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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To move and not tell the in-laws....(very lighthearted)

294 replies

Wantmyflipflops · 26/02/2019 17:55

Hi everyone...first time poster, long time stalker here. My life is pretty boring so never had anything of real substance to moan about on here but finally something I and ask you lovely people is IAMBU...

Now obviously I won't change the locks. I have a 4 year old and a 7 week old so it would be far too much of a bother (and mean I have to stop cuddling the kids to do it).

So...DH, MIL, SIL and her DH and 5 DC (yes 5) all live in a 5 mile radius of us. We moved from London 10 years ago and they all liked the area and to my horror have moved here. DH thinks it is great but as you can imagine I am distraught (feigning total trauma here).

3 days ago I went out on my own with my 2 DD, it was genuinely stressful due to discovering that my 4 year old had taken all the nappies out of the baby bag midway through a nappy change. Thankfully a mum was waiting outside and took pity on me and gave me spare nappy...angels do exist.

So frazzled and stressed I arrived home and opened the front door...to be met with 5 kids in the playroom that had been totally ransacked (oldest is 12 and was literally throwing things across the room). The utter shock must have been all over my face as when I walked in the living room all 4 of the adults started making excuses about the state of the house. oh they are just kids, they will tidy up, they are just excited...etc...etc.

I could feel my face getting red and then I look at my BIL and see he is eating the dinner I had put in the slow cooker and in the corner of the room a box of chocolates I had bought as a thank you to my neighbours had been opened and half eaten.

I am now very ashamed about what happened next but I somewhat exploded. I tried to restrain myself but found whilst asking 'Is that our dinner?' to my husband that my voice was rather loud and shrill...he looked sheepish and BIL smirked to which I then completely went bat shit crazy...

For context - today is my anniversary (8 years) I had prepared the meal at 6 this morning whilst the kids were still sleeping, our neighbour (who I have become very close to over the last 10 years and has basically been like a mum/gran to us) is having the girls for 2 hours so we can eat and just have a little celebration. (Hence the chocolates).

Anyway I told SIL to get in the playroom and tidy up. She looked shocked and said she was always going to tidy (a lie, she never does). Asked who opened the chocolates to which the MIL piped up and said she thought it would be nice for the kids...I told her it was not her place and was a thank you present. She stormed out. BIL slowly put his bowl down and went to help SIL.

They have now all gone - thank fully no-one tried to speak to me and I can hear DH cleaning and sorting out the house.

Have pretty much decided I am putting the house on the market tomorrow and moving.

Please tell me that I am not being a tit here...that was totally out of order right?

Few disclaimers - I have not spoken to DH so I am not sure if he offered the food or BIL just took it. Same with the chocolates. I also do not know if they were here before husband got home. MIL has a spare key for emergencies (which I am requesting back).

I have decided that DH can have the kids for the 2 hours tonight and I am off next door to have my dinner with Gladys. What is a reasonable amount of time I can go without having to look at him?

OP posts:
WhatchaMaCalllit · 26/02/2019 19:11

Unreal!

Not an apology. She's some piece of work.

Enjoy your dinner (and your foot rub)

Fromage · 26/02/2019 19:13

And next time she says you look tired, do a head tilt and in the most patronising talking-to-a-child tone you can do, say "Aww, love. Did you think you saw me through the window? That wasn't a window, was it? It was a mirror."

She sounds vile.

tbh I would seriously think of moving. A friend of mine went as far as putting her house on the market when her own mother was about to put an offer in on a house round the corner. Shock Fortunately her mother backed down and moved an entire mile away. Still not far enough but better than having her mother within custard pie flinging distance.

Original poster
Wantmyflipflops · 26/02/2019 19:13

Very apologetic email from SIL who is mortified her DH ate our anniversary meal. She also apologized about the play room and said it won't happen again.

I finally got 1 apology for the family, I responded that in future they need to be supervised if they are in there and the 12 and 10 year old are too big to be playing in there. She has agreed.

OP posts:
RedHatsDoNotSuitMe · 26/02/2019 19:14

I wish I lived next door to Gladys

Original poster
Wantmyflipflops · 26/02/2019 19:15

@Fromage brilliant.

My mum passed a long time ago and I loved her dearly but we would never in a million years want to live that close to each other ha ha.

OP posts:
Thewheelsarefallingoff · 26/02/2019 19:15

Wow! I wish was more like you, op. Well done, you were great. GrinWine

Teateaandmoretea · 26/02/2019 19:16

MIL is obsessed with my weight. I am a size 18, put on 8lb this pregnancy and am back in my size 18s, but she is constantly telling me not to worry as I can stop wearing maternity clothes soon.

