Friend slept with a stag on night out

[HopeDog]

On a night out recently and a friend starting chatting to a group of men on a stag night. She ended up going back to a hotel with, and had sex with the stag.

She thinks she is bu as she is single.

Aibu to think she is wrong?

@ginglinghellsbells yes I see all men as available until they say otherwise. It's just sex and nothing more. No strings attached.

I'm single and can be as loose as I want. I dont know anyone any explanation. It's not her fault he chose to cheat

You can be a loose as you like, and you can shag married men galore without a single qualm... but not without many other people seeing you as a skank for doing so.

@mentallyfacked, no you're the one judging! still judging! I don't expect my friends to view everything in the same way I view it.. And all the ''amoral'' labels, ha! as though the ONLY hurtful thing anybody can do is have consensual sex with an adult who isn't ''theirs''. If one of my friends did that our friendship would certainly survive it because my sense of myself is not so fragile that I choose my friends based on their ''morals'' with me deluding myself that I'm The Judge of Good Morals.

It is ridiculous. Just aim to DO NO HARM. Generally, as a life philosophy. There is no one way of succeeding or failing at that.

My God!
Whatever happened to morals and principles.

Far worse stuff is happening every minute of every day of the week and nobody bats an eyelid.

I have NO interest in casual sex with a man in a relationship but when I think about the fraud, bullying, exclusion, exploitation, aggressiveness, greed, thoughtlessness and selfishness I have seen at my old workplace for example, and none of it would have registered on those same people's own consciences.

People have ZOOMED in on casual sex as though it were some barometre of something a lot more meaningful than it actually is.

It is one behaviour.

Also, as other PPs up thread said, for other people (women) to consider it amoral to have sex with a man who is getting married, that assumes that they place a similar value on the institution of marriage.

I think it's a private 'contract'. It is not down to people who don't revere marriage to tip toe round it as though it were a celebrity in their local pub.

Fuck the girl code.Another patriarchal way to control women.faux camaraderie
girl code is a rehash or good girls don’t..
I don’t adhere to a girl code because it’s made up and it’s reinforces the myth of sisterhood

I wouldn't be thinking bad of her only of the stag. Can't believe people on here saying to de friend her or you should start thinking of her differently. Blimey.

@AldiProsecco but what if it results in destroying a family? Does it really not concern you about that?

It is still the mans fault for cheating however I could play no part in destroying a relationship or a family.

Both low morals.

I 'had' a friend like this, her need for male attention no matter who it came from was just painful, married men, men whom she had no intention of dating but kept them hanging on, especially if they bought her gifts, she'd keep in contact with old boyfriends then sleep with them when they were with somebody else. One wife attempted suicide when her husband left her for the 'friend', she still carried on....

Yes, the men were culpable but she got a kick out of it. She loved to think they would jeopardise wives, girlfriends and families to be with her and she believed that meant she was special.

One part of me wanted to understand what drove her but my lack of respect took over and I no longer see her.

The man did the crime but the woman is definitely the accomplice.

Both totally in the wrong. Joint responsibility.

"Women don't owe women anything just for being women"

I only hope a friend of the bride's or stags finds out and tells the bride.

I'm personally wondering if the stag has kids with the bride to be. Whole new level of immorality, there on his part.

Your friend being single does not excuse her behaviour also.

My ex best friend had a liason going on with a man about to have an arranged marriage. I made my feelings very clear on that. Even worse it was a work colleague, if liasons with work colleagues don't work out then the fall out is far far worse.
If your friend is blabbering about it then it's not 'none of your business' and to be honest blabbering about it makes her really very low class and vulgar.
Knowingly going with married men and stags are no nos and off limits.
Ditch her, ugh.

Aldi, the thread is titled and about that very subject.

Start a thread about all the other atrocities you feel relevant then (that of course you don't make judgement in, because that would make you a hypocrite).

have I said it's the worst thing going on in the world? Nope

You made incorrect assumptions based on my values as a human, that I somehow judge single mothers (when I am one).

I judge people on the actions they display, not their background, age, race, income or sex.

So, because there are other vile things happening in this world, this equally vile one doesn't matter? It's a nasty thing to do and I'll happily judge someone for doing it.

Girl code,if it were a movie it’d be on hallmark channel with horrid syrupy moral overtones

Still no OP, and on everyone argues...

“I'm single and can be as loose as I want. I dont know anyone any explanation. It's not her fault he chose to cheat🙄”

Most people in your position would simply choose someone else in exactly the same position as themselves though. No-one could judge that. Well, a few people would but they’re probably older and more traditional. I certainly wouldn’t. Have done it myself. This is entirely different. One person was single, the other wasn’t.

Have as much sex as you like with another single, consenting adult, why should anyone care or pass judgement on that? There is something downright disgusting and devoid of all morals about someone single, man or woman, actually CHOOSING to pass over someone who they believe to be single for a person they KNOW to be in a serious relationship.

I mean, saying no to, or not pursuing someone in that situation is what separates us from animals, quite frankly.

Girl code is loathsome, I prefer female solidarity.

I say immorality on his part btw as I'm guessing she doesn't know or wasn't told of he had kids or not,otherwise she's incredulously immoral.
I would have serious problems being friends with someone with such low morals and the friendship would not last long if I could be friends with someone like that at all.

Yuk. Not my kinda woman. But mostly, the bloke is a shithead. Poor bride.

And what is wrong with women arguing?or that’s against girl code to be opinionated
It’s like on mn when women vociferously disagree it’s dismissed as bitchfest

Crap of both of them. Really shitty crap of him. Sorry for language.

"You don't want to get a bad rep by association" ?!? Really? I thought ideas like that died out with my grandmother's generation.

I mean, saying no to, or not pursuing someone in that situation is what separates us from animals, quite frankly.

There is something a bit 'rutting Jack Russell' about not being able to hold yourself back and make a slightly better choice, isn't there?!

What does AIBU mean? And BU?

I have single friends male & female who have sex they don’t demand a c.v and proof of singledom prior to getting jiggy