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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Schools method of discipline AIBU

266 replies

Ninjafox · 19/02/2019 20:16

Not sure if I'm being precious but I'm sure I'll be told either way now. Found out today that DC's school discipline naughty children by sending them to another class to sit on a chair.

My thoughts are this is worse than a telling off as they are actively showing the other children 'look at this naughty child' and humiliating them. This happens as young as reception. At least if they are sent to the head they get a telling off and that's more or less the end of it. It feels a bit like the village stocks or a public flogging. AIBU to think this is a bit off? For reference the school is in a really good catchment and the naughty kids of whom I know a few seem quite mildly naughty tbh.

OP posts:
user1493423934 · 20/02/2019 10:32

The article blaming teachers for poor behaviour for not planning engaging lessons can fuck right off as well.

^This. With bells on. And I'm not a teacher

Crazycrazylady · 20/02/2019 10:36

It's posts like this that remind me why I'm so glad I didn't choose teaching. 😅

Lizzie48 · 20/02/2019 10:47

OP, you asked the question whether you were being precious. You therefore should have known that there was a good chance the answer on here would be yes. In this case quite rightly.

I find on here that so many parents' instinctive reaction is to think their DC is hard done by. 9 times out of 10 they are being totally U. You should be backing up the school, and teaching your DC that they are to behave appropriately.

You don't seem to set the bar very high in terms of their behaviour in school. On what planet is it ever ok for a DC to throw a snowball at a teacher? The teacher is not one of their friends who is playing with them in the playground.

Being sent to another class is a perfectly reasonable punishment IMO. Hopefully it will work as a deterrent against future misbehaviour.

FrenchJunebug · 20/02/2019 11:04

I am not a teacher but a parent and I think your attitude is awful. For the lunch money do you go to restaurant and expect to be able to say 'oh I'll pay you later, promise'?! For the snowball, even my reception age child knows not to do that to a teacher! As for being sent to another class it is quite normal in my 'outstanding' school and only happen if a child is particularly disruptive.

ShawshanksRedemption · 20/02/2019 11:17

@Ninjafox

As a parent you can play snowball fights on the way to school as much as you like, because you are setting the parameters and rules for it. It's just you and your DC, and that's ok.

But a teacher has more than your DC to consider and to keep safe. Therefore rules are different to home and the school rules are consistent across all the classes. They have to be, to benefit the entire class, and so children learn what is and what isn't acceptable in a school setting. There needs to be respect for the teacher who is a professional, and not there as a surrogate parent, but to educate and maintain discipline to ensure education is carried out.

Throwing a snowball showed that your child had got the boundaries wrong, and was told off. I wonder what the teacher said that you feel was wrong here? I'm also wondering if you felt embarrassed?

If it's important to you that you feel a school should use your rules instead of it's own, then look to a different school that follows your ethos, or maybe even home school.

TheSultanofPingu · 20/02/2019 11:28

Even if everyone who had replied on this thread WAS a teacher, why would that matter Op?
It has been explained to you that this is common and effective behaviour management.

Lbmgirl · 20/02/2019 11:30

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ZeldaPrincessOfHyrule · 20/02/2019 11:54

I think OP's gone...

...but I do wonder how she would use the aforementioned 'positive reinforcement' when Little Johnny is kicking the shit out of Little Mikey in the home corner again.

BoneyBackJefferson · 20/02/2019 11:57

ZeldaPrincessOfHyrule

The OP wouldn't know how to use it, just how to complain that her PFB has been assaulted in the classroom and its the teachers fault for not doing enough.

justmyview · 20/02/2019 12:00

I haven't heard of this exiting policy, but it sounds good. I volunteer in my DS' class, and some of the children are quite disruptive. They crave the attention of their peers. Sitting in a different class, with children who are ignoring them would be brilliant. And if it humiliates them a bit, so much the better. A good lesson in actions and consequences

Lizzie48 · 20/02/2019 12:03

I wouldn't think the OP has gone, she last posted at 8am, which isn't that long ago, so she's quite likely to come back and give us another example of where the school is being OTT.

