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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Schools method of discipline AIBU

266 replies

Ninjafox · 19/02/2019 20:16

Not sure if I'm being precious but I'm sure I'll be told either way now. Found out today that DC's school discipline naughty children by sending them to another class to sit on a chair.

My thoughts are this is worse than a telling off as they are actively showing the other children 'look at this naughty child' and humiliating them. This happens as young as reception. At least if they are sent to the head they get a telling off and that's more or less the end of it. It feels a bit like the village stocks or a public flogging. AIBU to think this is a bit off? For reference the school is in a really good catchment and the naughty kids of whom I know a few seem quite mildly naughty tbh.

OP posts:
CherryPavlova · 19/02/2019 21:21

Reception is a very good time to learn that rules apply to them, that actions have consequences and that parents support the school teacher in setting clear expectations and boundaries. Saved a lot of pain later on. Why should 29 children be disrupted by one unruly child?

Sirzy · 19/02/2019 21:22

So what do you expect the lsa to do?

I am sure they would love your miracle answers which in no way make any other children aware that they are misbehaving Hmm

Hedwigsradio · 19/02/2019 21:22

This really worked for my son he was in year one and being noisy/not listening. He was so shocked to be put in a year 6 classroom he has behaved ever since (now year 3) as he is worried they will do it again.

Maelstrop · 19/02/2019 21:23

I’ve taught in very posh areas with Uber M/C families, and in very impoverished areas. The former usually have far more trouble dealing with the idea of little Pancreatitis being told off or disciplined than the latter.

Totally agree! I had a parent tell me I should change my approach to little 'Pancreatitis' the other day as he didn't like me. I was like 'Sure, as soon as he changes his approach of attempting to disrupt and behaving like a very naughty child'!

Fairenuff · 19/02/2019 21:24

< sends OP to sit in another thread until she calms down and sees sense >

LonelyandTiredandLow · 19/02/2019 21:27

My friend who is a teacher was very upset when her youngest was put on the "raincloud" for weeks in a row. She has blinkers towards him IMO (always tells off his older sibling but not her "baby" which is really hard to watch) and complained that it meant the other kids saw him as naughty/angry etc. In all honesty I think it did him the world of good - the one place he can't get away with his behaviour is the school. His brother who she labels as "difficult" was always on the sun - he's so sweet and lovely but she can't see it. I think parents sometimes don't see their children through fresh eyes and the kids can get away with more at home.

SachaStark · 19/02/2019 21:27

Why the emphasis on reception? Surely this is the perfect time to learn that in school, poor behaviour has consequences, and those consequences WILL be adhered to.

clairemcnam · 19/02/2019 21:30

LSAs should be there to support children who need additional support. Not to contain a child who is being naughty. It is far better to stop a child's negative behaviour than just contain it.

SachaStark · 19/02/2019 21:35

I do think that maybe parents need to be told what we were all taught in our PGCEs: that children actually CRAVE boundaries, and the enforcing of them. Because it makes them feel safe and secure, and that somebody is in charge.

missmartini · 19/02/2019 21:36

To emphasise RECEPTION age

Yes because RECEPTION age children can misbehave too...

WorraLiberty · 19/02/2019 21:39

Is RECEPTION with caps lock different to reception somehow?

chilledteacher · 19/02/2019 21:58

@WorraLiberty, it's one step down from RECEPTION don't you know ;)

mineofuselessinformation · 19/02/2019 22:13

To reiterate - are these your child / children we are talking about, or someone else's?

SadOtter · 19/02/2019 22:15

We do this, it's 2 form entry so they go to the other class of the same year, or they'll come out with my intervention groups. If that doesn't work they'll then go to a member of SLT's class, then the head if still messing around.

It isn't about humiliating the child, its just about getting them to quit whatever it is they are doing so everyone else can learn. It is usually the minor things because serious things go straight to the head but a child who is just being irritating a bit of a distraction doesn't really need to when 5 minutes time out generally works. Plus if we start sending kids to the head for the little things what will we do to let them know they are in serious trouble?

