Is DSD being groomed, AIBU to get involved?

[Thewheelsonthebusgoround]

A wee bit of background. DSD is 15, I’m married to her dad and been with him for 5years, I wasn’t the OW, he split with DSDs mum two years before we met. I don’t have the closest relationship to her, it’s got better over recent years but we’re close.

She’s on Instagram with an open profile. She posts some pics that leave little to the imagination, shots of her just in bra and pants, up her skirt, lots of tongue and wet lips, you get the idea. Her dad is aware and has told her he doesn’t like it.

Anyway recently there’s been lots of comments from one younger man. He has a closed profile and I have a gut feeling he’s much older. Just from what he says and how he comments on everything with gushing complements. I’m worried she’s being groomed. She’s ignoring every single internet safety advice.

I’ve told her dad and he’s so Disney he won’t say a word to her!!

What would you do? I’ve tried and tried getting her dad to say something and I don’t have a close enough relationship to be comfortable having the conversation!

I’d set up a fake profile and I would add the suspect profile and try engage him in conversation to see what you’re dealing with

Do you know her mother ? Would you be able to tell her ?
Failing that I would consider speaking to her school.

I would speak to her school and to Childline.

And I'd go ballistic at her dad, too.

Oh thats scary, but what is it with these girls??

Difficult to intervene as step mum, but l would flag it up with her mum and really drive home the risks to DH......he needs to man up and be a father, stop her posting semi naked shots and really scare her with the possibilities.

If that were my DD my DH would remove phone/ipad indefinately and ground her.

The fake profile thing is a good one, I could pose as a young girl. Is that wrong? He may worry why I haven’t got any followers.

School is a good one. I’m not close to her mum who didn’t take kindly to me coming into the scene even though it was 2 years post split.

IF she was my DD it would be very different. I would confiscate her phone until she observed internet safety.

I would start by reporting her profile to Instagram given that some of the images you describe are child pornography.

Underwear pic and up skirt? Is this for real? And her dad is fine with that?

I would start by reporting her profile to Instagram given that some of the images you describe are child pornography

Yes- I’m amazed that can be allowed

Really? Are they classed as child porn? She has her underwear on although they are very suggestive.

He’s not fine with it, he’s just very Disney and won’t rock the boat at all!! Infuriating.

From what I understand of grooming is that they look for a vunerable "in", such as being lonely, unhappy at home, angry at parents and some such stuff. Then comes the "understanding" and wanting to help, followed by manipulation. Getting them stuff such as robux or game credits, and being the only one who understands. Then the isolating stuff starts.

Tell her Mother regardless of your relationship with her. With a bit of luck she will have more cop on than your Dh and can deal with it. I can't believe your Dh has done nothing.

Really? Are they classed as child porn? She has her underwear on although they are very suggestive.

Yep, and technically speaking she could also be said to be committing an offence herself my taking and sharing the pictures. They are indecent images of someone under the age of 18.

YANBU

I’ve reported the pictures. Thank you.

wtaf!!!

I, as one of the parents would remove everything except the bed she sleeps in. "Underwear, tongue and wet lips"....!!!!

She would not see this side of this summer if she were mine.

What parent(s) do not take severe action over this shit!!

I've reported your post Lolly. However you might define this behaviour, we're discussing someone underage here.

She is very aware of what she’s doing. I’m appalled as at her age I was nowhere near as aware of sexualisation or the opposite sex. She looks much older in some shots, but others looks exactly what she is, a year 10 trying to be a grown up!

@LollyHolly24 WOW

She won't understand the full impact of her actions at 15, she is still a child. (I have a 15yo who bristles at that, but it's true)

How long has this been going on? Where did she get the ideas from? It's probably going to be very difficult to quash this if her parents don't do anything - and even if they do, unfortunately. Good on you for trying though.