To not was any sex from DH

[beardsturnmeoff]

NC for this.

Have been with DH for about 15 years, married for about 10 years. 2 DC.

He keeps going through phases of growing a beard.

I HATE it. Can't climax in the bedroom because of the big itchy annoying beard rubbing all over me.

He won't shave it because I 'shouldn't be shallow' and he loves it.

Now, if he was ill and had something change appearance wise for reasons beyond his control it would be different.

But I fucking hate his ugly itchy arse beard, and it makes me so mad I'm just refusing to have Sex at all now. He is actually keeping it though. It's now gone on so long I actually wonder if I will have to LTB.

It looks shit too by the way. I haven't found anyone who disagrees with me.

The OP is abusive and controlling

Ffs. I can’t be the only one who thinks the word “abusive” gets bandied around far too easily on MN. It devalues the word and basically defines us all to “abusers” as no one is perfect.

Is your pubic hair well maintained so your other half is satisfied with its appearance?

What’s the problem in trying to maintain your pubic hair in a way that your partner finds attractive (if it causes you no great inconvenience or pain in doing so)? I have no issue with it, and that doesn’t make me downtrodden or abused .

I’d hate to be in a relationship where both parties were ultra-defensive about their bodies and strident in their “my body, my choice so fuck off if you don’t like it” attitude.

@Oakenbeach agree!

I just wanted to pop back to say that I hope I've not offended people whose DH have beards. Some men look great with beards (admittedly though not my DH current beard!). I just don't like the feel of them.

I think the whole grooming of the beard is important here too.

On reflection it sounds like the beard a macguffin here. Might you be using it to express how you feel about your relationship? I'm not sure such strong emotions about facial hair are normal as a sole concern.

@Ifonlybatshadhats no I just reeeeeeeally hate the beard. Shudder.

“Agree, beards are absolutely vile”

Bit strong! My husband’s been bearded since he was 17, he’s 60 this year. He looks lovely. (Though to be fair, it was a style statement back then I think, he needs it to cover his double chin(s) now 😁)

Abusive and controlling 😂😂😂

Get a grip

Wow I have an update.

I told hubby how I feel. That it's up to him to keep the beard as he likes but that I HATE IT. That I NEED sex. I started describing the sex that I need.

New razor blades have been ordered. Hooray.

His line: 'we can't get a divorce over a beard.'

Glad to hear your DH has listened to you.
I was going to suggest he wear a bag over his head for sex.
Also, still sniggering to myself over your op where you say But I fucking hate his ugly itchy arse beard - arse beard - tee hee.

Fantastic - great result

Thank goodness he has seen sense!! I too hate the feel of stubble and beard etc it means I can't bear to be kissed, no kissing = no sex.

I'm glad he's decided that he wants to shave it off for you.

There was a similar thread a while ago. People seem to think that women should have sex they don't want and feel physically repulsed by when beards are involved apparently.

Cool story sis... Of course he has

If you're not attracted to the beard and he's refusing the shave it then you've reached a empass. I would be very upset personally if my husband altered his self so drastically that I was no longer getting turned on! And for those saying "what if it was a woman" I'd say that the man in that situation would get same response. No sexual attraction=no marriage to me.

Oops I didn't see that he had shaved it. Hopefully he doesn't grow it back again like you said. Grats OP.

That was a v quick turnaround, op?!

May the beard never reappear!

Feel a bit torn here. If he ‘hated’ something about your appearance that you loved, would you change it just to appease him? For example if you decided to dye your hair a different colour and he said he hated it, would you change it back just for him?

I’m sure there’d be outrage on here if a poster said her DH wouldn’t have sex with her because he found her pubes a turn off. Beards are as natural as pubes. If he prefers having one, I really don’t think you have a say...

He's not shaved it, just ordered blades

I agree that was a quick turnaround. It’s probably because op had the time to express her feelings on the thread and then was better able to articulate her issues to her dh.

Yay! Result. Ooooh, I hope he goes through with the shave-off, OP. Please come and tell us when it's gone.

For example if you decided to dye your hair a different colour and he said he hated it, would you change it back just for him?

The OP did exactly that, as you would have seen if you had read the thread. I did the same for my DP. Last year I wanted to go grey because I'm sick of the faff of hair-dyeing, but my DP said he wouldn't like it at all, so I'm carrying on with the dye. I think that's a reasonable decision on my part - I want him to find me attractive.

I bet you would all be OUTRAGED if your husbands asked you to shave your hairy fannies because it turned him off 😂 if I was him I’d be glad you didn’t want sex. Plenty of other women love beards 😜

That I NEED sex. I started describing the sex that I need.

So glad for that riveting update. 🤨

Nice to see that it's only your needs that count.
Your hubby should grown the beard back just to keep you away.

PS- BEARDS ARE SEXY, but if my DP wants to shave his off, I won't be a complete bitch and control the shit out of him til he grows it back. It's his face after all!

Tell him if he wants sex, he shaves nice and smooth that evening. If he's still got the beard, you'll take it that he doesn't want sex. He knows what the remedy is!

Tell him if he wants sex, he shaves nice and smooth that evening. If he's still got the beard, you'll take it that he doesn't want sex. He knows what the remedy is!

Why does the theme of this sound like men are motivated only by sex?
Maybe if he doesn't shave, it's because HE LIKES HIS BEARD, ON HIS FACE!!

BEARDS ARE SEXY, but if my DP wants to shave his off, I won't be a complete bitch and control the shit out of him til he grows it back. It's his face after all!

Yeah and it's her face she doesn't want scratching to bits.