Schools method of discipline AIBU

[Ninjafox]

Not sure if I'm being precious but I'm sure I'll be told either way now. Found out today that DC's school discipline naughty children by sending them to another class to sit on a chair.

My thoughts are this is worse than a telling off as they are actively showing the other children 'look at this naughty child' and humiliating them. This happens as young as reception. At least if they are sent to the head they get a telling off and that's more or less the end of it. It feels a bit like the village stocks or a public flogging. AIBU to think this is a bit off? For reference the school is in a really good catchment and the naughty kids of whom I know a few seem quite mildly naughty tbh.

Well it IS massively disrespectful! Your child could have thrown it at a wall or another child even...but to throw it at a teacher! Of course that's wrong and has to be addressed! I'd be shocked if one of my children did such a thing and the fact that you think it's fine shows JUST why your child does too.

Then yea h your child that while they may be excited they still need to control themselves and be accountable for their actions.

Yep we should ban snow, snow flakes, snow men. We should ban fun snow scene cards. Maybe we should just go all out and ban Christmas?

All the kids had been cooped up all day and wanted to play in the snow. Why was it YOUR child who threw the snowball?

What the feck are you going on about? nobody said to ban snow! You just sound daft now.

No need to do that OP, just teach your child how to be respectful or the teacher will have to do your job for you.

Yes. One snowball thrown at a teacher. That's all it takes. Not one snowball thrown to see how far it can go. Not one snowball among many thrown as part of a fun snowball 'fight'. Not one snowball chucked in the air to see where it lands. Just one snowball thrown at a teacher shows that child needs extra support from school to model appropriate behaviour because that child isn't been taught appropriate behaviour at home.

HTH (and breathe! It's half term)

So it was you OP who thought encouraging your child to throw a snowball at a teacher was a good idea?

I am, shocked, shocked I tell you, to find you are needlessly critical of teachers in other areas.

But yes banning fucking snow is what people are telling you to do, not just to consider teaching your kids some fucking respect .

That may be a reason, but it's not an excuse. It does explain why you think it's not right for children to be sent out of the classroom for their behaviour, I'm not sure you can imagine a situation that warrants it because throwing a snowball at a teacher is, in your eyes, not a problem that even deserves a conversation. I wonder what you'd suggest for a child who was kicking the teacher? Or throwing chairs?

*isn't being/hasn't been

I'm a 'fun' primary teacher, my pupils wouldn't throw a snowball at me, whether they'd been cooped up all day or not. The fact that you think that's ok speaks volumes. Give me a class in an inner city school anyday over one in a "good" catchment area full of entitled parents.

That'a nice, OP, that you think children are so well-behaved that they don't need any discipline at all.

Former secondary school teacher here. So maybe not what you're looking for in terms of age-relevance, but this was a common thing in all the schools I taught at. We actually had a timetable of who we would send kids to/when they would be sent to us within the faculty at my last school which worked like a dream (timetabled so that the "naughty" room would be a 6th form or top set class which would usually be quieter and meant the teacher could spend more time helping the kid who'd been sent out with the work they'd brought with them, with the extra bonus of allowing the kid to see usually super smart and hardworking students and thus mollifying them a little ). I'm not a teacher anymore but ask a parent this wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

So what if it's worse than a telling off? It's supposed to be a punishment isn't it? I suspect the child probably gets a telling off first and if s/he still misbehaves is then sent to another classroom. So the child may then feel humiliated? Again so what,it's a punishment and hopefully will make them think again before they decide to act up in class next time. Christ no wonder some kids are so spoilt and self entitled!

Hi OP - I'm a teacher and I also have 3 children of my own. You sound like you don't understand what's expected of you.

Your child shouldn't throw snow at teachers. You need to keep up to date with payments for lunch and so on. Your child needs you to send the required resources for school including school play costumes. It's humiliating to be the only child without these things. It's humiliating when your parents forget to pay for lunch. It's humiliating when you do the wrong thing again because your parents have never shown you how to behave (e.g. throwing snow at teachers)

By not preparing your child for the world I would argue that you are humiliating them.

I don’t think YABU OP. You’re correct; there is plenty of evidence that says humiliation is not a good or effective way to discipline. It’s an outdated practice. I suppose the question is do you consider being sent to another class to be humiliation? I think it is. Being made to wear a dunce’s cap or stand with your back to the class have long been called out as being humiliation and inappropriate. I think this is in the same category as that (not the same, or as bad, before anyone jumps on me), as you say, it marks them out to their peers as ‘the naughty child’, which I would consider to be humiliation and therefore inappropriate.

