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Original poster

To advise my daughter to marry rich.

308 replies

miyty · 02/03/2019 14:25

Ok hear me out.

I will be advising my daughters to look at a person's job and prospects and to really think about what life will look like with someone in a poorly paid career/ job.

Im not saying that this is the main focus- not at all. Merely it is something to definitely think strong and hard about.

Looking at all my friends and family. The ones that are financially well off and have a lot more life choices for themselves and a better quality of life for their kids too have married men who have very good jobs. They themselves are mostly in mediocre jobs and a few of them have never even worked.

OP posts:
Motherofcreek · 03/03/2019 07:35

Christ you sound like my friend who is raising her daughter as breeding stock!

MsTSwift · 03/03/2019 07:40

Marry for money earn every penny! Earn your own money and marry a smart kind hardworking man is my advice. I am a hopeless gold digger personally dh laughed his head off when he heard I had declined a date with a mutual colleague to go out with him. Colleague only son of one of England’s oldest and wealthiest families Grin

Babygrey7 · 03/03/2019 07:54

Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername surely she's entitled to some form of alimony and some of his pension, half the house etc?!

ree348 · 03/03/2019 07:54

You sound like a mum that's just come straight out of a Jane Austen novel!

Please teach your children to be strong finically independent women so they never have to rely on their husband. Marriage or being in a committed relationship should be a partnership.

This is what I will be teaching my daughters.

MsTSwift · 03/03/2019 07:59

Also rich smart men tend to marry women like themselves as previous posters say. The wealthy and aristocratic marry within their own social group and talented men tend to marry within their own profession. The Cinderella scenario is pretty rare. If she wants to marry a rich man she needs to be a lawyer / banker herself - secretary won’t cut it. There are exceptions but not often

yogafailure · 03/03/2019 08:01

My DD is almost 18 and I've tried to drum into her the value of independence, ensuring your own earning capacity, and marrying if she wants to but ultimately looking for a partner who is an equal, who loves her, puts her first and that she can rely on. I've never mentioned money 🤷🏼‍♀️

BatsAreCool · 03/03/2019 08:05

How sad to advise this OP. How about bringing your DD up to be educated and to earn her own money. I have always been financially independent and would advise anyone to do the same.

Auramigraine · 03/03/2019 08:07

So I raise a well adjusted son who goes as far as he can with his career and does well for himself only for you to tell your daughter to marry him for his success and not for love. Hope she never comes across my son.

Moorfields · 03/03/2019 08:13

Within my social circle, we're all professionals, we tend to meet our partners through work connections. It's an industry with long hours and lucrative pay & hard work is rewarded. My friend is in an unrelated profession but with similar pay & she tends to date guys earning similar money. I suppose anybody earning a lot less & wanting to date someone in my circle would be regarded as a gold digger. Which is what you're encouraging your dd to do when you should be encouraging her to get an education & be successful in her own right.

1Wanda1 · 03/03/2019 08:14

Has the OP been back to this thread?

Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername · 03/03/2019 08:19

baby She was..until the youngest was out of education....she's out

TeeJay1970 · 03/03/2019 08:31

The mothers of sons should be advising them to avoid marrying daughters like yours at all costs.

I don't want my som marrying a cuntlodger!

TeeJay1970 · 03/03/2019 08:33

Maybe advise her to become a prostitute.
Good money and she'd be lying on her back all day.

FenellaMaxwell · 03/03/2019 08:34

Well, quite. It worked brilliantly for Lord Lucan’s wife..... oh, wait.....

MsTSwift · 03/03/2019 08:34

I don’t think mothers of sons have anything to worry about - would imagine most intelligent men would spot a gold digger at a glance and then go on to marry their work colleague who loves them for who they are and not their salary as she has her own decent salary thank you very much.

SeaweedDress · 03/03/2019 08:40

Mrs Bennet, is that you? Do the girls a favour and stop embarrassing yourself at Assembly balls, and plotting enforced sleepovers at the Bingleys’.

Oliversmumsarmy · 03/03/2019 08:44

Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername surely your friend ended up with 1/2 the house which if they were rich would have been worth something, 1/2 pension, 1/2 of any upgrade of worth in his business.

I have a friend going through something similar, children all grown up and left home.

She has been awarded the house and a large chunk of cash.

Parly · 03/03/2019 08:46

Not unreasonable but not something I understand to or relate on any level.

One of the last things down the list would be money and professional it really isn't up top or that much at all.

Then again I'd be the happiest woman and mother ever if my daughter came home and said she was dating JonTron or Landon Moss.

Ultimately and even if she chooses someone we don't like or think is the ideal, if she's happy and he makes it so that'll do.

JonTron and Landon Moss though... Love.

spicygirl26 · 03/03/2019 08:48

I think that's really quite sad. Before we had children I was a very good earner, but my partner was a minimum wage factory worker. We are both now minimum wage earners, just about scraping through each month but we are unbelievably happy together. I can't imagine ever have discounting him as someone to spend my life with simply because he was never going to be rich or have good job prospects.

G5000 · 03/03/2019 09:20

Unless we're talking about ultra wealthy here, half of a moderate, mortgaged house is really not that much. I have what one would call a good job with a 6 figure salary. If DH wanted to leave and take half of what we have, he would still not be able to manage that well if he had never worked and could not support himself.

C8H10N4O2 · 03/03/2019 09:56

I advised my sons and daughters to make themselves the object of fortune hunters.

Then marry who the fuck they liked.

Ididalwayswonder · 03/03/2019 10:06

Did you do the same, OP?

Let's hope she doesn't take your advice. 'Rich' men can still be abusive twats. Teach her to be independent.

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc · 03/03/2019 10:10

Marry someone who works hard and make sure you work hard yourself

Gwenhwyfar · 03/03/2019 10:17

"I'd advise to marry kind and think about their own career choices carefully."

This is often the advice given here on MN by women who are successful in their careers. Those giving it always forget that many people are not able to have highly paid careers. We don't all have the skills or talent to do it.

Gwenhwyfar · 03/03/2019 10:18

"Marry someone who works hard and make sure you work hard yourself"

A carer and a childminder couple could work extremely hard, but still struggle to make both ends meet. Working hard is not necessarily a route to financial security.

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