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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this cafe needs to rethink their message to customers?

708 replies

GunpowderGelatine · 22/02/2019 23:37

Seen this on Facebook today from a cafe -

So we are a dog friendly cafe which is completely acceptable by health and safety as long as the dogs don’t cook your food or enter the kitchen 😡 so don’t give us a hard time if you don’t like dogs because we like dogs better than humans - note don’t give Vicky a hard time over happy dogs because Vicky will always defend the dogs

Now I have a bit of a fear of dogs and wouldn't expect to see one in a cafe and I'd be a bit pissed off if I paid good money for food and drink only to be bollocked by "Vicky" if I didn't like a dog in my face Hmm AIBU to think it's not a good message to tell your paying customers that they come second to another species?

OP posts:
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Roussette · 23/02/2019 09:27

I just don't know why Vicki has to be so aggressive. It alienates people, dog owners or not.

Imagine if a cafe that didn't allow dogs said 'if you imagine you are bringing in your hairy smelly mutt to my cafe, you can eff off, my bitch fairy is coming out"
There'd be an outcry
Yet Vicki can shame and shout about non dog owners.

LunafortJest · 23/02/2019 09:28

@Willow2017 It looks nothing like a pitbull? That is nonsense. If it didn't, so many people wouldn't confuse them. And I never said 'good looking' dogs can't be dangerous. It would appear you are clueless.

Fiveredbricks · 23/02/2019 09:29

@woollyheart most in the UK are dog friendly 🤨 even bloody travelodge!

You just have to ask them. Most dont offer open policies as they prefer not to be inundated and prefer people to assume they're not willing to accept them.

Roussette · 23/02/2019 09:30

I presume (hope) that hotels that do take dogs in their hotel rooms keep those rooms for just owners with dogs and not everyone. We catch the car ferries, there are dog specific rooms that aren't given to anyone without a dog.

BlimeyCalmDown · 23/02/2019 09:30

YABU

SoSaidTheHorse · 23/02/2019 09:31

English bull terriers have a very distinctive 'egg shaped' head that pitbulls do not. They really don't look alike, but then many/most people couldn't pick a pitbull out in an identity parade.

ZenNudist · 23/02/2019 09:31

Spotted gap in the market for a dog cafe. Just dont go.

Round here we have cat cafes where they own the cats and customers get to stroke them.

LunafortJest · 23/02/2019 09:31

"I just don't know why Vicki has to be so aggressive."
Agreed. But reading through this thread shows it is not an isolated thing, it appears to be a common thing with dog owners on here to be arrogant, aggressive and hostile.

Jaggypinecone · 23/02/2019 09:32

I wouldn’t go on the principle that Vicky began her message with the word ‘so’. Wink

But seriously, whilst I don’t mind we’ll behaved dogs I can’t stand the fur baby brigade and would know to avoid this place. However it’s Vicky’s place and I defend her right to market it in anyway she sees fit. Different strokes for different folks n all that

woollyheart · 23/02/2019 09:32

In the town that I live in, it's about 50/50. Well-behaved dogs are welcomed in all the independent cafes. But not in the rest - which happen to be all chains.

Lots of dogs in the pubs too. Our dog loved the pub. I didn't so much. But we went to give the dog a treat!

SoupDragon · 23/02/2019 09:33

There's nothing wrong with a dog friendly cafe but that message makes them sound like a bunch of twats. And Vicky sounds like a loose cannon.

There are better ways to have got the message across.

SerenDippitty · 23/02/2019 09:35

You are right about dog friendly hotels being rare in the UK.

They aren’t that rare. It’s just that if you aren’t a dog owner you probably don’t ask.

Roussette · 23/02/2019 09:36

So do hotels in the UK keep rooms just for the dog owners? They must do surely....

woollyheart · 23/02/2019 09:36

Ah @Fiveredbricks
Useful to know!
I haven't driven around the UK so much. And I've paid ridiculous prices for dog friendly places.

SoSaidTheHorse · 23/02/2019 09:37

I do think that Vicki's messsge could have been worded differently but I'm sure that she's tired of people complaining that there are dogs in her cafe when it makes a point of being actively dog friendly and when she wants to attract dog owners complete with canines.

Personally speaking I care about all species and I do care about people but overall I prefer animals and looking at the news and all of the horrors, atrocities and abuse that humans commit I have good cause. Also as another poster said working in customer service can also have that effect.