I am 5'10 and a 10/12 but pregnancy totally changed my metabolism and I was a 'massive' 14 for 12 months or so after both.

No one else commented or even noticed tbh but it was lovely having my additional weight pointed out every time I saw her Hmm😂😂

IggyAce · 26/02/2019 19:16

Well done OP you rock and hopefully they will never cross your door step again.

I have a 12 year dd and she would never ever ruin the Christmas magic for anyone else, so she does sound awful and a CF in waiting.

PussGirl · 26/02/2019 19:17

MIL sounds like a prize bitch & as for BIL/DH thinking eating the food was okay because it was for your 4yo - what a cheek.

Gladys sounds like a gem. Move house & find somewhere with a granny annex for Gladys.

SnowWhitesRestingBitchFace · 26/02/2019 19:17

I have honestly read your post (and each post after) with an open mouth! Also read it DH and he is disgusted. Well done for standing up for yourself Flowers

Teateaandmoretea · 26/02/2019 19:17

At least SIL has got the message. Maybe she's read the thread?

Original poster
Wantmyflipflops · 26/02/2019 19:17

@RedHatsDoNotSuitMe I am not overly religious but I think it was divine intervention. I lost my mum, dad, grandad and sister in the space of 3 years and she literally saved my life.

She heard me crying in the house about 3 months after we moved in and knocked on the door with a victoria sponge and a bottle of wine. She is quite literally my mum.

OP posts:
PussGirl · 26/02/2019 19:19

SIL sounds like she has potential to be okay.

ChasedByBees · 26/02/2019 19:20

Wow you were restrained.

You are 7 week post partum and they’re helping yourself to your dinner and giving you more work by leaving tidying for you?

I would have wanted to drop kick them out one by one.

Original poster
Wantmyflipflops · 26/02/2019 19:20

@SnowWhitesRestingBitchFace thanks, it really is disgusting, I just can't bring myself to care that much about them lol.

I do feel like a warrior though...DH keeps asking me what I am doing but I keep telling him to shut up and rub my feet he he.

@Teateaandmoretea she is on here so maybe...I think she may have posted about MIL before and got a lot of sympathy

OP posts:
Samind · 26/02/2019 19:20

I was laughing at the storming upstairs 😂 I used to do that and then slam the bedroom door but now we live in one level house so the feet stamping upstairs has been taken from me 😪😪😂Maybe you should offer her your chicken balls too and let her "help" some more 😂😂 your post has made me smile. Good for you, I'm glad your lo's well again and happy anniversary!

CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson · 26/02/2019 19:21

She heard me crying in the house about 3 months after we moved in and knocked on the door with a victoria sponge and a bottle of wine. She is quite literally my mum

That brought a tear to my eye. What a star Gladys is.

And YANBU. So so not unreasonable. At least SIL realises the mark was not only overstepped but spat on and stamped into the ground.

MakeItAmazing · 26/02/2019 19:21

OP, I ❤️ you and Gladys.

Original poster
Wantmyflipflops · 26/02/2019 19:21

@ChasedByBees MIL is not a carer, in fact I am surprised that her boys even know how to cuddle and show love. If she offered to help me in anyway I would call the police and tell them she had been abducted.

OP posts:
Mmmhmmm · 26/02/2019 19:21

"Wantmyflipflops

And the text says...

Soz about chocs..thought you were on a diet so was helping you out. ?"

So she insulted you while "apologising"...Bitch. 😐

ChasedByBees · 26/02/2019 19:22

I’m glad your SIL apologised. Did you tell them all it was your anniversary meal? I would have thought that BIL should have been mortified too.

Original poster
Wantmyflipflops · 26/02/2019 19:23

@Samind I feel slightly bad about the fact DD 4 asked DH what a fucking anniversary was...oops. I will need to have a conversation with her in the morning. But at least I got her to 4 before she learned a bad word lol

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 26/02/2019 19:23

So they let themselves in? All of them, knowing you were out? I’d go fucking nuts at that. And what the fuck was your bil thinking, living nearby as he does, there was no need to eat your food. What a wanker! What prompted sil to text? Has mil been on to her about nasty Wantmyflipflops?! Hopefully they’ll realise you mean business and will never take the piss again.

I’m appalled at the whole thing.

Teateaandmoretea · 26/02/2019 19:23

Gladys really does sound fab. So sorry about your loss Flowers

Original poster
Wantmyflipflops · 26/02/2019 19:24

@CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson SIL is OK...ish he he

OP posts:
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