Schools method of discipline AIBU

[Ninjafox]

Not sure if I'm being precious but I'm sure I'll be told either way now. Found out today that DC's school discipline naughty children by sending them to another class to sit on a chair.

My thoughts are this is worse than a telling off as they are actively showing the other children 'look at this naughty child' and humiliating them. This happens as young as reception. At least if they are sent to the head they get a telling off and that's more or less the end of it. It feels a bit like the village stocks or a public flogging. AIBU to think this is a bit off? For reference the school is in a really good catchment and the naughty kids of whom I know a few seem quite mildly naughty tbh.

With every post you make OP, you're making yourself sound stupid every time and that you obviously think your child and yourself can do no wrong as far as school is concerned.

Pay for meals on time and send correct things in to school on time so staff don't have to waste their time chasing up parents who are a pain in the arse. Plus, teach your child to be respectful of teaching staff and know what's acceptable behaviour.

Your child threw something at a teacher and you think that's OK

Your attitude is awful.

The more I read from the OP, the more I'm sure this is a made up half-term thread from a bored child who has probably been sent out of the classroom for being disruptive one too many times

If it's not a joke, then wow. If your child threw a snowball at me, as a disabled teacher with a chronic pain condition, it could have seen me off work for a week.

You sound very chaotic, OP. It's not "petty" for the school to ring you about these things to remind you; paying for things on time and providing correct equipment is being an organised adult, which, as a parent, you should be aiming to be.

Ninjafox you are 'that' parent.

theconversation.com/how-teachers-are-taught-to-discipline-a-classroom-might-not-be-the-best-way-34860

The article cited seeks to locate blame on the teacher for not engaging the student.

The PP who said this had no relevance to the UK is mistaken. When I last taught in the UK, behaviour issues alway resulted in calling my lesson plans, i.e. my failure to engage.

OP, how do you think the teacher could have better designed playground snowball activities to engage your child?

llangenith

Spot on.

I was about to suggest the OP home school her child. Then I felt sorry for the child.

Feels like the teacher can't control a class tbh

What did they say when you offered to go in and show them how to do it?

Oh my word. How unreasonable of the school to keep the children ‘cooped up’ because of health and safety. OP, just because tor school is middle class doesn’t mean that everyone who sends their children there is a good parent. That ‘engagement’ with the school largely translates to smug mums who have absolutely no clue what teaching entails forming nasty little bitchy groups where they criticise EVERYTHING. The school closes for snow - outrage! What about the childcare? The school opens for snow - outrage! I want my children to enjoy the magic of snow! The school allows children to play out in the snow - outrage! My child slipped; why weren’t they being properly supervised? The school keeps them inside - outrage! Of course they can’t control themselves after such cruel restriction and HAVE to pelt the teachers with snow when they are finally let out! It’s parents like that - endlessly, relentlessly critical - who undermine and destroy school policies and make everything a battle which is ultimately detrimental to the children.

Middle class children who have bnp idea about boundaries, consequences and the unimaginable notion that they are not the only child in the room are the ones who insidiously and continuously disrupt the learning of all the other children throughout their school careers. These ‘engaged’ well off parents can produce absolutely obnoxious offspring and remain the only ones utterly blind to what they have done to their children, who come to secondary with no resilience, no ability to admit when they have been at fault, no capacity to learn from mistakes or poor decisions and no understanding of the need to work hard and to conform to the rules that make learning possible for the big classes of diverse needs that most teachers have to deal with.

The behaviour system you and the other parents are bitching about is standard practice in most schools. You don’t understand a teacher’s job, you don’t know what the expectations are, you don’t know how to manage a classroom. So you aren’t qualified to dictate what goes on.

Expect things to get A LOT worse, OP. A massive crisis is already underway in education. Your children may well be taught by unqualified teachers in classes of 40+ when they get to secondary. Maths teachers, MFL teachers - they might barely exist at all. LSAs will be a thing of the past. If you’re unhappy now, get ready for what’s coming because it’s going to be catastrophic. And nitpicking, criticising and complaining about the teacher’s every move will only hasten the departure of experienced and skilled teachers already haemorrhaging from the profession in overwhelming numbers because I can tell you, we are sick of it. And all the holidays in the world aren’t compensation enough.

For clarity - I'm a teacher... a supply teacher actually so I have to control and manage a class without prior knowledge of the individuals concerned (I might get a little warning of some personalities to watch but that's it) and often without recourse to the school behaviour systems. My behaviour management as a result is bloody brilliant because there's nothing like being in front of a different class every day to hone your skills.

I would still find the kids in my own children's school with its very affluent middle class catchment more challenging to teach than some children in very deprived areas of town - because as someone else has mentioned - the parental attitudes undermining school can lead to a terrible sense of entitlement at times.

