To move and not tell the in-laws....(very lighthearted)

[Wantmyflipflops]

Hi everyone...first time poster, long time stalker here. My life is pretty boring so never had anything of real substance to moan about on here but finally something I and ask you lovely people is IAMBU...

Now obviously I won't change the locks. I have a 4 year old and a 7 week old so it would be far too much of a bother (and mean I have to stop cuddling the kids to do it).

So...DH, MIL, SIL and her DH and 5 DC (yes 5) all live in a 5 mile radius of us. We moved from London 10 years ago and they all liked the area and to my horror have moved here. DH thinks it is great but as you can imagine I am distraught (feigning total trauma here).

3 days ago I went out on my own with my 2 DD, it was genuinely stressful due to discovering that my 4 year old had taken all the nappies out of the baby bag midway through a nappy change. Thankfully a mum was waiting outside and took pity on me and gave me spare nappy...angels do exist.

So frazzled and stressed I arrived home and opened the front door...to be met with 5 kids in the playroom that had been totally ransacked (oldest is 12 and was literally throwing things across the room). The utter shock must have been all over my face as when I walked in the living room all 4 of the adults started making excuses about the state of the house. oh they are just kids, they will tidy up, they are just excited...etc...etc.

I could feel my face getting red and then I look at my BIL and see he is eating the dinner I had put in the slow cooker and in the corner of the room a box of chocolates I had bought as a thank you to my neighbours had been opened and half eaten.

I am now very ashamed about what happened next but I somewhat exploded. I tried to restrain myself but found whilst asking 'Is that our dinner?' to my husband that my voice was rather loud and shrill...he looked sheepish and BIL smirked to which I then completely went bat shit crazy...

For context - today is my anniversary (8 years) I had prepared the meal at 6 this morning whilst the kids were still sleeping, our neighbour (who I have become very close to over the last 10 years and has basically been like a mum/gran to us) is having the girls for 2 hours so we can eat and just have a little celebration. (Hence the chocolates).

Anyway I told SIL to get in the playroom and tidy up. She looked shocked and said she was always going to tidy (a lie, she never does). Asked who opened the chocolates to which the MIL piped up and said she thought it would be nice for the kids...I told her it was not her place and was a thank you present. She stormed out. BIL slowly put his bowl down and went to help SIL.

They have now all gone - thank fully no-one tried to speak to me and I can hear DH cleaning and sorting out the house.

Have pretty much decided I am putting the house on the market tomorrow and moving.

Please tell me that I am not being a tit here...that was totally out of order right?

Few disclaimers - I have not spoken to DH so I am not sure if he offered the food or BIL just took it. Same with the chocolates. I also do not know if they were here before husband got home. MIL has a spare key for emergencies (which I am requesting back).

I have decided that DH can have the kids for the 2 hours tonight and I am off next door to have my dinner with Gladys. What is a reasonable amount of time I can go without having to look at him?

I would very much enjoy texting someone like your MIL back in the same tone as her message. So, she saw you looking tired at nursery drop off, I would text back "Yes, saw you looking. You looked at death's door, must have had a bad night." And the eating your chocolates because she thought you were on a diet "You should watch that lack of will power, I thought your clothes were starting to look a bit tight recently."

The slight flaw with having a key to Glady's house is what if you forget both your key and her key?

Not only change the locks, but don't tell her you've done it or ask for the keys.

She'll try and let herself in again and will tell you the key didn't work - giving you the chance to cats bum mouth whilst asking why she thought she had the right to enter your house without you being there. Whatever excuse she gives, you can reply with "...which is exactly why we changed the locks..."

My in-laws started taking he piss once we were married, and it escalated when I was about mid way through my first pregnancy. We moved. It was getting ridiculous them turning up en masse and expecting to be waited on hand and foot, the constant casual expectations of physical and/or financial help, having zero bloody boundaries. Now we only have to bat away ridiculous expectations and field snide remarks about once every six months. Obviously I’ve taken their baby boy cash-cow away and I’m even more awful, but who gives a shit when you hardly see them! I feel like people’s awfulness really shines through when you’re either pregnant or in the newborn stage.

Change the locks and leave a spare key with Gladys next door for emergencies, she sounds much nicer than the in laws.

