Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 15 16

Original poster

Teachers said my DD didn't have enough to eat

395 replies

StoppinBy · 01/03/2019 23:18

First off I think I am BU at how much I let this upset me for personal reasons but I am seeking clarification on whether I actually do send her enough.

When I picked up DD6 the teacher in charge at the time said to me that one of DD's teachers had said that I wasn't sending enough for her to eat, yesterday she had :

A vegemite sandwich, two cherry tomatoes, an apple, a chunk of cheese cut off the block and a big handful of nuts, she brought home a cherry tomato, some of her crust and some of her nuts .

The reasoning behind saying she didn't have enough food was that she had eaten her sandwich and a tomato and her cheese at 'snack time' - 11am and then had her nuts and apple at lunch - 1pm. Apparently she often does this.

We usually have lunch at 11:30 - 12 at home to fit around DS's naps so personally I can't see the issue with how she ate and I feel that if she was actually hungry that she would eat everything in her lunch box but she regularly brings stuff home.

AIBU to think that she does have enough food and that the teachers are actually wrong or do most kids eat more than that?

OP posts:

Kneehigim · 02/03/2019 06:50

TBH I wouldn't be stubborn about this. They will bring home foods they don't like, hungry or not.

Kneehigim · 02/03/2019 06:53

Also, mine always ate about 80% of her total food intake in the first half of the day. So, she possibly is actually hungry. For the sake of sending an extra slice of bread/meat with her to ensure she is not hungry, this wouldn't be the hill I'd choose to die on.

Mumphineasandferbmadea · 02/03/2019 07:03

I work in a UK school that allows nuts. They don't see the point of banning something no ones allergic to.

Original poster

StoppinBy · 02/03/2019 07:06

@knee, she picked the tomatoes from our garden herself to take and she likes nuts, she is not bringing home foods she doesn't like, she just brings home whatever she hasn't eaten, it is not a hill I am choosing to die on at all.

To be clear, the issue I had with food was from about the age of 11/12 I refused to eat in front of people, this included a 3 day camp in year 12, I spent many days hungry for this reason and had a mother who did not even notice I stopped taking food to school (I didn't throw it away I just didn't take it), for this reason I also ask her to bring home anything that she hasn't eaten (hence the yogurt in the bag mess) that she hasn't eaten.

I carried this behaviour in to adult hood and when I had children I was determined that I would never pass on this behaviour or feeling around food, the reason I am upset about the teacher saying what they did is actually because I want the opposite for my child, I never want her to be at school hungry the way I was.

If I thought she was hungry I would genuinely give her extra food, no two ways about it.

OP posts:

Unescorted · 02/03/2019 07:08

That is more than I take for my lunch. At what point do they start teaching about portion size? Why should a child have their idea of what is a "normal" portion skewed by being made to take extra food to school when she is evidently not hungry?

Kneehigim · 02/03/2019 07:08

Well maybe try sending an extra sandwich for a week to see if it gets eaten? If it doesn't, revert to her usual lunch.

Kneehigim · 02/03/2019 07:09

Well we don't know why the teacher's attention was drawn to the amount of food. It is entirely possible the dd complained about being hungry at lunch time.

potatochips84 · 02/03/2019 07:11

@Kneehigim I was just about to say the same

It doesn't seem to be a problem she is having sandwich at 11 but maybe she is getting tired or hungry late afternoon (not sure if they have afternoon snack but I couldn't survive 11:30-dinner with just a small snack)

Worth a try to send an extra sandwich and see if she wants to eat it at lunch?

It's so interesting how different it is everywhere. In England it definitely would be against the norm to have your own snack at break at that age (I know some allow snacks for Ks2 children once the free fruit has stopped)

Mummadeeze · 02/03/2019 07:14

Maybe give her two sandwiches so she can have one at break and one at lunch? How about a yoghurt or some crisps?

PenelopeFlintstone · 02/03/2019 07:17

I'm English in Australia and I was really surprised that when they're at school they eat at break time. I'm used to it now though. And then they introduced Crunch and Sip so they eat again!
So, breakfast at home (maybe), fruit and water at 10am, snack at 11am and then lunch at 1pm. So much eating!
I am 50 so the UK is probably different to when I went to school but we only ate once in the school day.

Original poster

StoppinBy · 02/03/2019 07:23

@Penelope, yep at our school we have 11am snack, 1pm lunch and they are free to snack on fruit or veg at any time during the day if they get hungry.

OP posts:

Littlebird88 · 02/03/2019 07:27

I would give another sandwich specifically for break and see how that goes . you can always decrease the amount in her lunchbox if need be.
maybe having a box for break and a seperate one for lunch would help .

VelvetPineapple · 02/03/2019 07:30

I don’t think that’s enough food. A Vegemite sandwich is basically just bread. Ideally the sandwich should have some protein based filling eg chicken. I wouldn’t count veg as “food” either because it’s virtually calorie free. I’d probably have added a yogurt, a banana and a breaktime snack to the lunch described.

mathanxiety · 02/03/2019 07:31

'Little lunch^

This is what we called the 15 minute mid morning snack time in my convent primary school in Ireland (and we could eat mid morning in secondary too, at 'break time').

