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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Schools method of discipline AIBU

266 replies

Ninjafox · 19/02/2019 20:16

Not sure if I'm being precious but I'm sure I'll be told either way now. Found out today that DC's school discipline naughty children by sending them to another class to sit on a chair.

My thoughts are this is worse than a telling off as they are actively showing the other children 'look at this naughty child' and humiliating them. This happens as young as reception. At least if they are sent to the head they get a telling off and that's more or less the end of it. It feels a bit like the village stocks or a public flogging. AIBU to think this is a bit off? For reference the school is in a really good catchment and the naughty kids of whom I know a few seem quite mildly naughty tbh.

OP posts:
ZeldaPrincessOfHyrule · 20/02/2019 14:08

...and it's not the 4/5 year old who needs to say how the behaviour technique benefits them, that's kind of irrelevant. All they need to know is that it's done to help, with respect for them as well as the whole class.

TildaTurnip · 20/02/2019 14:17

Time out is not an effective behaviour management technique for long term change. Especially for young children. It’s dated and is just what has always been done. It’s often the same children sent out and that in itself shows its lack of effectiveness.

Waveysnail · 20/02/2019 14:22

Our school uses it and it's kids are not humiliated or embarrassed. Especially reception age kids. They go to another class and sit at a desk, usually with colouring page or a book. Let's everyone calm down.

Drogosnextwife · 20/02/2019 14:27

Well it's better than what they did at my ds school when a child in the class became violent. They removed the rest of the class and left him throwing chairs and scissors around the room (scissors had been aimed at one child's head). I know it was necessary for the rest of the children to be removed for safety reasons, but surely it shouldn't be getting to that stage in the first place.

areyoureallysaying · 20/02/2019 14:33

Ninjafox
First off I am a teacher and the school where I work using Parking very successfully to manage behavior.
there are LSAs in the classroom
The role is in the title, they are there to support learning. If a child is acting out for some reason then they are not usually in a great place to learn. Therefore sending the child out to a calm safe space while the LSA's support the other children who are ready to learn but need support to access the curriculum is a far better use of additional adults.
When the LSA gives all their attention to the disruptive child all it teaches that child is that inappropriate behavior is rewarded with extra adult attention.

amusedbush · 20/02/2019 14:34

They did this when I was at High School (I left in 2007). I once once removed after a million warnings that I ignored for talking and sent to sit in first year class. Being 16/17 and having a load of 12 year olds giggling at you as you slope to the back of the room with a book ensures you don't do it again!

Lbmgirl · 20/02/2019 14:37

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TildaTurnip · 20/02/2019 14:39

the humiliation of sitting with year 1 children and they soon learn

Openly admitting to using humiliation to punish!

Lbmgirl · 20/02/2019 14:42

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BoneyBackJefferson · 20/02/2019 14:45

TildaTurnip
If a child threw a snowball at me, I’d say, “don’t throw snowballs because it isn’t very nice to be hit with one”. Not sure why further punishment was needed!

Because it doesn't work.

Lbmgirl · 20/02/2019 15:06

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3teens2cats · 20/02/2019 15:27

Youngest ds got sent out in reception class and at the time I remember feeling it was very harsh. However I now totally understand why the teacher has to have absolute boundaries from day one. She could see it had really upset him but she had to follow through with the consequences which had been said. He had several warnings. This was for talking during carpet time. For an impulsive 4 yr old, yes it was tough but he learnt from it and several years went by before it was necessary again.
In short, I understand your feelings but yabu.

insecure123 · 20/02/2019 15:29

Little wonder we have kids growing up to be very entitled and snowflakey these days if there are genuinely some parents who think sending a kid into another classroom for a bit is a terrible punishment akin to public flogging. Oh dear lord.

I remember my Gran telling me that if my Dad or one of my Aunties came home from school and told her they had got into trouble at school - they got another row at home for behaving in a manner that led to them getting into trouble in the first place...

Lbmgirl · 20/02/2019 16:04

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ChesterGreySideboard · 20/02/2019 16:17

I'm not talking about teenagers here, kids who are the same height as a teacher, who can swear like troopers and know their rights. I'm talking about little children

I once had a nursery child say ‘fuck you you cunt. You can’t tell me what to do’.

EffYouSeeKaye · 20/02/2019 16:23

YABU. Especially about the snowball. Shock

TildaTurnip · 20/02/2019 16:26

Because it doesn't work

Never found that to be honest. A one off snowball from am excited child? No drama needed!

TildaTurnip · 20/02/2019 16:28

LBMgirl
If you need to use what you yourself have called ‘humiliation’, then you need more training.

Frenchmom · 20/02/2019 16:28

‘Feels like the teacher can’t control the class’
The teacher is in control of the class. Having probably used all her other discipline methods with no success she uses the last one scantioned by the school, to allow her to teach the rest of the class without disruption.
If a child in Reception has not been taught by their parents that bad behaviour had consequences, then the school has to.

drspouse · 20/02/2019 16:30

If a child in Reception has not been taught by their parents that bad behaviour had consequences, then the school has to.
We have taught my DS this, thank you, but he's unable to make the connection. But sitting somewhere else - no humiliation - helps him calm down.
Such a lot of blame of parents and children on this thread, as usual.

shellysheridan · 20/02/2019 16:33

Snowballs are not appropriate at school. I love a snowball fight with my children but not with a class of 30.

ZeldaPrincessOfHyrule · 20/02/2019 16:35

Tilda, I think the snowball incident is separate to the being removed from class point that the OP is trying to make. I can't find where the OP said that her child was removed from class for throwing a snowball, but I'm happy to be corrected on that Smile

BoneyBackJefferson · 20/02/2019 17:14

TildaTurnip

Never found that to be honest. A one off snowball from am excited child? No drama needed!

And yet I have, snowballs, throwing food, using corridors (even classrooms) as shortcuts.

Yes it depends on the child but consistency is the key.

TildaTurnip · 20/02/2019 17:54

Tilda, I think the snowball incident is separate to the being removed from class point that the OP is trying to make

Thanks, you’re right. I had got it a bit mixed up!

ZeldaPrincessOfHyrule · 20/02/2019 18:38

No worries, I could easily have been me that was mixed up, this thread has jumped about a bit!