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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sister is committing benefit fraud

317 replies

Ellabella989 · 19/02/2019 12:19

My sister has 2 kids and is in a relationship with their father who earns around 50k per year. They all live together in privately rented accommodation (in his name) however my sister pretends to still live with the kids at my parent’s house so she can claim benefits.
They have horrendous debts between them because they live totally outwith their means (2 nice cars on finance, holidays on credit cards, eating out multiple times a week etc. The children are very spoilt with toys and clothes too).

I love my sister but I feel total rage at this situation. I know I should just keep my nose out of it but it all just feels so wrong. AIBU to want to anonymously dob her in?!

OP posts:
Roussette · 19/02/2019 14:44

All those who seem to think it's OK and it would be a worse crime to dob the sister in, are bonkers. This woman is committing fraud, she's stealing and not because she needs it, it's because she is greedy.

Yet the OP is the one getting aggro? It's the wrong person, it's the sister who should be getting it.

At this stage, OP, I would be giving her a chance. I would be saying to her... I hate what you are doing, you are thieving, you are committing fraud and I am that close to telling the authorities. Stop wasting your money on eating out 3 nights a week, stop spoiling your DC, and stop doing this.

I find it totally abhorrent that the OP is told to keep her nose out. Why should she? If one of my DCs were shoplifting, I would wipe the floor with them. Why is this any different? The sister's DH earns £50K and she is stealing money when she doesn't need to.

FishCanFly · 19/02/2019 14:45

I wouldn't dob her in, but warn her - somebody else will. Plus there are spies on Facebook and shit. Doesn't she read Daily Fail at all?

WellGoshDarnIt · 19/02/2019 14:48

OP, you mentioned that she was living with her partner in a privately rented house, but that the tenancy was only in his name? Does the landlord know that she and the kids are living there? I'm a private renter, have been for years, and every landlord I've had wants to know how many people are living in the property. If the landlord finds out that there are 3 extra people living in their property, (particularly children, as they generally cause more wear and tear), they could all find themselves evicted.

Nat6999 · 19/02/2019 14:49

I wouldn't worry, they will get caught sooner or later, the investigation departments of the DWP & HMRC are expanding, it won't be long before there are more staff employed in the fraud investigation sector than in the department's doing the day to day business of handling taxes & benefit payments.

Uptheshard · 19/02/2019 14:50

SHOP HER

Original poster
Ellabella989 · 19/02/2019 14:50

@wellgoshdarnit I’m not 100% sure but I’m assuming the landlord thinks it’s just the partner living there as he also claims single person discount for council tax

OP posts:
Roussette · 19/02/2019 14:52

I also think you should speak to your Mum EllaBella. As you say she is facilitating this and I would be furious if my DM did that.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 19/02/2019 14:52

If one of my DCs were shoplifting, I would wipe the floor with them. Why is this any different?

Exactly!

And if shoplifting and fraud are okay if it's your family - what about hit-and-run car accidents, or burglary, or picking pockets?

Or if they are okay, as it's your family member - how do you stand on bashing old ladies for their savings, or rape or murder?

I know these are silly exaggerations - but if you accept the small things, then where do you stand on the middling ones? When does it become serious enough to report? Or do you just bury your head in the sand and think - "Oh - the Law will catch up with them. Not my responsibility." Because far too many people - often women - do exactly that.

Trumponerous · 19/02/2019 14:52

If you can't persuade your sister to stop can you work on your parents so they see they are helping her potentially into disaster. They could give her notice to leave their house and she can move into partner's house officially.

itsabongthing · 19/02/2019 14:53

I would feel angry about it but more that that would be very worried and scared for her. They don’t mess about with benefit fraud, she’s very likely to be found out and she will be in very serious trouble. I wouldn’t report her but I would have a serious chat and try and get her to see how stupid she is being.

Fairenuff · 19/02/2019 14:53

The trouble is, the same people who wouldn't dob in a family member for benefit fraud obviously wouldn't dob in a family member for tax evasion either.

And even if she is found out and goes to prison that will still be tax payer's money that she's using up. If she would just stop being so selfish she could avoid both of things happening.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 19/02/2019 14:54

Your sister is knowingly stealing money here to fund her current lifestyle.

