to ask if you'd let 16yr old DD go away for 3 nights

[pollywolfff]

Dd turns 16 next month and wants to go to Brighton with a friend for 3 nights to celebrate. She has a history of anorexia and suicide attempts that happened last year. Legally, she can move out so is a few nights away harmless? Would you trust your DD to do this?

I think a lot of people are answering the thread title without reading the OP about the DD's mental health issues. I mean, I would have been allowed to go away for several nights with a friend at the age of 16, but at that time I didn't have any particular issues and I was tragically sensible - I was that kid whose presence would reassure other kids' parents that everything would be OK! But that means nothing as far as the OP is concerned because my experience of adolescence was nothing like her daughter's and there are probably some question marks over her ability to cope.

OP - how long has your DD's weight been stable? Is she OK to eat in front of other people, or is she still trying to hide food and make out that she's eaten more than she really has? What would the consequences be if she did decide not to eat for the whole time she was away - is her health still precarious and would it be a big setback in her recovery?

I would also want to know more about what they were planning to do while they're away. PP are right in that there is a lot of diverse and interesting nightlife in a place like Brighton which might be tempting to a pair of unsupervised 16 year olds. I wouldn't rely on the calorie content of alcohol putting her off in the face of possible peer pressure to join in with the drinking.

Finally, it's all very well people telling you that you ought to let her go in order to demonstrate that you trust her, but anorexic kids do often lie and they can be incredibly deceptive, as you'll know. Sometimes, it's wise to not be too trusting unless she's at a stage in her recovery where you feel it's warranted.