SerenDippitty · 23/02/2019 09:38

I presume (hope) that hotels that do take dogs in their hotel rooms keep those rooms for just owners with dogs and not everyone. We catch the car ferries, there are dog specific rooms that aren't given to anyone without a dog.

In many cases they have separate annexes for dog owners.

woollyheart · 23/02/2019 09:38

I'm certain that they do keep specific rooms for dogs. Same as smokers. Or are all hotels no smoking these days?

contrary13 · 23/02/2019 09:40

"... A nice collie or golden retriever, attractive looking dogs who aren't dangerous would be ok. But dogs like pitbulls are meant to be guard dogs so should be at home guarding the house while you're out."

Hmm Luna, you do know that "nice collie[s]" and "attractive looking dogs" are... well... dogs, right? They have the same jaw structure and sharp pointy teeth as "dogs like pitbulls" (which that gorgeous pup isn't; being a bull terrior, an' all) do. They have the same reactions to noise, stress, intruders, children poking them as the dogs you seem to think should be guarding their owners properties.

Collies, in particular, are classed as working dogs - they're meant to herd cattle or sheep, not simply to sit anywhere looking pretty. They have intelligent brains and, in my experience, get very bored/hyper, very quickly. Not to mention that most of the golden retrievers I've met, get very grumpy as they age. Probably because they're annoyed by simply being coo'd over as "attractive" and "gorgeous" by shallow people who don't understand how a dog's brain actually works... The ones I know/have met on walks... I'm incredibly wary of their personal bubble and their sharp, pointy teeth. One of them is stick-possessive, to the point where my mother's GSD glanced in the direction of the stick in his mouth... and the GR snarled and slathered as though he thought he were auditioning for the part of a werewolf in a horror movie. I actually remember wondering if his eyes were going to turn red, too, at one point. His doting owners won't leave him anywhere - he's their surrogate child and they confess that he's "horribly spoilt". But he's "attractive", in your estimation, so therefore cannot possibly be vicious... right?!

I grew up around dogs - big dogs and little dogs. GSDs who you'd class as being expected to be left at home, guarding my parents home... except, they also get very bored, very quickly and would have seized upon the opportunity to destroy my parents belongings (weirdly, they didn't destroy my toys - although my cute little lab/whippet cross once worked out that if she stood on her head and angled her arse over my toybox, she could crap in it! She also became very grumpy as she aged, and was very adept at giving warning bites when she got tired of my company). Fortunately, she died before I had children - because I wouldn't have trusted her around a toddler at all. My parents GSDs, on the other hand, were both gentle and very protective of me as I grew up. My own GSD, who was elderly and arthritic when my daughter was a baby, used to sleep by her cot at night and follow her around as she learned how to crawl/toddle. He became my baby's dog, essentially. The cross between my head-standing crossbreed and my GSD, though? Incredibly grumpy. Didn't leave him alone with my daughter for even one microsecond. Chances are, he would have bitten her (he had a few health problems, but was "gorgeous" according to shallow opinions, yet guarded my home like a trooper! Hated the postman, for example, and once saw off someone who was trying to unlock the front door in the middle of the night, by pretending to be much bigger than he actually was, through mimicking a rottweiler's snarl...). My elderly GSD? The one who ought to have been guarding my home? Because even though he was beautiful, he was nothing more than a "guard dog"? Snoring beside my baby's cot. I don't think he was even aware that we had a few policemen in the house, to be honest. Totally oblivious and left the guard dog behaviour to the "attractive" little dog with the grumpy streak...

