To think being slim should be normal for most people.

[DevilishDebbie]

By slim i mean sizes 8 to 12.

Obviously you get a minority who are not in this range naturally but for 80% of people this size should be natural, say they eat a reasonable diet of between 2000-3000 calories.

Im so sick of people at work making out i am abnormally thin for being a size 10. I watch what I eat but dont deprive myself. The same people making me out to be lucky to be slim eat fried chicken or pizza for lunch and seem to be able to demolish a whole pack of biscuits at 3 o clock.

Aibu to think that the normal human man/woman should be a size 8-12 and that to attain or maintain this does not require super human discipline or strength.

Im a size 8 and get regularly told im horrendously skinny and need to eat more. Often from strangers which is lovely. I get what you are trying to say. You may have just not gone about it in the best way.

Buffalo

I wish your DD hadn't gone through this awful trauma.
However, encouraging children to be healthy IS important.
Healthy is healthy. Moderation, portion sizing, variation, positive body image and learning to cook and prepare food so as not to be stuck on grab and go cycle.

Dorset is completely right.

Eating when hungry is important. Eating enough. Not worrying what other people think about eating. Dd's dgd once asked her if she was really going to eat another scoop of ice cream. It hurt her.

People need to mind their own damn business. A life spent dieting to be socially acceptable is no life at all. At worst you have cases like my daughter. But I guess thats ok, at least noone is complaining she is fat.

"I say all of you scale obsessed nhs defenders take your judgemental attitude and stick it. It KILLS."

So does obesity, in much larger numbers than anorexia. I am genuinely sorry to hear what you and your daughter are going through, that is hideous, but to say encouraging healthy eating is dangerous is unreasonable, somewhere the message has gotten skewed in your daughter's case and I truly hope she recovers, but that doesn't mean healthy eating in itself is dangerous.

I dont know if my daughter will survive other peoples judgement of her previous fatness, and pushing portion control and healthy fucking options.

One case like dds is not worth the judgemental anti body positivity message. She is a human being not collateral damage.

@BuffaloSpringfield your daughter isn't eating healthy though, she's gone from one type of eating disorder to another by the sounds of it, encouraging healthy eating towards food isn't about being scale obsessed, the opposite in fact. It isn't the message of healthy eating that causes anorexia, fat shaming and body dysmorphia absolutely but portion control is a society wide problem that needs addressing.

Restricting (as in, being a sensible person with a sense of moderation and not hoovering up all the food within reach) is disordered yo.

• @BuffaloSpringfield your daughter isn't eating healthy though, she's gone from one type of eating disorder to another by the sounds of it, encouraging healthy eating towards food isn't about being scale obsessed, the opposite in fact. It isn't the message of healthy eating that causes anorexia, fat shaming and body dysmorphia absolutely but portion control is a society wide problem that needs addressing.**

This is so true. You say your daughter was 'fat' before. So she has never had a healthy attitude to food.

coffee

That is not what I mean by restricting. I am talking about children here btw. The problem comes when parents forbid their DC to eat certain food, or use food as rewards or "treats" OR on the other end of the scale when parents ONLY offer their DC unhealthy foods.

IMO what needs to happen is parents offering a range of foods to their dc - yes, including the "bad" stuff. That way what ends up happening is they don't see foods in "good" and "bad" camps - it's all just food. That's why my DS doesn't gobble up piles and piles of crisps and chocolate and chicken nuggets despite the fact I have never stopped him having them. To him they are just food, offered alongside a range of other foods.

I do not talk about food - any food - in a negative way in front of him. Such talk is what lead to my own disordered eating, which as I say I have only just overcome. Still nothing else measures up really to the joy I get from delicious food.

I agree, however, that portion control IS a society wide problem which needs addressing, but parents can do that simply by doling out appropriately sized portions in the first place. It doesn't need to be told to children, just lead by example.

ShePut, Buffalo’s daughter is very sick, I don’t think directing that particular comment is very helpful - and I think it is very hurtful for a worried mum. She has clearly stated that her daughter had a steroid issue before. That has nothing to do with attitude.

Buffalo, I hope your daughter gets better. I was very ill with an ED when I was young (NC for this) and I am almost completely well - better than many “normal” people. To me, even dieting shows a disturbed relationship with food. I got better through intensive therapy breaking the links food - emotions and looks - self image. However, this was not possible until I had reached a certain weight as brain wasn’t responsive to therapy before. I know several girls who used to be very ill who now seems ok as well. PM me if you like.

Generally I think that the problem is exactly the link between food and emotion that often is the problem. And an excessive focus on looks. It is equally bad to eat a whole packet of cookies when upset as it is to skip dinner. I want to scream at parents giving their children chocolate when they are crying instead of massive cuddles, that is an awful practice, ED conditioning. I also want to scream at parents telling their children how beautiful they are or making any weight comments in front of them. I firmly believe that general healthly eating, exercise, occasional treats and ice-cream in the sunshine is the way to go. Possibly with occasional mentions that too many treats will make you sick, have one today and one tomorrow. And to give comments like “of course you are pretty, but the best thing is how wonderful you are, hard you try, kind you are etc.)

And on looks - one mum (constantly on a diet) told me that her (very skinny) 9 year DD didn’t want to wear certain clothes as they made her look fat AND thought this was normal. It made me feel physically sick!!

