On Sunday my sister invited me and DS 11 up to spend a couple of days with her and her two DC. I thought me and DS could do with a change of scenery so we went yesterday morning. Train tickets cost £70 and the journey was crap, standing all the way.
Anyway we went for a meal at a local pub Before we left we popped to the toilet. My sis called her DS, also 11, into the womens’ toilets. I said to her that I didn’t think it was right that an 11 yo boy should be in the womens’ toilets. Her DS is tiny and he’s no bother but we were in a busy family pub and the toilets had people in and out all the time. She said she didn’t want her DS in the mens’ by himself because it’s not safe. I told her I still disagreed and that he’s too old and he should learn to respect female space.
When we got out her DD 9 said ‘if I saw a boy coming out of the womens’ I’d think it was weird.’ I said to my sis that she’d just heard it out of the mouth of her own DD. Sis went nuts at this. All the walk home she was shouting at me. I still wouldn’t agree with her that it’s fine to allow her 11 yo boy in the womens’ toilets so it went from I don’t agree with you because of x y and z, to ‘you just can’t accept anyone else having an opinion can you.’ I pointed out that I can, I just don’t agree. Then she went batshit, shouting right up in my face, throwing accusations and waving her arms and stamping her feet. She really lost it.
By this time my DS was like wtf? Can we leave, this is crazy. I told him to grab his kit and we went outside to get a taxi.
Sis then comes out twice to try and get us to go back in and stay and I said ‘no, I’m not putting up with that behaviour.’ Then the third time she came out and said sorry she’d lost it and could we please just stay, it was 9:30pm by then. I was about to talk to her and reconsider when she shouted,’’my two kids are in there breaking their hearts because of the way you were shouting,’ so I said ‘no, you’re still blaming me for your behaviour so no, I’m not having that.’
When she went in and we were waiting for the taxi DS said that the last time she’d come out she’d bought her DD out holding a heart shaped love cushion thing. I’ve got bad eyes so I didn’t even see.
So what I want to know is was I being unreasonable? I was so bloody angry that she couldn’t have a disagreement without having a massive toddler tantrum, but more over, that she’d shown her DD that her feelings didn’t matter and gone on to kick off in such a way that completely undermined her DD. Then she’d bought her DD out to use her as emotional blackmail to get us to stay. IMO she behaved terribly but am I over reacting.