to think that I have started to watch the worst film ever made?

[Dohee]

It's called Fences.
It's essentially a monologue from Denzel Washington.

Perhaps it's supposed to be a study on social injustices at the time, but I have endured 40 minutes of it and literally can't take one more second!

Please don't tell me that this is some sort of award winning film and that I'm a bit thick or something?

I'd heard the title before which is why I thought it would be good. 40 minutes in, and literally nothing has happened. Except yer man ranting on and fucking on and fucking on.

I love Denzel usually, and his acting is good, but fuck me, the writing is pure and utter unadulterated shite!

Crikey, this thread is a celebration of ignorance, eh? Just because you don't understand / enjoy a film doesn't make it empirically bad. Fences wasn't my cup of tea either but I can still see it was well-written and incredibly well-acted. Viola Davis was fantastic.

I give you: THE LOBSTER

Hands down the worst film I have ever seen.

It starts well, you think this is going somewhere, it goes weird in the middle then dribbles to nothing. You think I must keep watching there's going to be an amazing twist. Nope, nothing the ending is just dull and really frustrating.

No-one on these threads ever mentions the direness that was The Piano. I don't know whether that's because I'm an uncultured swine who doesn't 'get' it or because it was so awful that everyone's either watched it and blanked the horror out of their minds or loved it because Reasons.

I'm going with Awful Blankness.

At the other end of the scale I also loathed all the Kill Bill shit. Yawnsville.

I do have a perverse desire to watch Fences now though

Yes @peachgreen. I suspected I would be demonstrating my astounding ignorance when I mentioned the film as I suspect it's the type of film more intellectual types enjoy.

Intellect will never be something I can claim.

@Shodan I also tried to watch The Piano and didn't get far either! Clearly I'm a nincompoop.

it is shit and I felt like it didn't finish properly. I don't know what I was expecting but it was just like, oh, is that it?

Funniest comment I heard about Gravity was at an awards ceremony when the presenter (Tina Fey I think) said "Gravity was a film in which George Clooney chose to float away into space and die rather than spend one more minute with a woman his own age"

@Shodan. You'll love Fences or The fucking Fences, whatever it's called. If you get to the end of it, tell me if anything happened?

I also found Fences a disappointment - a little dull & worthy

I haven't seen Fences but I really liked most of the ones being rubbished on here!

@Grimbles Oh hi Mark. So, how's your sex life?

I really hated Fences but I saw it with my friend who loved it. We're both always up for an arty-farty film

Eat Pray Love.

Now that’s a shit film

You really can't fault the acting in Fences. It's just the endless fucking monologue going on and fucking on and fucking on...................... And just when you think the scene will change? Nope. Back to the going on and on and on and fucking bastarding on and on and on!

It's like you read something an amateur has written. They've spent 10 chapters saying the same thing over and over, that one cleverly scripted scene could have captured in 30 seconds.

Just not my cup of tea. Or the 10 cups I had trying to focus.

I agree with pp that Vanilla Sky is the worst film ever made (that i have personally watched anyway). Although a close second for me is Lost in Translation. Love Bill Murray but jeez that was a dull film.

Dohee it's a deal.

As it happens I now have a couple of days with no kids and no obligations to speak of so I'm going to earmark some of that for Fences.

If I last less than 40 minutes I'll lie let you know

@Shodan If you don't stick it out, I doubt anyone will know if you're lying as I doubt anyone has ever watched til the end

I finally got round to watching A Star Is Born and thought it was really quite shite.

and thought it was really quite shite

PMSL What a review! Perfect. No need for fancy words! You've really encapsulated what Fences is there too. Really quite shite. I have nothing more lyrical to say about it.

I also saw Midnight in the Garden of Good and evil at the cinema @icannotremember absolutely appaling film .

I shall refer back to this thread for films not to watch when I'm looking for my next choice. I'm relieved I wasn't the only person on the planet who didn't get it though. Especially if it was an Oscar winner. Yikes. I'll keep my head down next time I'm on the red carpet.

"So Denzel, how many brain cells have you fried learning all those lines?"

I quite enjoyed it. I thought that the contradictions of his character were the whole point really.

Maybe don't go and see If Beale Street Could Talk, I have a feeling that you wouldn't like that either.

Romeo and Juliet with Leonardo. Shite!

I think I've concluded that a genre I dislike is 'artsy'.
Give me action thrillers, tear-jerkers, heck, give me bloody Santa movies. Anything bar this type.

So the resounding No is for Vanilla Sky. Interestingly, the name is familiar to me so I would possibly have attempted to watch that too if I had come across it!

Then we have:

The Room
Blades of Glory (mixed reviews here)
Moulin Rouge (love it or hate it)
Atormeny?
Roma - up there with Vanilla Sky as being pure shite
The Shape of Water
Anninilation
Titanic (I think you're soo soo wrong there)
The Knowing
The Revenant
Lincoln
Inception (pure shite)
Gravity (watchable but pure shite)
The Notebook (took two attempts, finally watched it and was left a bit 'meh' at the end)

Any other corkers I can scratch off my bucket list?

^I'm also painfully aware that there are some people (I callz themz de intellectz) reading this list and writing down their To-Do list for the next month

At least I'm not alone in my ignorance of art though!

Odd