To ask why people try to talk you out of BF?

[jcmayj]

Since finding out I was pregnant with DS I've said I want to try breastfeeding and will try to persevere at it, as I really want to do it.

I'm more than happy to move onto FF'ing if it doesn't work out and am happy to do whatever as long as he is being fed.

I've expressed my wishes to DM, MIL and other friends and family and all of them have tried to talk me out of it!

Comments such as "you won't like it", "it's difficult", "it's easier to formula feed him" have made me feel really disheartened.

AIBU for feeling like this?

I found breastfeeding a doddle but would never comment on what other parents decide to do. I loved how easy it was, some mothers feel incredibly tied to the baby. Try and go into it with an open mind and if you want or need to change to formula be kind to yourself because all that matters is the health of you and your baby in this situation.

Livingoncake That’s so insightful of you - I certainly think it’s true, that women who wanted to bf and feel that they somehow ‘failed’ do tend to want others to ff. Even if it was 30, 40, 50 years ago.

Personally I don't think formula is easier, BFing has magical powers - it isn't just food, it settles upset babies, it helps if they're ill or in pain, and it sends them to sleep. I found it relatively easy although I still had a few bumps in the road, and I did get frustrated with the length of time it took in the early days. However I also had family members make stupid comments about it. I just ignored them, they were welcome to feed their babies however they wanted to, and I'll feed mine however I want to.

It’s funny people talking about being judged for ff as they live in a leafy, middle class area and everyone else bf. It’s the opposite where I am - working class suburbs and everyone else ff and I am the odd one out! Especially for still going 16 months later!

Bfing seems to be one of the only things that people expect will fail. Everyone told me to expect it to not work and to buy a perfect prep just in case. I know they’re well meaning and it’s lovely to know I wouldn’t have been judged if I’d switched to formula... but I think this general attitude can put some women off even trying which is a shame.

I think baby feeding is almost tribal these days and I'd hate to be a breastfeeder in a FF tribe or a formula feeder in a BF tribe.

If you can breast feed and are happy doing it, then don't listen to anyone else and go ahead.

People like to give their opinions based on what they have done. So you might find all the people making you feel down about breastfeeding are the ones who struggled.

It doesn't mean you will struggle though. Equally, if you do, don't feel guilty for formula feeding either.

The most important thing is that the baby is fed and the mother is happy.

I really recommend 'What to expect when you're breastfeeding and what if you can't'. By Claire Byam Cook. Fantastic book that trouble shoots almost every issue you might have.

I was pressured the opposite way.
If there was a next time I’d do whatever I wanted and sod everyone else