone who's TTC? Should a cancer survivor not post about being in remission in case it offends someone who's just lost a relative? Should someone not shout about their new dream job in case it upsets someone who's just been made redundant? Christ, what a bloody world we live in now.

Just keep sharing the joy, people

I haven’t done it but it doesn’t bother me when other people do, despite having had several miscarriages. They all look like potatoes at that stage but for a lot of people it’s their scan photo that makes it feel real so it’s something precious they want to share. My scan photos are very special to me but they’re private and it’s my uterus and our baby so they’re not for public consumption.

It’s true that bad things can happen at any time and it’s bollocks that it’s somehow tempting fate to tell people you’re pregnant. The only thing, as you say, is that you’re better off only telling people good news if you’d be equally okay sharing bad news with them. I don’t personally feel that way about Facebook so have kept this pregnancy under wraps.

I didn’t post any pregnancy announcement on social media. I’m quite a private person anyway so it’s not my style but I also remember how shit I felt while ttc unsuccessfully for years seeing scan after scan after fucking scan every time I went online, and never wanted to be the cause of that feeling for anyone else. Also all 12 week scans look like supermarket prawns so what’s the point?

I can't say it bothers me but it's not my cup of tea either. I never announced either of my pregnancies on there, neither did DP.

My SIL put a photo of her positive pregnancy test though which I just found odd as I just thought 'ewww, that's covered in your pee'

"After my miscarriages I never felt upset by pics of babies, bumps etc but scan just make me feel uneasy"

You could say this about any FB photos though. The person posting happy photos with their kids could make those who have lost children uneasy. Photos with their parents could make those who have lost parents uneasy.

Personally I love seeing other people's happy news and photos on FB

YANBU for not being a fan but if others are happy to do so then I say let them, it’s a personal preference and I know some people who have done it after MCs very early on and they’re sharing their excitement. Each to her own and all that!

I wouldn't post scan photos because I found them massively upsetting after my own miscarriage, but I wouldn't think less of anyone who did.

I think people are so invested in social media that they cant help them self they need reassurance of strangers....

I get terrible sickness in pregnancy (before 12 weeks) so I either 'announce' early have to find excuses for backing out of all social events and work, being in hospital, or throwing up over people when I see them. We don't all get the 'conceal the pregnancy til it's further along' option. And frankly, I need the support early on.

all 12 week scans look like supermarket prawns so what’s the point?

The point is that it's a single picture that conveys the message 'Im pregnant', I imagine. I doubt anyone thinks their scan pic is interesting in and of itself.

I hate fcebook pregnancy announcements. I find them a bit cringey to be honest.

Everyone close enough to me to be bothered that I was pregnant was told in person.

I never shared scan photos but did announce on FB the happy news once family was told.

Each to their own

You are free to prefer a very private pregnancy, and that's fine.

They are free to be so excited they want to share with the world, and that's fine too.

Not everybody has strangers as friends on their social media for a start, so it's a perfectly acceptable way to announce a pregnancy.
People are happy, they are your friends or family members, can't you just be happy for them?

I hate them and they are a massive trigger for me after losing three of my babies. I realise this is my own issue, rather than anyone elses.

Also, as you say, 12 weeks doesn't mean everything is well.

I use the Chrome extension called FB Purity (its free but you can donate too). You can whitelist pictures and words/phrases. I love it!
I just wish I could use it in real life as pregnancies and babies are everywhere except right where I'm sitting.
(yes I know I am horrible and bitter)