Lbmgirl · 20/02/2019 12:07

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viques · 20/02/2019 12:12

OP! You don't seem to understand that schools and teachers work together in a school around behaviour and how to deal with it. It is probably part of the school behaviour policy that a series of interventions happen when a child misbehaves. I imagine that the child has already been reminded of the behaviour expected in class several times and knows that on the third time of reminding the next step kicks in ie being sent to another class. If that doesn't help the behaviour then another step will be tried, maybe spending time with a senior member of staff and so on until eventually you are called in to discuss your child's attitude to learning and behaving well in school.

The same steps will be used throughout the school , it's called consistency, and teaches children that in school adults say what they mean and mean what they say, unlike parents who would rather blame their child's bad behaviour on someone else........ Naming no names.

GreenTulips · 20/02/2019 12:13

A good lesson in actions and consequences

I agree

The children will know X behaviour equals Y consequence and if that the school behaviour policy then teachers should expect to follow that

chloem93 · 20/02/2019 12:26

If you think that's harsh discipline, no wonder kids seem to be brats. Sitting on a chair won't hurt them, they need to be disciplined in some way... what would you suggest? Teachers have the right to do the punishment, not just the head. If the teachers weren't allowed to discipline, the kids would know this and take full advantage.

drspouse · 20/02/2019 12:29

This is used at my DCs' school, Reception go to Nursery etc.
It works well for my DS who has SEN, as sometimes he just needs a break.

drspouse · 20/02/2019 12:31

(He doesn't really "get" consequences but it's still effective in diffusing the situation).

Deadbudgie · 20/02/2019 12:56

I'm guessing school has a policy of not throwing things at teachers (and most likely other things too). It will be based on not causing harm. A stone inadvertently caught up in a snowball could have serious consequences - FWIW I hate snowball fights.

It is a rule of the school which has been broken therefore there are rightly consequences. say there is 200 kids in the school, what if they all decided to throw a snowball at the teacher - quite frankly the child needed telling off. If some random child in the street did this to me I would also tell them off.

Quite frankly OP if your kids are so perfect, surely you are supportive of their classroom being kept in the best possible state for them to fulfil their no doubt genius potential by removing the disruptive ones.

Just as a matter of interest, how would YOU discipline a consistently disruptive child so as not to wreck the educational experiences of the other 29 kids in the classroom? I presume with your wonderful knowledge on how to control a class of 4/5 year olds you are taking up a PGCE this September to pass on your wonderful skills - after all you have brought up such marvellous kids.

PS not a teacher - just can spot "that parent" a mile off

theFavourites · 20/02/2019 13:24

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TildaTurnip · 20/02/2019 13:37

Parking/Exiting/RTL/isolation forces the student who misbehaved to consider their chosen actions (and subsequent consequences) without any distractions.

I disagree. It allows resentment and confusion to grow.

ZeldaPrincessOfHyrule · 20/02/2019 13:41

@TildaTurnip not if it's followed up with a discussion. At any age.

ShawshanksRedemption · 20/02/2019 13:41

TildaTurnip Wed 20-Feb-19 13:37:11
I disagree. It allows resentment and confusion to grow.

I get resentment but what confusion?

AllPizzasGreatAndSmall · 20/02/2019 13:42

the naughty kids of whom I know a few seem quite mildly naughty tbh.

You seem to have labelled some children as the naughty children - how did you come to this conclusion?
The teachers send the child from the class because their behaviour is inappropriate.

TildaTurnip · 20/02/2019 13:45

There are many 4/5 year olds that would not be able to say exactly what sitting in a different room was doing to change their behaviour or teach them. It’s not restorative or shown to have long term success as a behaviour management technique.

ZeldaPrincessOfHyrule · 20/02/2019 14:06

@TildaTurnip We'll have to agree to disagree - I think it very much is restorative. It allows the child distance from an escalating situation, and a new environment in which to calm down. It allows their fight-or-flight response to lessen, and then a proper chat about what happened can be had. It can restore calm, both for the child who is showing negative behaviours and for the children trying to learn. It's not the only thing that's restorative, but I think a change of adult and environment can absolutely be restorative rather than punitive.