To think children do not always come first?

[clairemcnam]

Adults matter too. And their needs and wants also matter.

That’s a beautiful story.

Adults do matter, but not as much as children.

Of course you're not being unreasonable. Everybody matters. Who should come first is governed by ongoing priorities and obligations.

Of course they do.
What made you think their needs and wants didn’t matter?

Not enough information.

If you're talking about who chooses a takeaway, then of course everyone takes a turn and all opinions must be heard. That goes for most family decisions - everyone should count.

There are situations in which someone has to come first, ultimately, though - whether or not to move the family abroad, for example, or leaving a miserable job vs leaving a school where children are settled and close to exams - in those situations, where it's an adult's welfare directly in conflict with a child's, then I think children should absolutely come first.

I am sure sometimes there are specific circumstances when the adults need to come first but in general children should come first

Adults do matter, but not as much as children

Have to disagree with that.

Depends, unless the principle care givers needs are met, it is unlikely he/she will be able to continue to give the care the children require. Serves no purpose if the adult has a break down.

are you a step parent by any chance?

but in general children should come first

Have to disagree with that too.

Adult wants never trump children’s needs. But the opposite is also true, and children’s wants don’t trump adult needs. But in my eyes, children’s needs do trump adult needs.

I know what I want to say but can't articulate it properly so I'm just gonna stay here until someone comes along and says what I'm thinking. Then I can tag and say agreed.
Happens every time.

Carry on.

In my experience, occasionally a whole family's needs have to be prioritised over one individual child. But not adults over children. Of course adults "matter", but children come first.

Interesting. I can see that I'm in the minority here

Can you articulate your view a bit more stevie? I'm interested

Of course adults matter as much as children. But obviously that doesn't mean that you should treat them exactly the same, because children have different needs and abilities to adults.

The needs of the child in the family should always come first. It’s different if you mean wants.

Of course adults matter, but children’s welfare should be prioritised.

There’s been loads of things I haven’t wanted to do, but I have because it was best for my children’s needs.

so if there is only enough money for one person in the house to be fed then the child gets fed.
if the parent has a new girlfriend/boyfriend and wants to spend all their time shagging then the child comes first.
if the child has reading homework and the parent wants to play on their phone, the child comes first.

if the parent is ill and the child wants to go to the park, the parent comes first.
etc etc etc

I am not talking about an adults wants to go out drinking coming before a child's needs to be supervised. That is obviously wrong.

Well, what sort of scenario are you talking about claire?

They you go. I'm with stevie and greensleeves

there 🙄

an you articulate your view a bit more stevie? I'm interested

Well, the majority view appears to be that, in the event of a conflict of interest, a child's needs should come above those of an adult. My view is that it should be the other way round.

Yes, but why?