Schools method of discipline AIBU

[Ninjafox]

Not sure if I'm being precious but I'm sure I'll be told either way now. Found out today that DC's school discipline naughty children by sending them to another class to sit on a chair.

My thoughts are this is worse than a telling off as they are actively showing the other children 'look at this naughty child' and humiliating them. This happens as young as reception. At least if they are sent to the head they get a telling off and that's more or less the end of it. It feels a bit like the village stocks or a public flogging. AIBU to think this is a bit off? For reference the school is in a really good catchment and the naughty kids of whom I know a few seem quite mildly naughty tbh.

Not sure if I'm being precious but I'm sure I'll be told either way now

You sure have. By all bar one poster. Precious doesn't begin to cover it. It's parents like you that explain why so many kids are the way they are these days.

I'M STILL NOT A TEACHER! by the way, not even in RECEPTION

OP, the problem is that so many parents have so many reasons why their children don’t behave, shouldn’t be disciplined, made a mistake etc. I know my young son was sent to the ‘thinking chair’ in nursery for something I felt was completely unjustified. In the thousands upon thousands of lessons I’ve taught in the past decade and more, I’ve made decisions that were wrong as well. The snowball incident could have been one of a dozen scenarios which make you or the teacher completely wrong or more likely somewhere in between. But I finding that there are parents who rain down hell, fire and fury if a teacher makes any kind of tiny error of judgement in any given day. I’m tasked with delivering sessions on mental health to teenagers but my mental health is in shreds doing this job and no one considers that - parents and children alike seem to consider teachers to be robots.

As for dreaming of having such small problems to face - as a secondary teacher, I’ve had knives in the classroom, been called a cunt by six-foot rugby players, had disclosures of breathtaking, hauntingly terrible abuse made to me by children who have suffered things that I had never previously imagined, I have had children in front of me with incredibly complex needs, I’ve seen terrible violence - honestly, all kinds of things. I’m still massively irritated by the whining, petulant kid with ‘engaged’ professional parents from leafy suburbia who pouts in the weekly library lesson that ‘I don’t LIKE reading’ and genuinely expects me to find him an alternative activity because his parents have never taught him to do as he’s fecking told. I’m upset by the bitching clique at my sons’ lovely primary school that has hounded a hardworking and committed headteacher out of her job because they had to challenge every single tiny decision, from behaviour policies to uniform to school trips to snow closures and every single in between. So now we have no permanent headteacher and no doubt they’re poised waiting to criticise everything the next poor unfortunate to get the job decides to do.

The article blaming teachers for poor behaviour for not planning engaging lessons can fuck right off as well.

If a child threw a snowball at me, I’d say, “don’t throw snowballs because it isn’t very nice to be hit with one”. Not sure why further punishment was needed!

Your child threw a snowball at a teacher. Your child is a problem. You should be explaining that the behaviour is unacceptable not whining abut the punishment.

My DCs were no angels but neither of them would have been daft enough to throw a snowball at a teacher, I taught them better.

They use this method in my DC's school but from Yr1 up. Reception have the cloud/sun chart thing.

DS2 is the very quiet and good sort, he got sent out of class once in Yr4 and rightly so. Never happened again so had the right effect on him. Doesn't work with DS3, he has ASD and his special autistic gift is the power to keep up disruptive behaviour and just carries on. But then they've done this when he is having a meltdown rather than silliness/talking when they should be working etc.

Oh dear, you're one of those parents OP.

I bet your child's really naughty/attention seeking/disruptive, no?

There is quite a bit of evidence to show that humiliation at a young age is detrimental to a child

If you really think that being asked to sit on a chair in another classroom is 'humiliation', then you are very odd.

OP you asked if you were being unreasonable. A majority of users think you are. Please listen to them.
People don't think you are a 'shit parent'- the gig is tough, we always second guess ourselves and question the system. That's a good thing.
This question has been answered this time and by overwhelming majority you need to re-evaluate your stance on this. Don't ask the question if you don't want the answer.
Positive reinforcement can only go so far, take that from someone who teaches in a high achieving catchment with a lot of pressure. Step one would always be to praise, give the child choices, have meaningful conversations and then remove them from the situation as a final resort. I suggest meeting the teacher to see if it is all as humiliating as you think it is.

