To hate Facebook pregnancy announcements?

[Ambs81]

I don’t know if I’m being old fashioned or just over cautious, but a family member has recently announced pregnancy on fb with a picture of 12 week scan, on the day of 12 week scan.
This was the same day it was announced to all the family, a couple of hours prior.
They said they wanted to be sure everything was ok before telling family, but then quickly told everyone else as well.
I also (and I know this is weird) think it’s strange to share a scan picture in a (pretty) public forum...it is an internal scan or a 12 week foetus, it just seems intrusive.
I have 3 kids and am pregnant with my 4th, this kind of post never occurred to me. I’ve had Two early miscarriages so perhaps am more guarded then most, but I’ve also had friends lose babies in late miscarriages after 12 weeks, or have to make tough decisions about abnormalities later than 12 weeks (a whole other discussion I know).
I guess it feels like my posting a scan it’s saying ‘here’s our baby’, but you still face a lot of worry and risk before you have them in your arms.
I think a picture of a bump, or gender reveal etc...yes fine...but a 12 week scan just feels too early and too private to share on social?

YABU for thinking a gender reveal is okay while telling people on social media that you're pregnant isn't.

^^this

I hate when people don’t announce a pregnancy then suddenly appear in photos with an obvious baby bump as it means I then spend ages scrolling back through their posts in case there was an announcement and I missed it and didn’t congratulate them!

God. When I gave birth I didn't realise some people didn't know.

Because I never put anything on Facebook. However, how can anyone be slightly bothered that someone else put something on them it's their business they want to share it.

Not your business. Anything people post could be a trigger for someone. You wod have to post nothing at all. Let them be happy and do what they want with their own Facebook.

Cant believe you are ok with this but dont mind a gender reveal

Yabu.
How other people announce their pregnancy is of no concern to you, doesn’t affect you and is none of your business!
You are however being judgemental.
It’s not your pregnancy, so don’t give it a second thought.

YABU

Just hide the post

I know what you mean OP. I wouldn’t post them because I just find the idea of posting a picture of the inside of my uterus on social media a bit odd.

I agree OP. I've got 3 DC and never felt the need to announce over FB or show scan photos, but I can see why others would want to share their news!

Yes I think they are silly.
Once family know why do people want to see scan pics like fs no one cares

YABU & those that have friends and family close by to you for you to share your events with in person should think themselves VERY VERY lucky. Most of my own family aren’t bothered and don’t live close by. I have no close friends nearby either - I have moved around a lot and so have friends far and wide and these are people I share my life with - otherwise I’d literally be by myself with my children and husband.

We'd told most people in person (family slightly earlier) and then my MIL announced she was going to be a grandma on the book of faces. So DH and I did a big announcement ourselves (with actual context and scan pic).

DH had words... But she still announced the birth of our son (less than an hour after he was born, including full name) on the book of faces before us. She also used the only pic of my DH and son that didn't include me....

The only time I think a scan is an invasion is when people plaster photos of their baby's bits to get opinions on the sex of the baby. Ick. But I see that mostly on MN and NM not FB.

I love seeing them, it's happy and exciting news. There's enough doom and gloom in the world. Spread the joy.

Well it's the thing now isn't it . Mine all born before fb so never done .
I think as long as you tell nearest and dearest before announcing on fb then no big deal . It's entirely up to you .
I think it's quite nice , much prefer it than negative posts ,

Abseloutley none of your business. If you dont like it delete them, its not your page or your pregnancy so they dont have to follow your rules. People are allowed to not have the same opinion as you

I was TTC for 6 years with my ex and it never happened and in that time friends/family had 1/2 children. Each scan picture was like a slap in the face but I was happy for them. While wishing I could do the same.

When I fell pregnant to DP when not even trying I was over the moon and could finally put my scan pic on. Which I did on the bus on the way home from the scan.

I knew there might be people on my fb with their own troubles etc but about 80% of my fb have children or were pregnant etc at the time I put it on.

I had many comments of congratulations especially as so many of them knew my struggles with the ex and knew how much I wanted it.

I don't mind scan photos. I do mind birth photos (from shall I say the business end). That person got removed from my friends list as I decided it was a bad omen.

Along those lines, what does annoy me is the "look, my child has lost a tooth!" pics. Don't think the tooth fairy is on FB...

Not your business, and it’s not something unusual anyway.

