AIBU - Weird subconscious behaviour when women are out for dinner together - AIBU?

[Mazes]

I was out for dinner yesterday evening with four female friends (were all early 40s). No problem whatsoever with ordering the cocktails, but when it came to ordering from the food menu, one friend chimed in first with the, “I’m just going to go for a salad” and, as always happens, everyone else followed suit with the salads. Does anyone else find this or is it just me? One friend did ask for some fries “for the table” but then everybody just looked at them until they got taken away. I’m not on a diet and nor is anyone else as far as I can tell so why does this happen? Then when it came to dessert orders, there was an uncomfortable silence before everyone declined, of course. Then we had a pot of mint tea. Nobody ate the bread either. It was my turn to pay and I felt like the actual “food” part of the menu was there for decoration only.
AIBU to think this kind of behaviour goes on a lot without women even realising they’re doing it? It’s as if it’s fine to knock back 3 cocktails, but nobody eats a chip!

@WiggleXX - I would have lost my shit with that.

I have just remembered another type - penny pinchers who very oddly suggest meals out to places out of their price range.

This is years ago and pre-mobile phones. Stupidly, DH and I waited as the friend was an hour and a half late to meet us - she had opted for a series of buses across North London instead of taking the tube, didn't think to mention her plan to us and had no way to let us know. Happy for the time she was supposed to meet us to long pass by, in order to save herself 80p. We arrive at her recommended restaurant it was: "I'll have a salad." W.T.F. Meanwhile DH and I are starving and absolutely baffled at what she was playing at. It would have been possible to predict the price of this chain restaurant and judge whether recommending it was advisable.

She would also do things like suggest a restaurant she 'wanted to try' but but then expect the entire meal to be shared - starter, main. I did go along with it once, and the next week there was a sign outside saying: "No sharing special deal meals."

I'm ranting now.

DH and I were far from minted at this time and tbh would have been quite happy with a local caf type place. But it was like: No, I saw this in the Evening Standard magazine, we have to go there.

That is odd.

I have some relatives who occasionally insist on expensive. These days I clearly state "that is out of our budget range" and suggest somewhere cheaper. They either go along with cheaper option or offer to pay if they really want me there which seems fair enough.

I am then careful what I order though and don't take the piss!

I'm not a desert-lover, the menu is usually chocolate-loaded and I hate chocolate. I would very happily order a starter though to eat with the desert-eaters. Would that bother anybody here?

*dessert... see, told you I don't like them.

One friend did ask for some fries “for the table” but then everybody just looked at them until they got taken away.

Of course the friends only ordered salad if the one poor sap who ordered the fries got dragged off

You're bold AirBiscuit

My various groups of friends and I enjoy eating out and competitive/refusal to eat situations like this never happen. I mean I see eating at a restaurant as eating one of your daily meals, so it’s not like you’re necessarily consuming lots of extra calories. If you want to have a large meal then just eat less through the rest of the day surely. If anything we probably spend too much money trying new things and buying cocktails!

I’m short & can’t stomach 3 courses of food as I get full quickly, so sometimes I’ll order various starters or just the main or something random like just fries or salad. My friends don’t think anything of this because I never finish my food, eat v slowly and end up speaking too much so it’s less annoying for them if I order less! Or a friend and I might order a selection of dishes to share and everyone else eats what they like.

Having said that, I definitely have colleagues that would behave like this!

Doesn't happen with my friends either. We all eat as we need it to soak the alcohol consumption later when we are dancing 🤣😂

We all want value for money and time too. If we're getting to be out without children & other halves, no way I'm paying money to eat salad & soup. I eat them when I'm ill haha.

AirBiscuit - you're funny.

OP: "In lunches of universal deprivation, eating the chips is a revolutionary act."

GET IT, GIRL! REVOLUTION!!!

I always order fries, and I eat them

Carbophobia is rampant, isn't it? I suppose it's all the bad press sugar and starch gets in the media. Still, in my seaside home town, folk still come to sit on the sea wall looking out over the waves and happily stuff their faces from a tray of fresh fish and chips in crispy batter, as the delicate aroma of vinegar and mushy peas wafts along the prom...