On the snowball front, in reception, our school posted a picture of some of kids in the class all lined up and throwing snowballs at the teachers. So, not only did they not consider it disrespectful, they considered it amusing enough to put on Twitter for all parents to see. I guess it depends on the type of telling off it was, how hard they w the snowball, whether they had been told beforehand not to do it and how old your DC was. ‘Please don’t throw snowballs at anyone, someone could get hurt’ would not be a problem. Full bollocking and a punishment for doing something they didn’t know wasn’t allowed is inappropriate. Had they been told not to do it before they went out? If so, DC did need to be told off. Full context is important.

I don’t think YABU OP. You’re correct; there is plenty of evidence that says humiliation is not a good or effective way to discipline. It’s an outdated practice. I suppose the question is do you consider being sent to another class to be humiliation? I think it is. Being made to wear a dunce’s cap or stand with your back to the class have long been called out as being humiliation and inappropriate. I think this is in the same category as that (not the same, or as bad, before anyone jumps on me), as you say, it marks them out to their peers as ‘the naughty child’, which I would consider to be humiliation and therefore inappropriate

The way to not be marked out as the "naughty child" is not to be naughty. They've already singled themselves out. Feeling humiliated is not the same as the process being humiliating.

I'd love to hear your suggestions for dealing with children who break the rules that don't single them out.

Yup much better to let a child mess around and disrupt the education of the rest of the class - while also drawing attention to themselves of course. Than take a simple step to remove them from the environment to give them a chance to calm down and actually get some work done!

As for not seeing the issue with launching a snowball at a teacher - well that explains a lot really!

This happens in our school, but only after a number of warnings and other steps have been taken.

And people think teachers have it easy!! It’s not just misbehaving kids they have to deal with, but the useless parents too!!

How about you teach your kids how to behave appropriately and maybe the poor little darlings won’t have to face the traumatic experience of being sent to another classroom?!

On the snowball front, in reception, our school posted a picture of some of kids in the class all lined up and throwing snowballs at the teachers. So, not only did they not consider it disrespectful, they considered it amusing enough to put on Twitter for all parents to see.

You are right, context is important. What you describe sounds like an organised, agreed activity which is different to what OP described.

When my kids were in primary there were a few ‘fun’ days. One of the organised activities was pelting a wet sponge at a teacher who had their face sticking through some cut-out. Most kids missed. Point being, if a kid on a normal day came to school, grabbed a sponge, soaked it and pelted a teacher there would (rightly) be hell to pay. I would think it’s pretty obvious that kids don’t just pelt teachers with snowballs if not part of a pre-organised and agreed activity. Common sense and nothing to do with being in a classroom all day or being excited to see snow. Stop making excuses and instead focus on teaching your child correct behaviour and respect.

Wow then I clearly am a shit parent user.

You said it. Nothing else to be said, really.

Oh dear OP. With your attitude, I can almost guarantee that your kids are not well behaved (throwing a snowball at a teacher with the excuse that he had been "cooped up" - this is very poor behaviour) and that you are THAT parent; you know, the one who's kids can never do any wrong and who doesn't support the school in managing behaviour. What you clearly thought you'd find here is validation for your lax parenting and belief that it's ok for your children to misbehave without proper consequence. It is not humiliating to go ajd sit in another classroom if you have disrupted yours to the extent that others can't learn. It makes no difference how many adults are in the room. It's standard behaviour management and will not damage your child or anyone else's. LSAs are usually for specific children whose learning needs make them necessary - not to manage the behaviour of a class. That's the teacher's job and he/she is doing it by removing disruptive pupils so that the majority can learn. Seriously. Give your head a wobble and support the school in disciplining your children.

OP - the more you say, the worse you sound. I’d quit now. Quite frankly, you’re embarrassing yourself.

So what would been your reaction if the reception class teacher had gethered up some snow and thrown a snowball back and it had hit your child? That your poor child had been assaulted as the teacher was an adult and should know better?
If you think your child’s school is so bad pull your child out, home school and let someone else have your child’s place instead, i’m Sure they’ll be glad to get rid of the pair of you!