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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask at what age you stopped regularly hugging/cuddling your children?

142 replies

M3lon · 21/02/2019 14:51

I realise this is probably down to the child more than the parent...but I'm terrified I might be running out of hugging time with mine - so please reassure me that even teenagers need a hug sometimes!

OP posts:
BrizzleMint · 21/02/2019 17:04

DS reluctantly agrees to a hug before I go to work. The ones at uni have a hug when they are home. I've always made sure to hug them as I can't remember my parents ever hugging me.

madmother1 · 21/02/2019 17:05

My DS 22 and DD 18 often hug me. My DS more often. I love a hug

Undies1990 · 21/02/2019 17:11

Mine are 19 and 17 ....both still love a hug!

I even sometimes get sent virtual hugs by text while I'm at work which absolutely makes my day ❤️

Sugarplumfairy65 · 21/02/2019 17:16

Mine are in their 30's, I still hug them

m00rfarm · 21/02/2019 17:17

My DS is 17 and still getting cuddles from him

lizmum5 · 21/02/2019 17:20

Mine range from 3-17 and I cuddle with them all Smile

SundayShawl · 21/02/2019 17:21

DSD is nearly 19 and she still plonks herself on my lap for a cuddle when she's home from uni 😂

sequinafortune · 21/02/2019 17:22

I have a cat and a puppy (one very much on their terms, and one is all over me - not an actual dog and cat!!) and even the cat gives me hugs when she deigns to acknowledge I may be more than a food/money dispenser, and when she might require some affection Grinor when she's poorly! My puppy would sit on me quite happily all day long if I let him. I don't think it's down to their genders or ages, just personalities.
I still give my mum hugs when I see her, and sit cuddled up, feet in laps etc if we're visiting and staying there. So, keep up with the cuddles and kisses! Grin

Yogagirl123 · 21/02/2019 17:23

Our boys are 18 and 16 this year, we always hug and kiss before they go out and before they go to bed. Love them so much.

Cheekysquirrel · 21/02/2019 17:24

My 3 year old a lot - obviously.
My nearly 10 year old, rarely. He’s too big now. It feels weird hugging him. I don’t hug my parents either. In fact the only person I hug really is dd and I guess that’ll stop when she’s about 7 or so.

legolimb · 21/02/2019 17:27

I don't remember much affection growing up. Which obviously I was used to.

I made sure to hug and kiss DS as often as possible and tell him I loved him.

He's now 21 and away at uni, but when he was home at Christmas mas we walked back from the local and he grabbed my hand and held it all the way home. Smile

Funnily enough DH parents weren't a huggy pair until DS started flinging his arms around them. They expect a kiss goodbye from us all now. Grin

MakeItAmazing · 21/02/2019 17:29

I still hug my 17 year, 11 month son and my 13 1/2 year old son. Only don't hug my 15 year old daughter option due to irrelevant stuff. I was tearful today and my eldest immediately got up and offered me a hug and he hugs me after every evening meal when he says thank you for it.

EthelHornsby · 21/02/2019 17:30

I haven’t - they’re in their 30s

MulticolourMophead · 21/02/2019 17:30

I have DCs who are late teens. We all still hug and kiss a lot. I hug parents and Dbro quite a bit, too.

StillMedusa · 21/02/2019 17:32

27,26,25 and 22....
Lots of hugs still... and the odd cuddle on my lap after hard days :)
(A little uncomfortable when it's my 6 foot younger son but I'll take it!)

And I hugged my Mum today...I'm 51 and she's 72. Long may it continue!

LadyOfTheFlowers · 21/02/2019 17:33

Still hugging here. Oldest is 13, boy.

PasDevantLesElephants · 21/02/2019 17:35

I hope I'll be able to cuddle mine forever, that said, I can barely stand to be touched by my own mother.....

PutYourShirtOnMartin · 21/02/2019 17:39

I am over 50
I regularly cuddle my dad and kiss him. He can be cooking a meal and I will stand behind him hugging him... I hold my mums hand a lot..she has dementia but only 70. She loves holding my hand and hugging me

pouraglasshalffull · 21/02/2019 17:40

I always hug my parents and tell them I love them and I'm mid twenties. DH does with his parents too, and his sister too actually who is touching 30. I don't think you're ever too old for a hug

weedoogie · 21/02/2019 17:40

I'm a dad of a 25 yr old daughter and two sons (19/23) and I get hugs off them all regularly. Smile

long may it continue...

Original poster
M3lon · 21/02/2019 17:45

Iheart that is such a relief to hear. DD was so anti-being touched or held...sometimes I felt like I literally only got to hold her when she was BFing. It made me so sad at that time...the other babies in our antenatal group were more willing to be held and snuggled by me than my own DD. Sad

I wondered for a long time if I should keep trying for the odd hug...then suddenly one day she was okay with it (probably around 3.5 yo)...and now its her that comes over to me snuggles right in (7yo). I hope I did right, but I also worry I forced it on her.

She still does reverse outward facing hugs with most people...only her absolute best friends plus me and DH get real hugs.

OP posts:
TheFirstOHN · 21/02/2019 17:58

DS1 (19) is visiting from university. The very first thing he did when he came in the door was to come for a hug.

DS2 (16) has ASD and SPD and doesn't enjoy being touched too much, but likes to have one or two hugs a day.

DS3 (14) wants hugs several times a day and is generally quite affectionate & tactile.

DD (14) is all or nothing. She either doesn't want to be hugged at all, or wants to cuddle me for 10 minutes at a time.

Connieston · 21/02/2019 18:06

My boys are 9 and 11 and still sneak into my bed for a cuddle when they're anxious, we say "love you" when saying good bye, saying nnight, or at the end of a phone call. We have a hug most days and sometimes having a bedtime chat I'll stroke their backs as we natter. Touch is really important.

notyetsleepingthrough · 24/02/2019 08:04

It is a culture you are going to create - if you stop so will they

pilates · 24/02/2019 08:10

Agree with pp you are never too old for a cuddle. When they’ve had a bad day at school or something has upset them a cuddle just seems so natural. My 14 DS would probably never admit it though!

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