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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Lie for ds

111 replies

Worzilgummidge · 01/03/2019 15:44

Ds went along with a few of his mates today during lunch break from college to book a holiday however they ended up in there ages and ds didn't make his next lesson. He emailed his tutor shortly before lesson was due to say he wasn't well and wouldn't be back and that he had asked me to collect him. His tutor isn't happy and knows he went to book a holiday and is saying she is gonna speak to me so now ds is pleading with me to back up his story as he is worried he will get kicked off the course. Would you lie for him.

OP posts:
FriarTuck · 01/03/2019 15:45

No. He should have gone after school or at the weekend if he couldn't get it done in time at lunchtime.

SarahFreeman1 · 01/03/2019 15:46

Yes I would back him up

Spiderbanana · 01/03/2019 15:46

My head says no. He needs to grow up and take responsibility for his actions.

But if my son was at risk of getting kicked off a course I might. Blush

Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 01/03/2019 15:47

I think it was a case of go when the mates went together because he didn't wanna be left in the dark.

OP posts:
MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 01/03/2019 15:48

Absolutely not. I'm surprised you're even considering it. He did something daft and irresponsible and needs to apologise and accept the consequences. That's how you learn. If you cover for him then you have no one to blame but yourself if he keeps on being daft and irresponsible. It will come back to bite you.

Todaythiscouldbe · 01/03/2019 15:48

I would back him up. Presumably it's a one off

Wolfiefan · 01/03/2019 15:48

Not a hope in hell.
How old is he and who’s paying for this holiday?

Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 01/03/2019 15:48

He said he thought an hour was enough to get the hol booked and out but it took so much longer.

OP posts:
TeenTimesTwo · 01/03/2019 15:49

Unless you know different, I can't see that they would kick him off the course for this, unless it is the end of a long line of incidents.
He needs to take responsibility and apologise.

Jackshouse · 01/03/2019 15:49

If he is old enough to go on holiday by himself then he is old enough to sort this situation out himself.

Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 01/03/2019 15:49

He is 18 and he is paying for it with my help.

OP posts:
Fiveredbricks · 01/03/2019 15:49

He's at college. He's old enough to sort his own stuff out and parents shouldn't be involved tbh. Very weird that college tutors are involved with parents at all these days.

Sirzy · 01/03/2019 15:50

Nope if he is old enough to be going on holiday with mates he is old enough to be taking responsibility for his actions

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 01/03/2019 15:50

They won't kick him off the course if this is the first 'offence'. The fact that he's so worried would make me think he knows he's already on thin ice.

bridgetreilly · 01/03/2019 15:52

No. In general I probably wouldn't but in this situation I definitely wouldn't. There's literally no reason why your son shouldn't take the consequences for his choices here.

Wolfiefan · 01/03/2019 15:52

If he’s not mature enough to book a holiday without missing college and risking getting thrown off the course then he’s not mature enough to go on a holiday he’s expecting you to part fund.
Ex teacher. Students aren’t normally kicked off a course for missing a single session. What “form” has he got?

StinkyCandle · 01/03/2019 15:53

To avoid him being kicked out, yes, I probably would: saying he did go to book that thing, then felt unwell when I went to pick him up.

I would also give my child hell privately and would at least consider cancelling that holiday. Things have consequences, and they need to be bad enough that he understands that you don't just ask mummy to lie for you to get away with everything.

BlueMerchant · 01/03/2019 15:55

I wouldn't lie. She knows already that he went to book a holiday! He should really be mature and tell her honestly that it took more time than he thought and went as he didn't want to be left in dark etc. If he is honest he has probably more chance of not getting kicked off the course. I'd hate the lies more than the missed lesson. I'd have more leniency if he was grown up and honest.

AnnaComnena · 01/03/2019 15:55

I'd look into the college policy and see if he really is in danger of being kicked out. Has he often been late/missed sessions? Is that why he thinks he might be kicked out and so felt the need to lie? I wouldn't be inclined to back anyone up in a lie, and I'd want to be sure I had the whole truth out of him before I even considered it. And probably then only if it was a one off, not repeated skiving.

wheelygo · 01/03/2019 15:56

I would lie for him, it’s not like it’s a regular occurrence

Nesssie · 01/03/2019 15:57

I would say to the tutor hes 18 and you aren't getting involved. Highly unlikely she is going to ring you. Its college ffs.
And unlikely if this is a one off that he is going to get kicked off the course. Shes just trying to scare him and teach him a lesson.

BarbarianMum · 01/03/2019 15:58

Of course they wont kick him off the course. He just doesnt want to admit he lied. I'd not lie for him, learning to admit it when youve messed up is a useful life skill.

Original poster
Worzilgummidge · 01/03/2019 15:59

He is regarded as a good student

OP posts:
RatherBeRiding · 01/03/2019 15:59

If it's a one off - yes I would rather than him risk his place on the course. I am sure he's had a fright and learned a lesson.

AssassinatedBeauty · 01/03/2019 15:59

No I wouldn't lie for him. If that's enough for him to get kicked off his course then he must already have done enough for this to be the last straw. He needs to learn that you don't force other people to lie for you.