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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask for a reasonable explanation

69 replies

notsosunnyhols · 05/03/2019 09:12

Why would dh need to contact his female boss while on a family holiday then delete all the messages (but forget to delete the actual conversation)? I wasn't snooping - I went to whatsapp a photo to myself

OP posts:
Bubblegumgal · 05/03/2019 09:33

Why would he delete messages? Because he’s hiding something. What he’s hiding though 🤷‍♀️ Go with your gut

SerenDippitty · 05/03/2019 10:03

Could he have been contacting her about an antra sensitive disciplinary matter involvimg another memberof staff? And didn’t want the conversation as a record on his phone?

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 05/03/2019 10:34

He deleted all the messages but not the actual conversation? I don’t understand OP?

What did you see?

mamato3lads · 05/03/2019 10:42

Hmmm. I don't like anything being deleted, it translates as Something To Hide.

Why did he delete them, what was the explanation?

Damntheman · 05/03/2019 11:52

You can delete single messages on whatsapp, but your phone will still have that contact high on the list of recent conversations if you don't delete the 'conversation' as well.

I also don't like deleting things, it's weird and smacks of hiding things. Unless it's something very sensitive to do with work then I'd be raising eyebrows. Hope he's just being weird OP!

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 05/03/2019 12:16

If it’s an ultra sensitive disciplinary issue then he shouldn’t be using he personal phone.

Have you recently reminded him about time off he needed to book? Because the only ‘innocent’ reason I can think of is that you’d said something and he’d realised he’d forgotten and texted the boss who has said no. He deleted it because when it comes down to it he can’t show the messages because the date will give him away.

(Very specific situation I know but I’ve known it to happen!)

Original poster
notsosunnyhols · 05/03/2019 14:42

Nope no time off needed and we are in the same profession so no disciplinary secrets either

OP posts:
Seekingwellness · 05/03/2019 14:49

Confidential client info?
Booking time off for you both for a surprise?

FairyMoppings · 05/03/2019 14:50

What was the conversation about?

Tinkety · 05/03/2019 15:10

Oh I’ve done this!

I was on holiday & my manager needed some login & password information so I sent them & then deleted the WhatsApp messages as per her instructions.

I thought it was normal to delete any sensitive work information on your phone in case you lose it etc.

JonSlow · 05/03/2019 15:21

I will often delete messages on WhatsApp to my boss - especially if they are somewhat bitchy!!

edwinbear · 05/03/2019 15:25

If on holiday and it's work related I'd delete it as soon as I'd dealt with whatever needed dealing with, so there wasn't work related issues staring me in the face, reminding me of work every time I checked my phone!

Limensoda · 05/03/2019 15:34

Ask him. He knows, we don't.
I don't understand how someone can be married but can't ask their spouse 'why'

Wedgiecar58 · 05/03/2019 15:42

You know there is something bloody dodgy about this!!!!

My guess is that is was either sending flirty messages (is she attractive?) or he was slagging you/the holiday off eg "Having a crap time, wife hasn't stopped moaning, would rather be in the office!" kinda thing.

What explanation has he given? Sorry to say this but I would assume the worst in this instance.

Knitclubchatter · 05/03/2019 15:54

At the end of the day I delete all my what’s app and messenger messages.
Nothing dodgy here, start with a clean slate each day.
Regularly delete e-mails too

Original poster
notsosunnyhols · 05/03/2019 15:57

@Limensoda I'm not going to ask him in case it does turn out to be something - don't want him to know i know anything. He does travel with her and she's very attractive/fit but I can't picture
A) her being interested in him
B) him actually doing anything

OP posts:
Original poster
notsosunnyhols · 05/03/2019 16:01

Actually maybe I can picture her being insterested in him - I think she has been for a while

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 05/03/2019 16:11

How were all the messages deleted but the conversation still there?

Original poster
notsosunnyhols · 05/03/2019 16:32

@GreatDuckCookery her name appeared in the list of recent conversations but when I clicked in it (yes i was curious at that point) there were no messages. The conversations with his mates appeared either side with times on them

OP posts:
Skittlesss · 05/03/2019 16:37

Just ask him and see what you think based on his reaction??

Is she your boss also? You say you work in the same profession, is it normal to text your boss?

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 05/03/2019 16:38

Ah I get you. What will you do?

flumpybear · 05/03/2019 16:46

Ask him

Birdsgottafly · 05/03/2019 16:46

So there is no way that it could be anything to do with work, that they want to keep private?

Original poster
notsosunnyhols · 05/03/2019 16:48

I don't work with him but I do the same job for the same company about 20 miles away. I don't text my boss and don't have a need to.

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 05/03/2019 16:50

What do you think it could be?

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