I now have a retired working gun dog (springer) and a Kokoni (essentially a Greek mix-of-who-knows-what). Both get very bored, very quickly, because they're used to being worked - but both are "attractive" so draw a lot of (often unwanted) attention from strangers. As their owner, it annoys me when I'm trying to train them and have to fend random strangers away from touching them as they sit beside me, or children attempt to play with them as we're working on recall or retrieving. My little dog adores children... but suffers from Small Dog Syndrome, so jumps in an effort to look bigger than she actually is. Many children love this... but their parents (understandably) don't. I'm not a fan of it, either, but I'm expected to have a "cute" little dog who is impeccably trained at all times, even though their badly trained offspring are waving sweets and balls right in front of her, and usually screeching at the top of their lungs... My springer isn't a fan of children, because whilst my son was at primary school, and he was sat patiently by my side outside of the school gates... badly trained offspring of oblivious parents/minders would attach themselves about his neck like screechy limpets. His ears and the ringlets of fur cascading down his chest, were apparently just too much for them to resist... I had to change our afternoon walk's routine simply to avoid taking him after a few weeks of this constant "oh, he's so cute!!!" reaction to his general gorgeousness - because I was very aware that, although his training is impeccable, he is but a dog... and the only child he actually likes? Is my son. Who loved being able to walk with his dog home in an afternoon (and I learned a lot about his days as he rambled happily away to his dog on the walk home). They guard my property, they protect my family... but technically, by the above standards of dog, they're "attractive" and therefore simply window-dressing. They're not meant to behave like dogs at all, I guess, just look pretty... except I'd not like to be on the receiving end of their pointy teeth if a stranger tried to enter my home in the middle of the day or night. At all.

Because they're dogs.

They behave like all other dogs can, will, do.

Having said all of that... I'd not like to eat in a cafe where there were loads of dogs, either. Or cats. It would make me feel too nauseous to eat or drink anything. I live with both cats and dogs - and they are kept out of my kitchen and away from our food on the table. Even so, I've been seen to pull an offending strand of fur from my food every now and then... because as a PP said: the stuff gets everywhere. Assistance dogs are one thing - guide and hearing dogs, for example - because they lie quietly under tables and you can/do forget they're there. They're trained to repress their natural instincts - but other, ordinary dogs? Aren't. I know for a fact that my little dog would spend the entire time trying to get onto a lap, or shove her body behind my legs... because a situation like that would terrify her. And a frightened dog is a dangerous dog. My spaniel? Would simply look pathetic in the hope of getting some illicit food from whoever (he can be quite greedy). Which would spoil my enjoyment of cake and coffee, and make others feel guilty as they strove to ignore his cliche spaniel eyes... Grin Hmm

Dogs are wonderful, funny, clever creatures... but they're just that. They're animals. And therefore completely unpredictable.

Even if they're absolutely stunning to look at and have been trained to within an inch of their lives...

forestafantastica · 23/02/2019 09:40

That reads to me like they have decided that dog owners are a better market than dog haters and have written up a sign designed to appeal to their chosen demographic. It reads entirely like it's fake sincere marketing blurb.

And it's clearly working as OP who hates dogs now won't go there and complain and put off the demographic they are catering too and the demographic who like that sort of thing will feel supported and flock in large numbers.

Roussette · 23/02/2019 09:41

Well, I've worked in customer facing roles all my life and I cannot equate dogs over humans. There are too many good humans in this world to think they don't deserve to be better than animals

Why couldn't Vicki just put a huge sign on her door saying THIS IS A DOG FRIENDLY CAFE.
It doesnt need the aggression, she sounds like a nutjob

OftenHangry · 23/02/2019 09:43

@LunafortJest yeah... They are so much alike... (sarcasm)

Do you all know what is reported as the most aggressive breed? Dashdung. And I can only confirm. Knew 2 and bloody hel, never would go near that bastards! 😮

Dog isn't the problem. Owner is.

To think this cafe needs to rethink their message to customers?
To think this cafe needs to rethink their message to customers?
m0therofdragons · 23/02/2019 09:44

I'm in the West Country where many of our independent cafes seem to have a dog living there and dogs are welcome in pubs too. Really normal here.

SoSaidTheHorse · 23/02/2019 09:44

Also, your dog is gorgeous, Curious. I'm envious. I love bullies.

contrary13 · 23/02/2019 09:48

My "attractive" and non guard dog at all Hmm dogs. And a chicken. Whom my former gun-dog likes spending time with Shock Confused

To think this cafe needs to rethink their message to customers?
To think this cafe needs to rethink their message to customers?
To think this cafe needs to rethink their message to customers?
katseyes7 · 23/02/2019 09:49

l'd love a dog café. And 'excited' doesn't mean 'out of control', sometimes young dogs just get a bit over exuberant. One of my border collies was as daft as a brush and very excitable when he was young. lf you're not a dog person, then just don't go.
Now a cat café..... no. Wild horses wouldn't get me in there. My best friend is cat daft and l've diplomatically swerved all mentions of going. l wouldn't hurt one, but they're just not for me.

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