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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

NDN wants to use our driveway for building work - AIBU?

563 replies

NigellaAwesome · 20/02/2019 21:12

Having quickly checked that the thread titled 'Twat Next Door' wasn't about us, I hoped to get hive mind views on our neighbour.

This might be long, but I don't want to drip-feed. For background, we have lived next to them for about 10 years. She's OK, but he is a complete knob. We call him Gobby Gordon. We've had a few issues over the years. The first was when one of their young relatives threw stones at our car repeatedly and caused substantial damage. When I told the wife what had happened, she was very apologetic and said she would pay. The dealer quoted £800 to repair, but I got a contact to do it at knockdown price for £120 + vat. However when I went round a couple of weeks later to let her know how much it would be, the husband arrived round later ranting and raving and threw a cheque at us for £120 but giving off severely. We were a bit Hmm about it, especially since he drove a Maserati and I doubt he would have appreciated the same being done to his car. That somewhat set the tone, but we have pretty much ignored each other over the years, with a couple of exceptions.

Our driveway is between the two houses, and beyond our fence they have about a metre passageway before their gable wall. A number of years ago I arrived home to find a workman on ladders in our driveway doing work on their chimney. They hadn't let us know, and I was shocked to find him there because we have electric gates and he must have climbed over the gates / fence to get in. I almost knocked him off the ladder because I was reversing in and only saw him at the last minute. When I asked what he was doing on my property he was really abusive. He refused to leave, and police were called and I think there was some sort of warning given. Gobby Gordon gave off to my DH about it afterwards, calling us crap neighbours. When we pointed out that he hadn't had the courtesy to ask us beforehand, he said that the workman had rung our doorbell but there had been no answer (no shit Sherlock, we were out).

A few months later I saw the wife and we had a chat. She was ok, and I explained that whilst we were happy in principle with access being given, it needed to be by prior arrangement, and with one of them - not a random builder, talking to us beforehand. This has been the case since for the last few years, and we have provided access on about 3 occasions since then. The wife has always called with us, provided details of the builder, and everything has been fine with minimal disruption.

Last week we were out and we got a call from the gates (gates connect to our phone when they are called). It was a builder asking to get onto our property to look at doing some work. We were out, had no idea what he was talking about, and said it wasn't really convenient. We didn't hear anything more.

This evening we were out again, and got a call from the gates. It was a builder asking if he could speak with us. We were out, but coming back in 15 minutes, so I said if he could hang on we would chat with him. When we got back home, he was waiting for us. He knew our names, and knew a lot about us including what we do for a living (which I'm not very happy about).

The builder said he wanted access to our driveway to build scaffolding on it to rebuild the neighbour's chimney. I was pretty pissed off that I was having this conversation directly with him, and that neither of the neighbours had spoken to us about it. When I told him this, he said that he had never even met the wife, only Gobby Gordon. He told Gordon last week that he needed to speak to us about access, but Gordon hasn't bothered his arse.

When I asked about what needed to be done, he said it would be scaffolded for 7 to 10 days (so realistically likely to be 3 weeks). Our driveway will be out of action for that time, and we have 2 cars that can't be parked outside on the busy road. I'm not thrilled at the prospect of bricks being brought up and down scaffolding which could land on our driveway, our pets, or our children. I'm going through quite a stressful time in work at the moment, and I also have professional exams coming up, so really could do without 3 weeks of building work. There's more, which would be a bit outing, but it was clear from what the builder said that Gobby Gordon had discussed a lot of private information about us - information that we didn't even know that Gordon knew, so that has really, really pissed me off. The builder also laid it on really thick that he had travelled a very long way to discuss this with us. The conversation ended with me telling the builder that I was sorry for his inconvenience, but this was an issue for the neighbours to speak to us directly about, not him, and the neighbours knew the score before they sent him round to discuss it with us. DH feels a bit sorry for the builder, but I just think this is Gobby Gordon being a cheeky fucker and sending the builder round to lay it on thick rather than having the manners to speak to us directly.

This is more a WWYD rather than AIBU. MN WWYD & AIBU re CF NDN?

OP posts:
stanski · 21/02/2019 11:02

I work with Surveyors. Showed them your drawing and asked them. They said you should request a schedule of condition drawn up by a surveyor (paid by the person doing the work) as starters to ensure any damage done by the work is rectified. They also need something called access licence, which you could agree to if they do a SOC.

BirdieInTheHand · 21/02/2019 11:02

And there's always another way of doing it.

Less timely, convenient or cost effective sure, but there's always another way.

DobbyTheHouseElk · 21/02/2019 11:02

Pull up the drawbridge OP and film everything. They are CF.