I was happy to “untell” anyone and everyone. Including people who didn’t know to begin with - e.g. people at work who asked if I’d had holiday, after sick leave for my miscarriage. I wasn’t ashamed that I’d lost a pregnancy at 12 weeks, nor did I think it especially private. I’d have hated such an emotionally massive thing that had happened to me, to be taboo in some way.

This is less the fact that I too have experienced miscarriages (5 of them); probably more that it's a bit 'look at me' and I find some other people's way of communicating their happy news just isn't for me. Which isn't necessarily a criticism, just a case of different strokes for different folks.

Scan pictures, birth announcements, 'announcements' of any kind are not for me. I figure that anyone who really needs to know, knows. It's not as if having a child about the place and a new family life isn't going to infiltrate quickly once the time comes. And I don't think I'm unsociable, but I'd have recoiled in horror from the idea of a hen night or a baby-shower. As for 'gender-reveal' - just no. The 20-week scan is an anomaly scan; a serious business not a frivolous sideshow. After all those losses the news that no anomalies had been detected made me so weak and emotional with relief it didn't even occur to me to ask about the sex.

Perhaps it's a case of 'too much knowledge' that makes me instinctively back away from this stuff. I don't know, TBH.

I don't post stuff like that myself but there was actually a bit of a backlash when I posted a couple of photos of my newborn a few days after his birth. A few comments along the lines of "you kept that quiet!" and "why all the secrecy?" and "oh my god, I didn't even know you were pregnant!"
So I think some people must expect to see pregnancy announcements, gender reveals, 12 and 20 week scan photos, weekly 'my baby is the size of a pomegranate' posts etc.
I think the easiest way to cope with Facebook is just to accept that everyone will use it in the way they find most relevant to their own lives, and therefore there is no point getting hung up on what you feel should be the etiquette or conventions. That's what the unfollow button is for.

I don't get it either but then again I have no idea why anyone wants to live out their life on Facebook. Glad I got rid of it!

I get you @Ambs81

I don’t know; it just leaves me with an uneasy feeling, post pics of your baby after it’s born, not before.

But I am a naturally very risk averse and anxious soul when it comes to things like that and I do think each to their own.

YANBU for voicing your thoughts on a public forum

YANBU for it maybe giving you the willies

YABU if it’s a “how chavvy, how cringe” thing though.

I've never done it.

A girl I went to school with documented her pregnancy on Facebook with scan pics, gender announcements and so on.

She then lost her baby at 40 weeks and had to deal with people on Facebook asking 'is baby here yet' and so on.

After thst, I'd never do it.

When it’s just a random person it wouldn’t bother me- I think as it’s a family member (my brother’s girlfriend) it feels a bit closer to home and has made me reflect on it a bit more.
In the last 12 months we’ve had 2 miscarriages - one early, one late at 18 weeks so While yes that means perhaps she wants to celebrate her pregnancy I’d also think she might be more respectful of the fragility of pregnancy.
I also think it’s strange to tell family the same day you tell the (Facebook) world.
I’ve always told family first and then shared with friends generally as and when I saw them, or for friends further a field over the phone or email when they’d get in touch.
For people saying sharing the scan doesn’t make a difference, I think it does. I’ve had friends share a baby grow pic or something and say ‘coming soon’ - that IMO isn’t as overshadong as showing your scan pic.
It’s like sharing a picture of you drinking a glass of fizz to celebrate a promotion - that’s fine, but posted a pic of your new contract and pay rise isn’t fine- because that’s private.
Weird example but how I make sense of it!

I also think it’s strange to tell family the same day you tell the (Facebook) world.
I’ve always told family first and then shared with friends generally as and when I saw them, or for friends further a field over the phone or email when they’d get in touch.
For people saying sharing the scan doesn’t make a difference, I think it does

That's your choice how you choose to tell people. We're all different, they clearly don't think sharing a scan picture is a big deal and as it is their pregnancy it's up to them. We didn't announce our second pregnancy to family until 20 weeks, we didn't want the fuss as I had awful HG, but completely accept other people think that's bonkers.

I don't dislike them. I think everyone has their own way of doing things. However I had a baby 6 months ago, didn't announce the pregnancy or the birth on Facebook and haven't posted any pictures of her (okay, apart from one recently!) And the amount of people who have said they didn't realise as we didn't post it on Facebook is quite sad in my eyes.
It's the whole, not on fb, didn't happen thing.

Loads of people do now - my cousin just did. I never did, I am extremely private and don't like that stuff personally but each to their own. It doesn't bother me if others do, just not for me.