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Original poster

To hate Facebook pregnancy announcements?

118 replies

Ambs81 · 06/03/2019 15:02

I don’t know if I’m being old fashioned or just over cautious, but a family member has recently announced pregnancy on fb with a picture of 12 week scan, on the day of 12 week scan.
This was the same day it was announced to all the family, a couple of hours prior.
They said they wanted to be sure everything was ok before telling family, but then quickly told everyone else as well.
I also (and I know this is weird) think it’s strange to share a scan picture in a (pretty) public forum...it is an internal scan or a 12 week foetus, it just seems intrusive.
I have 3 kids and am pregnant with my 4th, this kind of post never occurred to me. I’ve had Two early miscarriages so perhaps am more guarded then most, but I’ve also had friends lose babies in late miscarriages after 12 weeks, or have to make tough decisions about abnormalities later than 12 weeks (a whole other discussion I know).
I guess it feels like my posting a scan it’s saying ‘here’s our baby’, but you still face a lot of worry and risk before you have them in your arms.
I think a picture of a bump, or gender reveal etc...yes fine...but a 12 week scan just feels too early and too private to share on social?

OP posts:
SausageMashandOnionGravy · 07/03/2019 10:22

If you don’t want to make your pregnancy public knowledge just don’t share on Facebook. I don’t mind seeing a scan pic on Facebook, if that’s how people want to announce it that’s up to them. Some people don’t even share they’re pregnant on Facebook, the first you know about them being pregnant is a pic of a newborn. It’s completely up to the people involved either way. It’s happy news and lots of people like to share the news, I shared my pregnancies on Facebook as soon as we had the 12 week scan.

Frecklesonmyarm · 07/03/2019 10:22

I also think it’s strange to tell family the same day you tell the (Facebook) world.

But you would tell everyone you know the gender at once? At a reveal party? You wouldn't tell your parents first? You would let them know at the same time as friends? Why is that different?

I’d also think she might be more respectful of the fragility of pregnancy.

With all due respect, this is because you have sadly lost your babies. Everyone who is pregnant has those slight worries, but that shouldn't stop her doing what she wants with her own scan photos. I get that it may make you feel a certain way. But that's because of your experience. You find a photo of a baby grow, not too bad. But not long after I lost my first baby, that would have got punched me more than a scan picture.

Everything everyone posts on Facebook, could make someone feel a bit sad, triggered, upset.

A scan might be private to you, because of your experience. Just if you cant get that for other people it's not, even if they have had that experience, then it's your issue.

Frecklesonmyarm · 07/03/2019 10:25

but posted a pic of your new contract and pay rise isn’t fine- because that’s private.

But if someone wanted to that, that's up to them. I dont like people knowing my wage etc. I would think they were showing off a bit if they posted their contract and payrise. But then taking and posting a photo of drinking a glass of bubbly to celebrate, is showing off as well.

I wouldn't even post that to announce my new job on Facebook. I wouldn't put anything about work on there anyway. Even a vague promotion announcement.

You dont get to decide what's private for other people. That's not your right or your business

Yerroblemom1923 · 07/03/2019 10:49

We put our 12 wk scan on as hadn't told anyone prior and knew risks were reduced after 12 weeks....Didn't tell anyone prior ad know the facts and didnt want to hurt my parents etc if pregnancy hadn't worked out.

I appteciate some people who have suffered losses may be affected but I wanted to share our happy news

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 07/03/2019 10:56

You think a gender reveal is ok but not a photo of a 12 week scan? Odd.

Yerroblemom1923 · 07/03/2019 11:11

I've no time for gender reveals....all anyone wants is a healthy baby! We didnt find out....but I wanted a girl. All worked out in the end Smile

Unfinishedkitchen · 07/03/2019 11:14

I find them a bit cringey and self congratulatatory. Personally I don’t want my whole life over the internet. If I want to tell a lot of people something, I create a WhatsApp group, that way Janice who I like but used to work with 2 jobs ago doesn’t have to be involved. However, each to their own.

Biancadelrioisback · 07/03/2019 11:22

I was happy and proud that I was pregnant. I wanted to share our news and my scan.
I've also shared a picture of my x-ray when I shattered my leg. I thought it was a good picture!

Catren · 07/03/2019 11:38

I'm also not a fan. I didn't do it with my first pregnancy as i had people around me dealing with infertility. Then after years of secondary infertility I'm even more funny about it. Each to their own, I wouldn't and have done it and tend to scroll past those who do, silently hoping everything goes well for them.