Also, your kid hit a teacher with a snowball! Not well behaved on that occasion!! All the engaging lessons in the world didn't stop your DC making that silly choice when free at break time!!

The snowball incident. If the teacher had 'laughed it off' as you obviously expected them too, then all the children might have started pelting the teacher with snowballs. After all, it wasn't just your child who had been cooped up all day.

What if all the children in the class chose to be 'a bit silly'? Do you think any learning would take place at all? I've seen so many 'spirited' children come through school. Their parents are the ones who demand a meeting with the teacher for the tiniest thing, say if little Tarquin is told off for throwing food and they don't think lunch time staff should be allowed to tell their child not to do that.

Op, you seem to think that this thread is full of teachers disagreeing with you. If you read back you'll see that most people on here are parents rather than teachers and they are also disagreeing with you.

Teach your child to listen and follow the rules. There is always time to discuss rules and the reasoning behind them during circle time.

I'd love to know how you think a teacher can facilitate learning and keep 30 children safe without having rules and expecting them to be adhered to.

Unless a teacher is massively unreasonable it is your job as a parent to back them up. You don’t agree with the snowball thing? Fine that’s your choice. Imagine if 30 kids did the same. The teacher would be soaked, maybe injured.

I think you need to get away from thinking of your child as an individual and appreciate they are part of a collective, one in a class of 30 or so. As such rules must be strictly observed to maintain order and ensure learning takes place in a safe and caring environment.

If you don’t like this, there is always home schooling.

My DC are not a problem and have been described as a delight to have in their class, kind, thoughtful and wish they had a classful like DC

Aye

Well if there’s one thing the teachers on this thread do know it’s that the “telling off” you would prefer is utterly futile.

“Telling off” switches students off. Giving long lectures damages your relationship, the student stops listening pretty quickly.
If you raise your voice at an individual student all you achieve is a lack of respect, when you need to be able to teach them again tomorrow.

Students know the rules. They are drilled in them. When misbehaviour is answered with a “telling off” the student gains attention, they feel control, they get to turn the situation around on you because now you’re being unreasonable about it.

Parking/Exiting/RTL/isolation forces the student who misbehaved to consider their chosen actions (and subsequent consequences) without any distractions.

It separates the behaviour from the student and the sanction from the teacher meaning their interpersonal relationship can continue afresh tomorrow.

Your child threw a snowball at a teacher? Probably straight after being warned not to throw the snow?
You’re doing nothing but justifying your child’s unacceptable behaviour.
And who describes your child as so lovely blah blah? You?
Your kid plays up? There are consequences.

My all time favourite was being told it was against a boys human rights to force him to stand up for the afternoon.

I do think it's quite unfair to expect children to remain standing for a whole afternoon. What was the context? Standing in one place or just walking?

NotMySquirrel

I teach a practical subject, we stand up for any practical work.

I have had parents complain that I shouldn't make their PFBs stand for my lesson because they have just had PE, on several occasions they had an important match the day before and on one particular occasion because they had a match the day after.

TBH these kids were always the most disruptive in the class.

You'd get a text before lunch from my DD's primary if you tried to order school lunch with no money in the account! Why should they run at a deficit, that's fair enough IMO.

You clearly think you are in the right OP and were only looking for agreement. I can see that in the way you say everyone is a TEACHER ignoring all the posts from those of us, like me, who is not!

Probably best for children to behave, then they won't have to leave the room.

The child sits in a different class, that is it. Stop being hysterical. If they don't like it then it works and they don't do it again.

Gosh im with you op. Children from a pretty well to do area should not need to be disciplined in any way, as it is clearly not poor behaviour, but creativity that should be encouraged. Now, children from the local sink estate behaving in the same way should be flogged. We don't need those types thinking they can behave as they please.

I think it's fine.
No, I'm not a teacher.