SadOtter · 19/02/2019 22:20

they are actively showing the other children 'look at this naughty child' and humiliating them

By the point a child is sent out of class the other children will have already noticed them misbehaving, frankly by this point the other children have normally started getting annoyed by the behaviour too.

Macaroni46 · 19/02/2019 22:21

When my DC were at primary school if you talked during assembly you were made to stand up. Now that was humiliating! My younger DC was made to do this a couple of times. She never misbehaved again. That's ten years ago now and she's a well balanced young woman with no scars from the experience!
I do think some parents these days really do overthink things and positively ruin their children but not enforcing boundaries.

Contraceptionismyfriend · 19/02/2019 22:25

YABU.

Sounds like a very unappealing punishment. Hopefully enough to make the child behave. If they don't behave everyone is aware of the punishment.

Coconut0il · 19/02/2019 22:28

What would you like the LSA to do? I'm in a similar role and would almost always be working with 6+ pupils. If a child has had appropriate warnings they will be sent out, with their work, to work in another class.
It would be very unfair to the group I was working with if I had to leave them to sit with 1 child who was misbehaving.
The comment about not being able to control the class is not true. Some of the teachers with the best classroom management use this and the children quickly learn there is no room for messing about. In fact, I would go as far as to say the opposite is true, I have worked with other teachers where the children have walked all over them due to there being no sanctions in place.

SassitudeandSparkle · 19/02/2019 22:30

Yes, DD's school did this (I'm not a teacher just a parent) it was a multi-form entry so they were just sent to another class in their year.

It's not the first step in the behaviour policy by any means, if they've got to the stage of being sent out then EVERYONE in the class will have seen the behaviour first!

Doobydoobeedoo · 19/02/2019 22:32

"To emphasise RECEPTION age. With 2 LSAs in class and parent helpers."

Parent helpers would not be involved in dealing with poor behaviour or general discipline. The LSAs would be busy supporting the other children.

It's now halfway through the school year. The Reception children will have spent the past 5 or 6 months learning about the school rules and how they should behave in class.

BoneyBackJefferson · 19/02/2019 22:32

Feels like the teacher can't control a class tbh

The PFB entitlement is strong with this one.

Contraceptionismyfriend · 19/02/2019 22:34

Feels like the teacher can't control a class tbh

Feels like some people couldn't be arsed to raise their kids properly before unleashing them on the poor teachers.

pasbeaucoupdegendarme · 19/02/2019 22:38

I love that you think there’s a difference because your school is in a “well to do area”. The privileged children I’ve taught have been amongst the most challenging because they think everything is about them.

Nnnnnineteen · 19/02/2019 22:42

If a child disrupts my class, I am entitled to mete the appropriate discipline that fits the situation. If you don't like the fact your child has disrupted a class to the point they need to be removed, take it up with your child, rather than the school's behaviour policy. A good parent, unless a member of staff has been bang out of order, may possibly roll their eyes a little then back the school 100%. Our issues mainly lie where mummy or daddy explain painstainkingly that the teacher is a twat and they will sort it out on Monday with the head teacher. Enter stage left: the little shit.

ineedaholidaynow · 19/02/2019 22:43

Parent volunteers are not there to help with discipline. I am sure you would be even less impressed OP if your DC came home and told you little Johnny’s mum told me off today. They may ask the child/group they are with to stop playing with pencils, chatting to their neighbour type behaviour, but certainly won’t get involved with anything that would warrant a child being removed from the classroom.

Parent volunteers are usually there to listen to children read, sit with small groups to help guide them with the task they are doing (as explained by the teacher), laminating, sorting out art supplies etc.

DS’s Primary School did this. As a parent helper I saw it in action. Said child would come into the classroom, mumble why they were there, sit at the designated desk and get on with their work. The other children may give them a quick glance and then get on with their work. Said child would then go back to their class after a set period of time