Spikeyball · 07/03/2019 11:48

I wouldn't do it but I have no issues with others doing it.
Pregnancy losses can happen at any time ( 34 weeks in my case) so there is no right time to tell people unless you are waiting till after the birth.

EstrellaDamn · 07/03/2019 11:51

So by your logic you should keep the pregnancy a secret until there is a live baby in your arms?

Brilliant.

This is about the fifth thread I've seen on here just today with women judging other women simply for not doing as they would do. It's so fucking boring. Just give it a rest!

Crunchycrunchycrunchy · 07/03/2019 11:54

I wouldn't share scan photos on social media because I know it's hard to see what when you are TTC.

We put something on social media about 3 weeks after family were told, so 15 weeks ish, but that is because some family members were insisting it was still a secret if we didn't. Even though we told them it wasn't and that they could tell who they pleased.

Thisisnotadrill · 07/03/2019 11:57

Gender reveals on social media or anywhere are the most self absorbed thing in the world bar baby showers.

Everything that is wrong in the world is bloody bragging and displaying some kind of “celebrity” lifestyle on social media.

No one really cares about your life THAT MUCH.

I don’t mind a FB pregnancy announcement though - that’s just happy news. Smile

AlliKaneErikson · 07/03/2019 12:48

After many years of infertility, followed by a number of miscarriages after fertility treatment, I was really excited to share my healthy 12 week scan after IVF treatment worked. Most of my friends knew about my problems over the past few years and I wanted to tell everyone- I don’t see anything wrong with that.

Lweji · 07/03/2019 17:07

Surely, only fairly grown up people can reveal their gender. ;)

Pre-birth we'll have to stick with sex only.

Pregnant women have the option of sending individual messages to all friends and acquaintances, surprise anyone they meet, put a generic announcement on a public medium like FB. Meh.
It's not the front page of the DM.

And all 12 week scan pictures look very similar. It's a fetus.

mimibunz · 07/03/2019 17:09

More examples of women being judged for how they live their lives.

whitetoblerone · 07/03/2019 17:20

I think people have the right to do what they want in terms of announcing a pregnancy. I know someone who just announced their 4 week pregnancy(yep, they're 4 weeks pregnant!) on FB and I think that's a little early!!

I'm not against it but it isn't for me to announce on social media.

Frecklesonmyarm · 07/03/2019 18:20

I don’t know; it just leaves me with an uneasy feeling, post pics of your baby after it’s born, not before.

But I am a naturally very risk averse and anxious soul when it comes to things like that and I do think each to their own.

Do you think nothing, sadly, happens to babies once they are born?

Also posting on Facebook doesnt increase the risk.

I do understand people not doing it, I dont. But I dont get the 'oh but what if something bad happens?' In that case you should post any photos of your kids or family ever, what if something bad happens.

I also dont get people saying posting pictures of scans is hard for people who have suffered losses or TTC. Posting photos of a baby or older children could be equally hard

ForalltheSaints · 07/03/2019 18:31

I think it is wrong, given that I am not sure about Facebook and privacy.

Lweji · 07/03/2019 19:30

I agree with the privacy concerns. After all, someone could recognise the child later on from the scan photo and follow them home, etc. Wink

Is there a thing called fetalphilia?

Prequelle · 07/03/2019 19:32

How is a scan picture too intrusive? I don't get it. It's basically a blob. I think you're overthinking this.

PCohle · 07/03/2019 19:35

I don't understand why people take it upon themselves to police other women's sense of privacy or reaction to a pregnancy loss.

Surely the best person to judge whether she views a scan photo as private or whether she would want to share news of a loss is the woman in question?

Wowzel · 07/03/2019 19:37

I love seeing announcements with scan photos. I always think it is exciting.

Gender reveals are ridiculous

Trills · 07/03/2019 19:41

Telling acquaintances that you are pregnant seems to me to be exactly what Facebook is for.

BanginChoons · 07/03/2019 19:43

I am glad that people announce their pregnancies. As a mother of a baby who was stillborn, and also a trained befriender for grieving parents, I have seen the effects when people don't talk about their losses, sometimes for many years.

Often people dont know what to say to us when our baby dies. People we expect to be supportive may avoid us. Sharing a pregnancy isn't going to prevent a loss occurring, but if a loss occurs, having shared that pregnancy may generate support from the unlikeliest of places.