Bloody hell, it's like Goldilocks And The Three Bears

"Thank you for your interest. I find these days most people just mind their own business, don't you?"
I use this a lot, it really works.

Good for you OP! Enjoy the bath!🛀🏻🧼

I ❤ Gladys. Think everybody needs a Gladys in their lives. Congratulations on your new baby, and hope that your rescued anniversary is a lovely one- good luck with the in-laws, I call mine the outlaws, also cf's. Make sure husband knows that you have a sore back coming on and a shoulder massage is almost as good as a card 😁

Your MIL is batshit 🙈

I’d definitely use this as an excuse to never have them round your house again!

They sound a complete nightmare. Good for you!

I ❤️ Gladys too!

You went out 3 days ago, changed a nappy, and came home tonight?

I am confused too.
When did this happen? 3 days ago or this evening?

Well done FlipFlop. I applaud you.

They really needed telling. well done you x

Typo? 3 hours instead of days?!

I'm confused too

OP you are truly wonder woman what an absolute star,well done for getting them told and I have no doubt you will get the key back.

Reminds me of the time a mum from school latched onto me.Everyday in the school yard she would chat then her and her kids would follow me home.They just walked in one day and totally took over.

I kept saying to the mum get your kids off that,tell them to stop standing in my window sill and licking my windows.

Finally got them to play in the garden with strict intructions not to play with the sand pit as the lid had been off in the night and the sand was wet and also do not bring ouside toys into the house.

I got rid of them when the bike and a spade full of sand had been brought into the house.

I had to clean right through and clean all windows. When outside to get my washing in....every bit of it was covered in wet sand. My young son told me they had deliberatly chucked the sand.

The next morning we are getting ready for school and there is a knock at the door,its the mum and her 2 naughty kids....I ignore the door,then I hear it being kicked by one kid as the other is looking through my window with his hands all over it....I can hear the mum laughing.

I opened the door and the kids went to push past me so I blocked their way.I shouted at the mum how dare she stand there while her kids kick my door.That I now have yet more windows to clean after she let her kids run riot round my house the day before etc etc....I told her ---- off and never come back.....
Some times it feels good to lose you shit...

Oops I saw some of the 3 days ago comments and it confused me. Then checked my post. I was originally going to write about how 3 days ago i had gone out and bought DH an anniversary gift. But thought it was too detailed so re wrote. I can confirm it all happened today. Just a rage typo lol xxx

Really enjoyed my AIBU experience but I can do without the drama for a little while before posting again lol.

Thanks for the clarification flipflops

In that case I would like to add my sincere admiration for dealing with total CFs in an immediate, non passive aggressive and completely satisfying manner

applauds

@Youandwhosearmy thanks muchly!!! Sounds ridiculous but 3 days ago was the first time I felt confident taking both DDs out alone and I was on a high after doing it again today...apart from nappy incident lol x

Ah okay, I get it now about the three days! Well done you...hopefully they won’t do it again

Ah it doesn't sound ridiculous at all, mine are all massive teens now (and I'm hard as nails) but I remember those days well, that's why I'm so impressed at you giving them all hell! I think I would have just thrown a big teary tantrum on the floor

Way to go OP - that's a brilliant reaction to the CF behaviour.

Even if you're not planning on moving away - MIL doesn't know that. Definitely do the old MN favourite of downloading and filling in some emigration forms for Australia or New Zealand or Outer Timbuktu, and leave them somewhere that if MIL is poking aound where she shouldn't be, she'll find them... Then she either has to worry that you're going or admit that she has been nosing around, which gives you another reason to explode at her again.

YOu could also leave some estate agent/house/job details out more easily findable for somewhere a good long drive away just to get her worrying that you're thinking of moving

As for your eldest niece - if it comes up again about Santa, I'd tell your dd that there is a very good reason that dn said that to her - it's because dn is not only in the naughty book but she's in the really really naughty horrible child book so Santa doesn't reward her like he rewards good children. One of the horrible things that she does to deserve to be in the really really naughty book is tell little children that there's no Santa, in order to ruin their christmas (along with trashing her playroom and other mean stuff by the sound of her!) and spoil the spirit of christmas for everyone - and the fact she knows that she is spoiling it shows how horrible she is to her. and so on... Accidentally letting slip about Santa and being upset at doing so is one thing - very different to do it on purpose so she deserves the criticism!