How would your sister ever know that the information came from you?. The Benefit Fraud Investigation Service is not allowed to tell people the outcome of their investigation any more than they can tell the person being investigated who reported them. If you do not give enough information the Benefit Fraud Investigation Service will not even be able to look into the claim which is why it is important to give as much information as possible. A person can make such a report online and via the telephone.

Roussette · 19/02/2019 14:54

And if shoplifting and fraud are okay if it's your family - what about hit-and-run car accidents, or burglary, or picking pockets?

Too right. Where do you draw the line? Family are meant to be honest with each other, not helping someone to steal by turning away and ignoring.

DpWm · 19/02/2019 14:56

To be honest here, she'll be on CTC or something, right? You realise that's a meagre £60 - £65 per week.
It's hardly life changing.

I don't see her on any more that that, unless she's fraudulenty claiming ESA meaning claiming she's incapable of work due to being seriously ill or disabled which could bring in up to £150 per week.

The number or wealthy people who dodge tax through offshore schemes and various dodgy loopholes are far higher than ppl like the OPs sister, the amount of tax dodged by these ppl is far far higher, and they are the ones we need to chase, condemn and the system enabling them scrutinised.

Disfordarkchocolate · 19/02/2019 14:59

I'd be furious but i couldn't report my sister. I would spend far less time with her, I've been on benefits and its hard, it's not money for treats and nice meals out when you can't be arsed to learn how to budget.

DpWm · 19/02/2019 14:59

Losing touch with your sister and her family forever and landing them in serious legal trouble over (roughly) £3,200 per year sounds seriously petty.

27dresses · 19/02/2019 14:59

One rule for the rich another rule for the plebs

Fitnessrules101 · 19/02/2019 15:00

Dpwm I don’t really think the amount matters does it? It’s obviously disgusting when big companies do it, but I think the same about individuals.

Out to interest, question to the people in this feed. If you could get away with tax ivasion would you?

Playmytune · 19/02/2019 15:01

What address does she use for her and children’s GP? What if the children need a home visit? Surely the health visitor comes to see her, which address does she come too?
Which address does she use for nursery/school catchment area?

I cannot believe the number of people saying not to dob her in. Are they in the same situation and defrauding the country?
This country would be in a considerably better state without thieves like your sister. Imagine what good could be done if all the money benefit thieves are given was put into healthcare or education.
Are those who think benefit thieves shouldn’t be reported quite happy to subside this, because that’s what they are doing?
If a couple of extra percentages are put on income tax, to keep the country going, because of scum (that’s what your sister and her partner are) like this, will those who think benefit fraud is okay be happy?
Don’t they realise that they are subsidising your sister and family to have a way of life which is probably much better than many of them do?
Your mother is also facilitating this? Is she happy if her pension increase is less because of benefit thieves? Or, if she is still working, is she happy she needs to work longer, before she is entitled to a state pension?
Report her anonymously and like a pp said don’t tell anyone, partner included, what you have done. You are doing her and your mother a favour as the longer it goes on the higher the penalty will be.
She’s will be caught out at some stage and the sooner the better!

Fitnessrules101 · 19/02/2019 15:02

*evasion

Fairenuff · 19/02/2019 15:03

The number or wealthy people who dodge tax through offshore schemes and various dodgy loopholes are far higher than ppl like the OPs sister, the amount of tax dodged by these ppl is far far higher, and they are the ones we need to chase, condemn and the system enabling them scrutinised.

So would you dob a family member in for tax evasion then DpWm?

Fitnessrules101 · 19/02/2019 15:06

Also the mass amount of people who dodge tax and commit benefit fraud accumulates to a huge amount of cash. I couldn’t be friends with someone who would do that, just not the sort of people I want in my life.

Original poster
Ellabella989 · 19/02/2019 15:07

@playmytune everything for the kids is registered at my parents’ address. When she had midwife visits with the baby she had to have them at my parents house and tried to make it look as if they actually lived there :-(

OP posts:
Playmytune · 19/02/2019 15:10

@Fitnessrules101 I wouldn’t, as I’m too honest and if I did something like this I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night for worrying about it and wondering when I was going to be caught! The stress would be unbearable.
Better off poor but having a clear conscience.

Fitnessrules101 · 19/02/2019 15:12

@playmytune I couldn’t agree more. I am so shocked at how many people could. I hate owing anyone anything.