Would you let your 15 year old go on a day trip to London alone?

[Comefromaway]

Just before he broke up for half term I had a phone call from ds’s school. His head of year was very concerned because he’d told a member of staff that he was planning to spend his birthday money going to London on a train to watch a West End show!

I of course made all the right noises, promised to speak to him. Explained that we were actually planning a family West End trip and we go approx once or twice a year. The head of year said he’d told her he’d been in London alone before and they were concerned. I assured her that had never been the case. (Turned our he meant last year when dd and dh went to get sushi, I went to a jacket potato place and he went to Burger King in Leicester Square and we met up 15 mins later outside the Lego shop.

So I spoke to ds and it turns out he was serious. He said yes I was going to tell you. I’ve done the maths worked out how much the train and tube will cost I looked up the price of tickets for the Saturday matinee and I have enough left over for lunch at Bella in Leicester Square at 12.30 before the show starts at 2.30. I was quite impressed to be honest. However I pointed out that pretty much all West End theatres have a no unaccompanied children under 16 policy (and he looks young for his age)

But AIBU to think there are worse things a 15 year old could plan? The school was treating going to London like it was Syria or somewhere!

The upshot is that he is going to post phone his trip until after his 16th birthday next year!

Our group of four got completely lost ... we were 15-16 at the time - stupid bloody woman!

My kids have always been allowed to go off in groups during school trips, from early teens. The shocking thing here is not that you were allowed to go off but that a group of normally intelligent 15-16 year olds couldn't find their way or ask for directions.

This debate is very British - in other European countries I don't think anyone would question the ability of a 15 year old to catch a train to a city in the daytime, watch a show and return home in time for bed.

For another thing central London is chock full of sign posts and You Are Here maps. They are everywhere.

I recall going up to London with my friend, and no adults, from the age of 11 or 12. It was a 20 minute train ride to get there. We used to ride around on the tube or look at the parks. None of our parents seemd to mind. It WAS a long time ago. Has London got more dodgy in the last 40 years?

If he's a responsible 15 year old, which he sounds like, he should be fine. Might be better if he went with a friend though.

Mind you, I also used to take my little sister to primary school by 2 buses from the age of about 9.

If the school didn't phone you, your son had gone without your knowledge and got into some difficulty the school would have been pilloried for lack of care. They really can't win!

School safeguarding lead was having a quiet day 🙄

Sounds as thought OP’s DS was getting all the figures together to show his parents and then getting on with it. I’m pretty sure @onthenaughtystepagain this is one of the (very few) occasions no one would have blamed the school if he had gone. As a teacher you hear a lot of stories about things students are going to do (and never do!)

I know I’m very late to this thread but the school being concerned was very strange. Totally normal for a 16 year old to get a train to London and back imo

15*

"The upshot is that he is going to post phone his trip until after his 16th birthday next year!" Great compromise.

On the whole going into London without parents is a pretty normal thing for kids his age to do around here but I can accept that the 170miles away would make a difference, and the late night trains often have (some) very drunk people on.

On another occasion (perhaps as a 15th birthday treat if it can be managed) go into London with him, split up and do your own stuff all day and then meet up to go to the theatre / cinema / musical with him in the evening before travelling back with him on the late night train.

Your son sounds great.

I think possibly they're misapplying guidance about the county lines drug trafficking stuff that came out where kids having lots of money and travelling to London alone were noted as significant warning signs.

He sounds like a great, sensible lad! Great way to spend his money - he will have really happy memories of the trip. As a mum I'd be happier if he was going with a friend (as he is doing) and that they stick together, take a phone and check in with you. I hope he really enjoys his day out!

School DSL here. I wouldn't be overly concerned if this was reported to me. In the scheme of things I deal with this would definitely not be a priority! I would however ask the DC's Form Tutor to make a quick call home when they got a minute, just to check that parents were aware of their DC's plans. A sensible 15 year old going to London with their parents full knowledge and permission and a clear plan to keep themselves safe is not an issue for us as a school, it's entirely the parents call. BUT a 15 year old planning to travel to London alone without parents knowledge or permission is a legitimate concern and we would, quite rightly, be hauled over the coals if we didn't check it out and something happened.

Over the years we've had a number of incidents where kids have travelled or been planning to travel to other cities due to involvement in county lines criminal exploitation, to meet up with strangers they've spoken to online, or to visit family members who are supposed to be prevented from seeing them by a court order. They will all have had seemingly innocent explanations for why they were going alone and fortunately due to school staff erring on the side of caution not one of them actually came to harm.

My ds aged 11 went a 2 hour train journey on his own for a football match. My dd met him at the station the other end and took him to the football. Put him on the train home and I met him at the station. Can't see why a 15 year old would be incapable of going to London by themselves.

@Comefromaway, did he make it in the end? Looks like the postponed trip must have crashed straight into the pandemic! 🤦🏻‍♀️
I hope your organised, theatre lover is by now off to a fabulous drama course in September.

Wow, just been reading this old thread.

Well, yes, the postponed planned trip was scuppered by covid. But we went to see the show in Manchester and via a theatre group workshop he was then invited to go and sit in the pit and shadow the keyboard player.

I bought him tickets for the London production for his 18th birthday last year. He then, via a friend of a friend, got an invite to go and sit in the pit of the London production so he travelled down alone last summer and had a whale of a time.

Last year he performed with NYMT, he started conservatoire last September and is currently beginning to get work playing keyboard for various amateur shows.

BOM is still his absolute favourite show.

@Comefromaway Best update ever! How lovely. I've ended up in telly rather than theatre but I remember your son, as described in your original post, being so relatable to teen me, who would have had A Theatre Plan!

My daughter (16) is going to London with a group of friends ( 4 of them) to see a gig. Train there and back. The younger one ( 13 ) wants to go. I know I am overprotective but the whole thing fills me with dread. I can't go and they wouldn't want me to anyway. Any thoughts. Am I being crap?

I did this several times with a friend when I was 15

One of my nieces travelled from Croydon to Bristol on her own to visit a friend at 15, a journey that involved bus, train, tube and then another train. She's very bright and resourceful, but her dad wasn't best pleased when he found out (parents are separated).

I'm sure your son would be fine, OP.

Sorry, didn't spot the zombie thread!

Ha ha, don’t worry, he’s 19 now and travels all over the country watching and performing!

My dd would go to London on the train (1 hour away) with a friend or two from the age of 12. However I would I stipulate for her to be home by 6pm.

I think we need to allow our children to develop their independence gradually and not to deep end them age 18.