I agree with you but the people who are bigger won't like it (and women particularly get very sensitive about weight).

It might not necessarily be a fault of eating a pack of biscuits in one go, but simply being born in the times when processed food was already invented. And processed food has all sorts of fattening shit which bings on puberty earlier, plus added hormones in meat and what they do to human growth etc. So it is generational thing for us to be fatter. Think of the 50s glamour lasses, no one was fat, tits were cup B, not GGGGG. This is all because of change in food, so the bigger people of today can't do much retrospectively and this makes an idea of "normal size 8-12" rather upsetting to them. A lot can exersize till their brains fall out of their arses but still gain a kg just after ... what? eating a bun?

I think metabolism of the folks today is fucked up. I'm not British, the only processed food in my childhood were sausages which I refused to eat, so I was brought up on home-cooked meals with a lot of vegetables and this is my main explanation to myself why I'm a size 8. Well, I don't eat pizzas and fry ups every day too, so that helps a bit ;)

Vulpine I didn’t say that.

BMI on its own is flawed. It doesn’t take any account of where fat is located and many experts now think it shouldn’t be used on an individual basis. A recent study concluded that many people with a BMI of over 25 were perfectly healthy whilst 30% of people with a normal BMI were not healthy based on their other health data.

I'm not British, the only processed food in my childhood were sausages which I refused to eat, so I was brought up on home-cooked meals with a lot of vegetables and this is my main explanation to myself why I'm a size 8

I was brought up the exact same way and yet I have spent most of my adult life overweight, so I really don't think you can blame processed foods.

imissgmichael
A recent study concluded that many people with a BMI of over 25 were perfectly healthy whilst 30% of people with a normal BMI were not healthy based on their other health data.
Link please.

Actually I came across similar info a few times, slightly different, where it was quoted BMI of 25-27 was associated with the best health outcomes and longevity, I think it was quoted as a result of this study (link below)
Esp making sense in view of 27 not being considered overweight until they changed the parameters.
www.sciencealert.com/the-healthiest-weight-might-actually-be-overweight-massive-study-finds

"Well, I don't eat pizzas and fry ups every day too, so that helps a bit ;)"

I'm not a size 8, but I don't intentionally starve myself or make my self sick after eating every day, so that helps a bit. ;)

See how easily your snidey comments can be turned around?

Mortality years of healthy life
I'll keep my BMI low enough that I can stay active and healthy.

One third of my body is fat at a BMI of 22.5
that is quite high enough for me

I was brought up the exact same way and yet I have spent most of my adult life overweight, so I really don't think you can blame processed foods.

I used to think that being slim was simply down to a good diet and exercise, but then I married DH and realised the importance of body type. Our family of four eats roughly the same food and we're completely different weights/shapes:

Me: always been size 8, max. 10, size 36B bra.
DS: tall and skinny, similar body type to me.
DH: tall but chunky, has a belly. V. physically strong. He's always been well-covered, even when he was training daily for a race he wasn't skinny and has always been on the upper end of his Bmi.
DD: tall, curvy, size 36D bra (she's 13). Athletic and always on a sports team, v. strong like DH.

So what's going on here? It doesn't matter what DD and I eat, we'll never be the same shape as she's not meant to be a skinny type. Her hips/chest are completely different to mine!

@TooLittleSleep

Buffalo was happy to share her private situation and divulge the info about her daughter. Therefore, posters will draw on this as an example.

I was not being unkind, I wish her daughter well.
I, myself, have had an unhealthy relationship with food in the past....you can talk about that if you like, you don't know me and it won't affect my life.

My point was that education and a healthy attitude toward food needs to start from a young age....we don't need to constantly talk about food or body image to do that but set good examples.

Buffalo's daughter has obviously never had a positive approach to food as she was overweight and now critically ill. Her mother telling her that she wants her 'fat' daughter back will not help as she will feel even less than good enough than she already does.
It would have been prudent to notice an unhealthy relationship with food and body image before it came to such an unsafe stage.

I am merely using her as an example, because she he's put her story out there. I have no idea who she is IRL and could be talking about an example from a text book.

Well TalkinPaece according to Professor Caryl Nowson mortality increases significantly for people age 65 and over with a BMI of between 22 - 23 and the risk was lower for this age group with a BMI of 27.5.

There’s a lot of studies that query the use of BMI on its own.

TrendyNorthLondonTeen
I'm not a size 8, but I don't intentionally starve myself or make my self sick after eating every day, so that helps a bit. ;)
See how easily your snidey comments can be turned around?

That's good to know, but are you implying I starve myself? Without knowing me? Because I mentioned pizza etc in response to OP's own words and didn't intend to be "snidey" at all. You are reading too much into it and being unnecessarily aggressive.

You literally said you're a size 8 because you don't eat pizzas and fry ups every day. That implies that over weight people DO eat pizzas and fry ups every day. Adding a passive aggressive wink does not make it cute or funny. 🙄

Amicrazy - the people in your family are probably consuming different amounts of food which you're not always fully aware of. Perhaps one always has seconds or always cleans their plate or has had slightly bigger portions over the years. No one child has exactly the same upbringing as their sibling.