You bring your own food to school in Ireland.

Curiousmum69 · 02/03/2019 07:32

Doesn't sound like much to me. I mean the cheese and tomatoes could easily be in the sandwhich. I'd add some thing extra. A boiled egg. Or put something more filling in the sandwhich. Tuna, ham, cheese etc and then maybe add some cucumber sick etc

mathanxiety · 02/03/2019 07:34

StoppingBy have you asked her if she is hungry?

Have you asked her why her teacher might have thought she was hungry?

If I were you I would follow up with the teacher.

Fazackerley · 02/03/2019 07:35

Send an extra sandwich with the crusts off (mine ate the whole thing then rather than leave a lot around the crusts)

TheSerenDipitY · 02/03/2019 07:37

at my sons school in NZ they have a milk break, where they are given a boxed milk drink, play/snack break, lunch and then later a fruit break
the milk and fruit break is taken in class and lunch they have to sit for 20 mins (i think) eating and then a bell rings and its time to go play for 30 mins
i have been told i packed too much lunch and he missed out on play time staying back to eat... my reply was... he packs his own lunch and brings exactly whats he wants to eat that day and if he was staying back to eat then he was hungry
we dont make a big deal at home... if he wants to eat he eats, if hes not hungry we dont force him to eat
i also serve healthy breakfasts and dinners, so we dont get too worked up about treats at lunch as he works if off during the rest of the day, and before you ask hes super tall and skinny and one of the most well behaved children in the school ( his very stressed teacher said she loves having him i her class as he is the one kid she never has to worry about, she hugged him when we moved back to the school 5 weeks ago, she was so pleased to see him)

if it is mentioned again tell them at home you have lunch at 11.30 and that is why she has her sandwiches at 11, and you are fine with what ever order that she chooses to eat her food in and that within reason she chooses what is in her lunch so everything she packs is what she wants to eat and you are happy with how and what she is eating

Booboostwo · 02/03/2019 07:37

What does your DD say? At 6yo I would expect her to be able to tell you if she was hungry or wanted to eat something different.

As for what types of food are eaten when, I have a very picky eater and through dealing with him I have realized that we have some irrational views on what should be eaten when. Breakfast foods vary widely around the world, yet we want to stick to specific, ‘approved’ items. Does it really matter if a child eats a bigger meal at 11 and only a snack at 1? I don’t see this as a problem, just an acceptable difference. As a child I could never eat breakfast because my stomach always felt unsettled early in the morning, but I remember eating huge salami sandwiches at the 11am break (not everyone’s choice, I know, but I loved them).

malificent7 · 02/03/2019 07:39

Id put something extra just to shut them up but also so she has options.

Springwalk · 02/03/2019 07:40

I would give her a wrap with vegetables for break, then she has the sandwich for lunch. If she doesn’t eat it then you have your answer.
It could be she is sick and tired of nuts and tomatoes. Do you swap it around often? I have to be in a particular mood to eat nuts.
My guess is she is burning tons of energy in the morning, hungry at break and then her appetite plateaus.

You have obv given her packed lunch a great deal of thought and care, don’t be offended.

Original poster

StoppinBy · 02/03/2019 07:42

Yes, I have asked her several times if she has been hungry, we also pack her lunch together EVERY morning, surely at some point along the way she would have said 'Mum, can we throw in an extra sandwich' if she was getting hungry.

She is in no way a shy retiring type, she is quite able and willing to express her opinions and concerns, she has told me that she didn't say anything to her teacher and that no one said anything to her either.

OP posts:

Allyg1185 · 02/03/2019 07:47

yabbers In my part of Scotland the primary 1 and 2 children get free fruit three times a week.

Anyway I know the op isn't from the UK but I think teachers/schools need to take a step back and not get so involved in children's lunches. Yes fair enough if the lunch is a piece of dry bread and an energy drink then get involved.

On here it seems some schools are incredibly strict on what seems to be healthy packed lunches.

Kneehigim · 02/03/2019 07:47

Well put it this way, something has triggered the teacher to mention it.

Dolphinnoises · 02/03/2019 07:50

Ok. Firstly - kids coming in, hoovering up their lunch for break and having no food for actual lunch is a thing teachers have to deal with. DD2 was on the sharp end of this last year when a little girl would do this then nag DD2 to share her packed lunch!

But in your instance this is not the case and the lunch sounds fine. A cheerful email to the school saying “Dear Mrs Teacher, Thanks for your concern about DD’s lunching habits. I’ve given the matter some thought. We eat lunch at 1130 in this house so I think regardless of what I pack she will always want the sandwich at 11, as 1pm is currently too late for her. However I will watch the situation closely, and as soon as I am not getting leftover food home (which I do most days) I will up her portions. Best wishes”

I’m not in the UK right now (so I also understand how nuts are handled differently in other countries - my DD ate lunch in her classroom last year and could bring in peanut butter, this year she can’t)

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 15 16