Poloshot · 21/02/2019 11:04

Wow I wasn't expecting that update this morning! Cheeky bastards

justilou1 · 21/02/2019 11:04

Why do I suspect that handshake was videoed by GG so it looks like you have agreed to something?

diddl · 21/02/2019 11:05

You are going to say no, aren't you Op?

stanski · 21/02/2019 11:05

You should also arrange to park in their driveway for the duration of the work and let them sort parking for their cars. You said you have kids and pets so I would have that as a condition of this going ahead.

Jaxhog · 21/02/2019 11:07

They can apply to the court for access under this act:
www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1992/23/introduction

But it's going to be in their best interests to make an agreement with you.

However, the law is very weak regarding trespass, so do everything you can to stop the builders getting access to your drive. They are quite likely to attempt to do so.

Original poster
NigellaAwesome · 21/02/2019 11:07

Gobby Gordon's been to speak to us. I really need to get to work but will update once I get in. I'm going to have to drive myself as I don't want DH to leave the house.

OP posts:
OneThingAndThenTheNext · 21/02/2019 11:08

Cheeky fuckers. People never cease to amaze me with sheer brass-neckedness.

billybagpuss · 21/02/2019 11:09

OMG yes definitely get a taxi to work (or if you're local I'll take you)

This is outrageous, is there anywhere DH can work so he can see everything that is going on? They absolutely wanted to do it when they thought you were away didn't they?

DarlingNikita · 21/02/2019 11:10

Sorry, what? There was no conclusion/agreement to your discussion with the builder, but they're going ahead and arriving with scaffolding anyway??

I hope you, DP and any nice neighbours/passing strangers are standing on the drive physically blocking their access. No fucking way would I allow that.

DishingOutDone · 21/02/2019 11:12

Nooooo the OP has gone to work!!! How long will she be before she can update?! Can't the DH step in and update?!

QuirkyQuark · 21/02/2019 11:13

I've just read the whole thread and I'm now waiting with baited breath to find out what GG said.

DishingOutDone · 21/02/2019 11:13

I work with Surveyors. Showed them your drawing and asked them. They said you should request a schedule of condition drawn up by a surveyor (paid by the person doing the work) as starters to ensure any damage done by the work is rectified. They also need something called access licence, which you could agree to if they do a SOC.

Personally I'd try telling them to fuck off first but if not this looks promising.

justilou1 · 21/02/2019 11:13

Omg - am waiting with baited breath from Australia. Have had to pour myself a glass of wine.

billybagpuss · 21/02/2019 11:16

lol @dishing and wishing I was in Oz with @justilou it's too early for wine here Grin

FrancisCrawford · 21/02/2019 11:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GabriellaMontez · 21/02/2019 11:19

With neighbours like you describe it's not going to go well. Save yourself the hassle.

They dont care about neighbouring relations now and they still won't when the builders have trashed your drive and left their debris behind.

HeyNannyNanny · 21/02/2019 11:21

You need to block access to your own driveway.

Normally this would be easily done with a car but, as you say, you run the risk of damaging that.

Do you need to order anything large from Wickes, as a thought? A nice big pallett of paving slabs...

Any use for a skip, perhaps?

Any old furniture that needs going to the tip, you can leave outside for a little bit?

Knittedfairies · 21/02/2019 11:21

Ohh... a live CF thread!

Whycantistaymotivated · 21/02/2019 11:21

Come on OP how long does it take to get to work and switch computer on!! (she says as she is already at work and not working lol)

lmusic87 · 21/02/2019 11:23

Oh poor you OP, they sound awful. Keep documenting everything!

DoctorTech · 21/02/2019 11:23

Why not charge them a rent for using part of your property. And get it all sorted out legally. Also put in a clause that stipulates a maximum of two weeks and if they stay longer the rent goes up due to extra disruptions for you.

Original poster
NigellaAwesome · 21/02/2019 11:29

Gobby Gordon called the gates and asked to chat. We both went out. We got a sob story about the chimney being rebuilt, they had tried everything but damp still getting in, it was going to be really expensive to do. He said builder should have been coming on Monday but finished another job earlier. He said builder initially thought that he could scaffold inside his property, but he needs 3 braces on our drive.

DH stood like a mute fool, so I ended up doing the talking (I do love him, he's just not as good at direct discussion).

Thanks to the advice here I was able to say that if they wanted access to our property, before we could even consider it we would need to have our own surveyor, solicitor and insurance company look at it and draw up a risk mitigation plan which would include netting around the scaffolding, use of a waste chute and money in an account to cover damages. I also said I would expect him to cover the cost of those professional fees.

GG said but they are here now, do you want to speak to the builder, and I said no, if we're going to consider it, then it needs to be done properly.

GG started to say that this was a problem on all the chimneys of houses this age, and we would probably have to do the same with ours to which I replied that if we did, we'd be speaking to our other neighbours well in advance. CF. DH did pipe up about the previous damage and mess caused by works.

So it's all gone quiet.

OP posts: