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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sister is committing benefit fraud

317 replies

Ellabella989 · 19/02/2019 12:19

My sister has 2 kids and is in a relationship with their father who earns around 50k per year. They all live together in privately rented accommodation (in his name) however my sister pretends to still live with the kids at my parent’s house so she can claim benefits.
They have horrendous debts between them because they live totally outwith their means (2 nice cars on finance, holidays on credit cards, eating out multiple times a week etc. The children are very spoilt with toys and clothes too).

I love my sister but I feel total rage at this situation. I know I should just keep my nose out of it but it all just feels so wrong. AIBU to want to anonymously dob her in?!

OP posts:
LivingOnAnIsland · 19/02/2019 15:12

And he's claiming a single person discount for council tax? SHOP THEM BOTH!!!! NOW!!!! If she's brazenly living this kind of lifestyle, there could be any number of people that would shop her, so unlikely to come back to you. And the longer she leaves it, the more dramatic the repercussions. She WILL get caught.

Roussette · 19/02/2019 15:13

There's plenty of whatabout-ery on this thread... companies not paying enough tax etc, that has nothing to do with this particular scenario. It starts small and it affects everyone because it's stealing. Whether that's some pop star hiding his money somewhere to dodge tax or OP's sister blatantly fiddling the system, is irrelevant.

It's wrong

Playmytune · 19/02/2019 15:16

Ellabella This is obviously eating away at you and giving you stress you don’t deserve! I really feel for you. It isn’t easy dealing with this but it needs to be reported for you own piece of mind.

longwayoff · 19/02/2019 15:18

Are these benefit scrounger threads - my neighbour, my sister, my friend - going to become a daily occurrence? Luxury foods, meals out, many holidays yah yah. Its not fair, who can I tell? This is the third in last few days.

Fairenuff · 19/02/2019 15:19

Hmm, all the people claiming that they wouldn't dob their family member in have suddenly gone very quiet when I ask if they would dob them in for tax evasion.

I'm guessing that they are too ashamed to admit that they wouldn't.

Piffle11 · 19/02/2019 15:20

Is your DSis prepared to accept the consequences if she is discovered? This happened to a woman I know: because she and she alone was signing the paperwork, the onus fell completely on her, not on her DH. She was the one in court, she was the one facing a possible prison sentence, and she was the one with her face plastered all over the local paper. And now she's the one with the criminal record.

NameChangeNugget · 19/02/2019 15:20

Enabling a criminal wouldn’t sit comfortably with me either however I couldn’t shop my own sister in

drspouse · 19/02/2019 15:22

So presumably she's also committing school admissions fraud, as well as the benefit fraud, council tax fraud, and defrauding the landlord.

WFTisgoingoninmyhead · 19/02/2019 15:23

I reported my Sister and her DH about 25 years ago for much the same thing and I still feel proud of myself as they are Cunt Fuckeries (my new meaning for CF's) and they deserved everything they got. My DH and I were working 40 hours each a week and couldn't afford to take our kids away as the mortgage rate was sky high and they were just off to Greece for two weeks and loving telling me all about it so after I dropped them all at the airport I rang the fraud line. I hate people who are so entitled they commit fraud on a daily basis. No wonder our real poor are so desperate.Angry

Bibijayne · 19/02/2019 15:23

Anonymous call. They'll either investigate or they won't. She and her partner are stealing.

Original poster
Ellabella989 · 19/02/2019 15:24

@WTF what happened to them if you don’t mind me asking?

OP posts:
lboogy · 19/02/2019 15:24

I don't think you love your sister at all. I think you're a horrible person and I would never want you for a sister.

You know her situation is dire so why would you want to make it worse by reporting her. She could go to prison or be stuck paying back the government for years on end

I honestly can't believe it would cross your mind to be so wicked

I wouldn't even bother reporting strangers let alone family

MaybeitsMaybelline · 19/02/2019 15:26

This makes me so angry.

Walk through any city at night and look at those poor sods sleeping in dirty sleeping bags or tents if they got lucky. Is it still Ok to those that don't think this is a big deal? Maybe those treats for the kids that she feels they are so entitled to would buy them a few nights shelter and warmth.

She is a , and deserves to get caught. Let's hope it happens soon.

Oldbutstillgotit · 19/02/2019 15:28

I cannot believe the number of posters telling you to ignore this . It is theft, pure and simple . I worked with DWP until my retirement and I would not hesitate to report someone ( and have) for benefit fraud. Benefits are there to support people with no other source of income not for treats . I may have missed it but why can’t your sister work ?

Original poster
Ellabella989 · 19/02/2019 15:29

@oldbutstillgotit she just doesn’t want to Angry

OP posts:
RomanyQueen1 · 19/02/2019 15:30

For that amount depending on how long they have been doing it, there will be a prison sentence. Who is prosecuted depends on who signed on the dotted line.
They will get caught soon and their kids could be taken into care until they are out.

HisBetterHalf · 19/02/2019 15:32

We tax payers are funding her fraud so why should the OP be classed as U? Why should I be paying taxes to fund these people

WFTisgoingoninmyhead · 19/02/2019 15:33

Ellabella989 She went to court and was spared prison as by the time it went to court, they had split up and she was a lone parent, as it was her doing the fraud he got off scott free. She was ordered to do community service and it was published in the papers. She knows it was me who reported her as I told her about 10 years ago. We don't speak now over this and lots of other stuff, but as I said I still feel very proud of myself. I just stopped myself from reporting her again 10 years ago for stealing a dead mans money only because she had just started to care for a grandchild her delinquent child failed miserably. Oh god my family should so fucking horrible, but it is just her, honest!!!

MumUnderTheMoon · 19/02/2019 15:34

YANBU she is stealing money from the public purse. It's disgusting frankly how dare she!! I wouldn't see it as dobbing her in, god I hate that phrase people doing wrong use it to stop people doing right.

Lightofday · 19/02/2019 15:34

I wouldn't grass on my own sister, but I'd tell her to fix it 'or else'. If she didn't..I still don't know if I would grass...(unless she is an utter c*nt...in which case I think that trumps blood xD) but i'll certainly let her THINK I am only giving her one chance to stop 'or else'.

AcrossthePond55 · 19/02/2019 15:40

I worked as a fraud investigator (in the US). If I had a penny for every person who said "But I know someone who is !" yet when I handed them the anonymous reporting form said "Oh, I can't turn them in! They're my family/friend!" I'd be a very rich woman.

If you aren't part of the solution, then you're part of the problem. And if you know of fraud and don't report it, you're just as guilty as the perpetrator, I don't care who the person is to you. If it were murder or drugs activity you were concealing, you'd be an accessory to the crime and could be prosecuted yourself.

And if you don't report it, then don't bitch about the state of affairs for the poor and needy in whatever country you live in. Because you're contributing to their poverty by standing by and watching needed funds go out to people who do not qualify for them.

Go ahead, flame me. I don't care!

Roussette · 19/02/2019 15:40

You know her situation is dire so why would you want to make it worse by reporting her. She could go to prison or be stuck paying back the government for years on end

iboogy. You obviously havent read the thread. Her situation is not dire, her DH is earning £50K, they eat out 3 times a week and spoil their kids.

Calling the OP 'wicked' is madness. Are you the sister??

LoisWilkerson1 · 19/02/2019 15:43

You need to be completely honest with her about how you feel, tell her what you think about her. It will be a weight off your shoulders and might get her to start acting responsibly. I think shopping a family member would be a step too far though.

Fairenuff · 19/02/2019 15:44

And if you don't report it, then don't bitch about the state of affairs for the poor and needy in whatever country you live in. Because you're contributing to their poverty by standing by and watching needed funds go out to people who do not qualify for them.

Agreed.

Would you stand there and watch your dsis rob a pensioner and give their cash to her children to spend on treats? If not, why not? It's the same thing.

Obviouspretzel · 19/02/2019 15:44

@WTFisgoingoninmyhead so when you reported them, did it help you and your DH pay the mortgage? What the fuck has your mortgage got to do with anything