to be aggrieved that I have not been to the loo unharassed for FORTY EIGHT DAYS.

[jaynehater]

Yes. I have counted. If the little buggers don't turn off their 'loo-dar', I'm going to start soiling myself. Tena Lady, here we come.

Oh you meant complete SILENCE? I do get that 4 times out of 5 I reckon. Because I'm upstairs and they're downstairs.

single storey house = constipation?

Taht's cheating, our loo is downstairs which doesnt help a bit buts its an extension on an old cottage so cant be helped

cant recall it being any better in last house where we had two bathrooms. But I ahted that as the door was narrow and I had actual nightmares about getting fat and stuck in the door for ever and ever...

Peachy goes off on a bizarre tangent...

single story house = being able to hear your children at all times = they don't get enough freedom, i.e. you don't get enough peace

lol at fat nightmare

it was tiny and it led directly into the kitchen (soo hygienic), so you'd go- kitchen, cake- bathroom- argghhhhhh

and it was a little sliding door that fell off regularly so the ktichen became the bathroom

fab

Tena lady it is, then.

Again, Peachy, you have my life - how often I remember the days of stirring something healthgiving and vitamin-ridden while standing a mere 3 feet from my children in the bath. Kitchen, bathroom , blah!!!

spoooooooky

better call whatserface who used to be on Blu peter

Yvette something?

Oh look its ar Orb!

only 48 days I can count in years!!!!

Mummmmy .... It's five to blooming midnight and she's done it again. I'm serious, this is scarring me.

13 years so far .......

Does it ever end?

'muuum'
'im on the toilet,im not talking to you'
'yes but do you know where my xyz is'
'......'
'is it in the kitchen/bedroom/car?'
'......'
cue crying as child pulls wardrobe over on self looking for xyz that they hadnt even noticed was missing until your butt cheeks settled on the toilet seat

Do you know the worst of it? If I walk in on my seven year old she quotes me back at myself and says 'Privacy, Mummy?'

It's good for my glutes, coz I have to buttock clench for about three minutes to prevent inappropriate language.

LOL, this must be the funniest thing i have read.

I dont mind them winging when i am on the toilet, its when everthing goes quiet cause they are up to something.

mrsyoshi, that could be a thread unto itself, right there. "What have they done when they're quiet". If I start, I won't stop. x.

yes, silence, is a baaaaad thing!

washing hands becomes a flood in bathroom/bedroom/playroom...

little one needs the toilet, but can use the potty... but it's demeaning dahling... and she might try to empty it herself!

older one then has to run downstairs starkers, to use the other loo and no paper...

hubby is sitting in bedroom humming and tutting, becuase he needs to go...

so no, silence is really bad!

Addendum:

DD2 has just walked silently into bathroom where DH was (revoltingly) peeing away with the door open.

This may break the door-open policy however:

"Daddy, is that a sort of blanket for your willy?"

No, darling, it's daddy's foreskin, and if you see another one before you're 21 daddy will have a heart attack.

The future's bleak.

We can't have locks on our bathroom door so there is no hope of any peace. DS1 always follows me to the loo or shower. DS3 has tried (in the past- met with a shriek from me) to do the wiping business. DS2 follows me hassling me about xmas lists or something.

I wait until I think ds1 is asleep, sneak up there, as soon as I sit down door lies open and ds1, ot of bed is there grinning like a maniac.

Last time I had a bath (usually shower) all 3 followed me and ds2 was asking where my willy was. Which is why I usually shower - at least I can hide behind the shower cubicle door.

it's the same when on the telephone - really important things are needed, everyone argues, everyone needs to ask something - ahhhhh!!!

The phone, the loo, is it some sort of magnetism? How do they know? They leave you alone for hours beforehand though, like when you need to get everyone in the car as a matter of urgency - where are they then? Scattered, that's where.

Even having a lock doesn't help because they rattle the door. My youngest are 8 now so it's not an issue but I remember when it was particularly with babies and toddlers.

My sister says as soon as she calls me her twins cause trouble.

I didn't/don't mind so much in the house it's when we're in a public loo that it bothers me

'Mummy, what are you weeing out of your bottom?'

'You have a bagina not a willy like me'

He announces that 'this toilet is filthy what are we gunna do?'

Yes, you've probably seen me, I'm the one with the very red face washing my hands...

oh god, yeah and also "mummy are you going to do a poo ? (er, no, not here)
Mummy "why is there a string hanging out of you?"
At the top of his little voice so the whole of the row of cubicles can hear and are sniggering secretly.