My own eldest can also be very very challenging in terms of her behaviour (it masks severe anxiety in her case - she becomes more gobby and defiant as a really bad coping strategy to hide this) and I have absolutely no issue with the teacher sending her out of the class to calm it down when required. Usually the knowledge she's hit that point on the behaviour ladder, coupled with the change of scene for 5 minutes is enough to break a spiral of it escalating more and more within the classroom. Leave her in the situation and it will just escalate as she'll dig herself deeper into a hole (we've not mastered stopping digging yet - work in progress!) but just remove it for 5 minutes and it tends to resolve itself much more smoothly. She's also been sent to the headteacher once as a warning shot that the gobbiness needed to be reined in - I have absolutely no issues with that being done - and it did really get the message across to her.

The one time it DOES piss me off is when you get year 6 kids sent down to reception "because Miss said I was behaving like a reception child and needed to come here" and I'm usually sat there simmering because my reception kids are behaving bloody brilliantly ffs!

Wow you lot are a lovely bunch. Clearly never cross a teacher as you can't critically look at your own practice without being outraged if anyone dares suggest they disagree with a method.

My DC are not a problem and have been described as a delight to have in their class, kind, thoughtful and wish they had a classful like DC - not that I would expect any of you lot to believe that. My conscience is clear on the behaviour of the children I send into school.

A few minor things I've mentioned and quite frankly you could swear that I'm a menace to all school teachers. I'm sure there are teachers on here dreaming that problems like that were the only ones they ever encountered but sadly get far worse.

Cheby appears to be one of the few with a level of common sense & you jumped straight on them too. Calling someone stupid is nothing more than bullying.

Captainbrickbeard I'm not cross they were kept in, but would imagine that on leaving school on a day that there was some snow that it's a bit OTT to get upset over 1 snowball. My DC is young and has no power in their lobbing ability so it would never of hurt.

OP, you sound like the mum who was an hour late collecting their child from swimming last Sunday and when she turned up, there was no apology for keeping my son back for an hour, just a moan that no one had phoned her (They had. Multiple times).

The world doesn’t revolve around you. You should keep on top of the lunch payments. Your child shouldn’t throw a snowball at a teacher. Parking a child is a perfectly fine way of dealing with a disruptive child, even at a young age.

Do not throw us a pretty basic school rule! Being exited does not change that.

The more I read from the OP, the more I'm sure this is a made up half-term thread from a bored child

Sadly not, they have a posting history.

I'm thinking of making a job lot of *I'M NOT A TEACHER" badges. Anyone want one?

If it is obvious that the child should not have throw it then the fact they did is not a parenting fail.
There was so much going on in yr r i think most parents forgot something.
It is interesting as so many perfect parents on here and with perfect dc. But in real life there are parents explicitly showing dc that they ignore rules. By parking where they are not allowed to. By wearing outside shoes round the swimming pools.

Dear goodness, you are totally deluded! You clearly know fuck all about teaching (I was a teacher) and have taught your children fuck all about manners. YABU. You just want to run teachers down. If you think teaching is so easy, run along and train as one and then come back here.

you can't critically look at your own practice without being outraged if anyone dares suggest they disagree with a method.

Actually, reflecting on my own practice is a huge part of my job, as well as critique of myself and other aspects of teaching on all of my three degrees and my current PhD.

The behaviour technique you have described is effective and well researched. It will also more than likely be part of a whole school behaviour approach, which will not have been decided on by the class teacher.

My DC are not a problem

That's what ALL entitled parents of poorly behaved children say. Funnily enough, the ones who aren't as entitled, usually those living in areas of deprivation, are far happier to accept that what the teacher is saying is actually correct (you know, seeing as they spend the entire day with the child, five days a week) and work with the teacher to solve issues, not against them.

Ninjafox I don’t think most people on here are teachers. I’m not. But I don’t think DC should throw a snowball at a teacher. It was done out of silliness in your DC’s case (and not malice) but it’s still unacceptable and there was a consequence. You need to teach your DCs to respect school rules and staff. Going on about how they’ve humiliated your DC is ridiculous. I hope you haven’t expressed this view in front of your DC as you would only be encouraging them to continue to show a lack of respect towards the school, the teacher and the rules. Perhaps this is how the incident came about in the first place??

All the emotive language in the world (cooped up, poor little mites, staring longingly from inside the gulag) just makes you feel better about it.

Child throws snowball at teacher. Teacher tells child off. Child learns not to throw snowball at teacher no matter how cooped and longing he/she is sounds like the most mundane scenario ever, except in most cases where I am, the parents would have bounced to reprimand their children first. Not gone ‘Horatio! What fun! Do you feel your SPIRIT unbend after HOURS of being COOPED UP so CRUELLY darling, staring LONGINGLY at the FEW, FRAGILE snowflakes FALLING through the cold, wintry air that I have clearly given you such JUST CAUSE to identify so STRONGLY WITH?’

Cotton wool! Get your cotton wool here...

The snowball thing is ridiculous. What happens if every child throws a snowball at the teacher? That's not acceptable, therefore one snowball isn't acceptable. I'm shocked you think your dc is well behaved.