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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you let your 15 year old go on a day trip to London alone?

222 replies

Comefromaway · 24/02/2019 20:31

Just before he broke up for half term I had a phone call from ds’s school. His head of year was very concerned because he’d told a member of staff that he was planning to spend his birthday money going to London on a train to watch a West End show!

I of course made all the right noises, promised to speak to him. Explained that we were actually planning a family West End trip and we go approx once or twice a year. The head of year said he’d told her he’d been in London alone before and they were concerned. I assured her that had never been the case. (Turned our he meant last year when dd and dh went to get sushi, I went to a jacket potato place and he went to Burger King in Leicester Square and we met up 15 mins later outside the Lego shop.

So I spoke to ds and it turns out he was serious. He said yes I was going to tell you. I’ve done the maths worked out how much the train and tube will cost I looked up the price of tickets for the Saturday matinee and I have enough left over for lunch at Bella in Leicester Square at 12.30 before the show starts at 2.30. I was quite impressed to be honest. However I pointed out that pretty much all West End theatres have a no unaccompanied children under 16 policy (and he looks young for his age)

But AIBU to think there are worse things a 15 year old could plan? The school was treating going to London like it was Syria or somewhere!

The upshot is that he is going to post phone his trip until after his 16th birthday next year!

OP posts:
Original poster
Comefromaway · 25/02/2019 10:41

Why don't you offer to pay for your ds to take a friend with him as a birthday treat?

At almost £90 per ticket that ain’t happening I’m afraid.

OP posts:
Clavinova · 25/02/2019 10:52

He's certainly matured in the last year - from the Lego Shop to The Book of Mormon. Grin

theemmadilemma · 25/02/2019 10:53

I regularly traveled into London alone from SE (around an 1 hour or so) from 14 onwards.

He sounds smart and sensible.

Original poster
Comefromaway · 25/02/2019 10:55

We still always visit the Lego shop. He has quite a Star Wars Lego collection including a highly coveted Death Star. I don't think you ever really grow out of Lego.

Then a trip to Foyles, Musicroom.com and the Yamaha instrument shops are a must.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 25/02/2019 11:00

He's certainly matured in the last year - from the Lego Shop to The Book of Mormon because no adults like lego?? Who do yo u think is doing those massive 4 billion piece ones that cost hundreds??

millythepink · 25/02/2019 11:00

Don't have a problem with 15 yr old DD catching train to London but it's something she does with friends. Recently she was planning a trip to Paris, had researched the trains, found a decent AirBnB, figured out the Metro. But in the end I had to say no, but have agreed she can go when she is 16. I'm so pleased she is so intrepid and resourceful because I so wasn't at her age.

Original poster
Comefromaway · 25/02/2019 11:02

Most the people in there are adults/tourists taking pictures of themselves sitting on the lego tube train or by that fantastic light up plan of London on the stair wall.

OP posts:
DolorestheNewt · 25/02/2019 11:05

Well done, OP, you raised a sensible one. My DS, same age as yours, would never think through the pricing and timetable in the same way as yours.

Clavinova · 25/02/2019 11:10

My dc still like Lego (although ds1 is probably just amusing ds2) - and they play musical instruments (hence the user name) - but they wouldn't be going to see The Book of Mormon 170 miles away on their own at just 15.

And you've still no idea why the school contacted you??

At least he wasn't planning to see The Full Monty.

Clavinova · 25/02/2019 11:12

He's certainly matured in the last year - from the Lego Shop to The Book of Mormon

It was a joke!

waterrat · 25/02/2019 11:14

honestly I am truly worried for the state of this world if adults think a 15 year old can't do a day trip on their own. sweet jesus - as everyone here says - London is full of 15 year olds who live there ! I went to secondary school in central London and managed to travel unaided around London from age 11! I think at the age of about 12 I was going into town - central London - to go shopping at weekends with friends.

When I was 15 I went to Glastonbury on my own ! as did many of my friends - there were no mobile phones either!

This is why people have mental breakdowns when they go to university.

Clavinova · 25/02/2019 11:15

SleepingStandingUp
You obviously don't know much about the Book of Mormon - the op was too embarrassed to tell us what show he was going to see at first.

Clavinova · 25/02/2019 11:17

there were no mobile phones either!

Indeed - you couldn't arrange to meet up with strangers online.

dairymilkmonster · 25/02/2019 11:18

Depends where you live, but I used to occasionally go to london by train from bath with a friend from age 15. To museums, theatre. Late 1990s. I was sensible and boringly responsible.
Think probably an over reaction by school.

SleepingStandingUp · 25/02/2019 11:24

You obviously don't know much about the Book of Mormon actually very true. I only meant that the Lego Shop is hardly for kids only, lots of adults adore Lego

outpinked · 25/02/2019 11:25

My Dad moved to london when I was 8 so I split my time between Yorkshire and London growing up. I spent a fair few days out alone from about 14. It’s not a scary place really, if he’s comfortable navigating his way around then I can’t see an issue and can’t see why this would be a concern to the school either.

SleepingStandingUp · 25/02/2019 11:28

London is full of 15 year olds who live there your point being what? It isn't that LONDON is inappropriate, it's that it's 170 miles away.

I'd let DS go to Birmingham at thst age but I wouldn't let him go to Glasgow or London.

Given that OP didn't say he had a gf, there's a chance he had arranged to meet someone off the Internet who MIGHT be a 15 Yr old girl or boy or who might have been 30 and looking for a kid to abuse. It isn't unreasonable to consider thst or to acknowledge tbat I'd have found it much harder to be groomed by a stranger back in 1996 than you would today

Clavinova · 25/02/2019 11:30

Depends where you live, but I used to occasionally go to london by train from bath with a friend from age 15.

Why do posters keep giving anecdotes about travelling with friends?

This boy planed to go on his own - 170 miles away - with a somewhat unusual itinerary - and his parents knew nothing about it when the school phoned.

My ds1 has been travelling into London during the day since the age of 14 - with friends.

Clavinova · 25/02/2019 11:32

My ds1 has been travelling into London during the day since the age of 14 - with friends.
And he still involves me with the arrangements aged 16 now.

Clavinova · 25/02/2019 11:33

I realise I have given my own anecdote before someone mentions it. Smile

domton · 25/02/2019 11:39

Doesn't it depend? Where I live, young people hardly ever use public transport because it's apalling. Most will have been to smallish towns, possibly a few cities for day trips with friends and family etc. Hardly any of the 15 year old I know would be able too navigate the tube etc., simply because it's not in their experience. The amount of people alone would be a shock! My nephew is 12, 13 this year and like most of his mates had only been on a train a few times, and it would take a bus and a train to get to the nearest city. Kids in London may use the tube at this age, but there's no way at all him or his mates would manage to get to the city. No way at all.

If however your 15 year old has been off and on buses etc for years, is used to large crowded cities then why not?

Original poster
Comefromaway · 25/02/2019 11:40

I was not embarrased about the Book of Mormon. I answered a previous poster's question with a pun (Gander/Uganda) which my username also refers to.

I am very aware of the Breck Bednar case. I saw a documentary a few years ago. It involved online gaming and secrecy and a boy who had sophisitcated computer equipment in his bedroom away from family areas.

OP posts:
Clavinova · 25/02/2019 11:52

You also said, Hmm - well let’s just say that his choice of show is not the most appropriate

Perhaps your son's teachers also thought the show wasn't the most appropriate.

It involved online gaming and secrecy and a boy who had sophisticated computer equipment in his bedroom away from family areas

How would your son's teachers know what computer set-up he has at home?

flyingplum · 25/02/2019 11:55

I think I did much worse at 15. We went to see Green Day at Wembley Arena, missed the last train home (back to Richmond, where my friend's dad was due to pick us up), ended up getting multiple night buses across London via Hammersmith, a little tipsy from contraband vodka in a 2L coke bottle, and finally got picked up in Kingston by said friend's dad at something like 2am. I don't think I told my mum until about 10 years later.