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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in thinking if somebody has a problem with me they should say to my face rather than emailing about it to my collegues?

40 replies

mother2b · 05/07/2007 16:19

i just got a message from my collegue who sits next to me that was forwarded from a message from my other collegue saying that i officially have the most annoying voice ever, i thought i got on well with this person but i guess she is just completely two faced!

am i being unreasonable in thinking that she has gone about this the wrong way?

i know that they guy she sent the email to she had/has a bit of a thing for and i sit next to him and mess around with him and have a laugh with him alot - i think she may be jealous and i know she has confidence issues

i feel upset that this could all be going on around me and i would be oblivious if it wasnt for him and i dont know if she's been sending them around to my other collegues

this isnt the sort of thing i would do because i think that it is cruel and bitchy but i knwo i could just be being oversensitve becasue im pregnant

-which is why i'd like your opinions please???

OP posts:
MamaG · 05/07/2007 16:20

Its childish.

She's showing off to try to impress the bloke and its very silly.

YANBU - but just give her the cold shoulder and don't make a fuss at work, as you'll be stressed out and she's really not worth it

Twiglett · 05/07/2007 16:21

forward it to her with a "Really?" comment and say no more

Twiglett · 05/07/2007 16:21

copy in entire office on it

MamaG · 05/07/2007 16:22

oooooooooh yes thats good Twig

bundle · 05/07/2007 16:22

copy in HR

Original poster
mother2b · 05/07/2007 16:23

the thing that makes this difficult is i get a lift home with her (and ironically earlier i was saying how great she is on here and i dont want to make things awkward becasue there is no one else that lives in my area that i can get a lift with

OP posts:
burek · 05/07/2007 16:26

offices are a sod for that kind of childish behaviour. Best thing you can do is carry on being yourself and ignoring the idiot since your other colleague has already shown that he values you.

We spend most of our waking hours in work so we have to pretend to get on with people sometimes just so we can reduce the stress in our lives and be happier!

nightowl · 05/07/2007 16:28

is there no other way you can get home?

i wouldn't want anything to do with someone who did that to me at work. childish and bitchy.

policywonk · 05/07/2007 16:29

Am I the only one who thinks he shouldn't have told you? I mean, it's only made you feel bad, and it's not as though there's much you can do without starting an office bitch-fight, which is not a good look. Does he enjoy having all this female attention? (Rhetorical question!)

mumto3girls · 05/07/2007 16:29

I'd go straight up to her and jokingly say 'isit still okay for that lift home if I promise not to talk?'

I bet she'd cringe

Original poster
mother2b · 05/07/2007 16:30

it takes about 1.5/2 hours to get back to home town on 2 buses and it stops about a mile from my house - and when im really pregnant i dont want to have to use public transport

OP posts:
Original poster
mother2b · 05/07/2007 16:32

think aslo it could be that im on a desk that is joined by four other desks and shes tucked away in a corner with no body to talk to so she just bitches by email to my collegues

OP posts:
maisemor · 05/07/2007 16:33

How long until you go on maternity leave? Will you be going back to work, and therefore needing her services again afterwards?

You could always just pretend that nothing has changed, and then the last day before you leave forward it round to the office, if you are not coming back.

Original poster
mother2b · 05/07/2007 16:34

just 16+2 weeks at the mo so got a while to go!

OP posts:
nightowl · 05/07/2007 16:34

and you pay this woman to give you a lift home when she lives near you anyway?

what a bitch.

maisemor · 05/07/2007 16:36

Are you sure that she is bitching about you all the time and this is not just a one off?

I feel so sorry for you, it's a horrible feeling. If it is not too long until your maternity leave you could always consider a career/job change if you plan to go back to work!!?

mumto3girls · 05/07/2007 16:36

just laugh about it, you're right in that she probably doesn't dislike you she's just jealous and she has already made herself look petty and sad to her colleagues.

Either joke with her about it or don't mention it...

Lolly68 · 05/07/2007 16:36

Go straight to HR. She should not be bad mouthing anyone in work time and esp on work email!

wannaBe · 05/07/2007 16:37

why did your other collleague feel the need to tell you this? Sorry but I think he's childish as well - he's not doing you any favours other than to make you feel bad, your voice is nothing you can do anything about after all.

maisemor · 05/07/2007 16:38

Maybe he fancies you and not her

wannaBe · 05/07/2007 16:39

and what prompted this comment from her? sorry but it sounds to me as if the male colleague is enjoying the female attention - being mr popular.

Original poster
mother2b · 05/07/2007 16:39

we are both temps at this company - she may get fired if i tell HR because they dont need a reason to terminate our contract

she was in my DS year at her school and my lil sis warned me that she was extremely bitchy about people

OP posts:
wannaBe · 05/07/2007 16:42

but people bitch though don't they? imo the one in the wrong is the one that passed on the message. sounds to me as if he is playing you off against each other - have you said anything about her to him? because if so you can be sure she knows about it.

wannaBe · 05/07/2007 16:44

not saying that the bitching is right btw, but the passing it on isn't either, that's just stirring.

nightowl · 05/07/2007 16:45

well he could be playing them off against each other as you say wannabe, or he could just feel sorry for mother2b being bitched about behind her back.