To not want to be contacted by PIL about this whilst on holiday?

[Holidayrage]

We (me, DH, 3DC) are currently abroad on holiday and have been since Friday. To avoid drip feeding, DH and I both work, DH is full time and I work 4 days per week. I am 21 weeks into a stressful pregnancy, having suffered a partial placental abruption at 19 weeks. As a result I am having to take things very easy. Plus, this is the only chance we will get for a family break until the end of May.

PIL called this evening and apparently want to talk to me about liability insurance. This has nothing to do with my area of work at all, but apparently as I am a solicitor they want to ask me. This has now caused a row with DH as apparently I am being very unreasonable in not wanting to deal with this whilst on holiday. Honestly when I saw the number come up I thought they must be calling with bad news...since we saw them only 3 days ago (the day we left) and are back on Friday anyway.

So, mumsnet jury, AIBU not to want to be bothered on holiday about this?!

I agree with sally

That’s how it is for us, in laws do something thoughtless and we row.

YANBU! Who on earth wants to talk their in laws through a financial decision while on holiday trying to relax?!

They should only be calling you in an emergency. Very rude and thoughtless of them to interrupt your holiday with this.

YANBU OP

Polite “no” should suffice for now and if your DH still insists that it can’t wait till you’re back I’d be loosing my shit with him very loudly —been there,done that— It’s your holiday for goodnees sake.

I wouldn't give them advice on this at all. They sound like a bit of a nightmare- and if you give them advice and they act on it and later decide the policy isn't suitable or can't claim I think they will blame you.

If you employ an advisor then you have a professional relationship with distance-whereas with family they are always there if it goes wrong.

If they make a claim and it's turned down- they will say it's your fault... and then what?

Do people never do kind things for their families?

There is no advice to give! It’s not the OPs field! A text saying as such would have been all that was needed instead of turning this into a MN drama.

People do kind things for their families all the time! A good example is leaving them to enjoy a much needed holiday in peace!

Do people never do kind things for their families?

All the time here in many different ways. This thread is typical of a large number of women on MN. I find it utterly bizarre.

Do people never do kind things for their families? Yes, but then again mine wouldn't bother me on holiday! They'd respect my having some down time and would happily leave me undisturbed to enjoy it!

As would I if they were on holiday!

It isn't bizarre to want undisturbed down time, is it?

Its not the “doing favours/being kind to family” thing that is the issue here. OP’s DH has been a massive helmet about it and really pushy.

DH has stomped off in an actual huff about this, has called me ‘weird’ for not wanting to deal with it and has told PIL I will call tomorrow!

Your PILs are being pushy but your DH is behaving like a weapons-grade twat. A huff? Is he a teenager? And how dare he tell people things on your behalf?

Tell him to jog on and block their number. And obviously don't speak to them if they call on his phone. I don't know how they think you can help.

I would 100%

• not call the ILS
• tell DH to fuck off with his foot stomping and guilt trip.

and, for the benefit of a previous poster, I absolutely would tell my own parents to fuck off in these circumstances (and have done).

I am an IP lawyer & my mum can’t ubderstand what I do & thinks it’s fairly pointless:
“if we sell the house can you do the conveyancing?” “No”
“Can you update our wills?” “No”
etc etc

Update!

PIL called first thing this morning. I answered and they asked me a very technical question about liability insurance and contractual clauses, about which I had literally no idea. I (politely) talked it through with them and that seems to be the end of the matter.

I still don’t think I should have had my holiday disturbed for this but I do appreciate the alternative viewpoints about helping family out.

(And for those asking: we drove on holiday, no way would flying be allowed. There is a local maternity hospital 15 minutes away. The pregnancy isn’t yet viable unfortunately so if the placenta goes it goes and there would be nothing anyone could do for the baby at home or anywhere else - as was bleakly explained to me when I was admitted two weeks ago - but I am hoping to get to 24 weeks at least 🤞🏼)

I think you could have taken the call and told them it isn't your area and do you couldn't advise them. It would have taken minutes.
Yes, it's inconsiderate to phone but some people are the sort to have a thought and make a phone call and not give it any further consideration - they mean no harm. Also there's the element of not really understanding what is involved for a solicitor.
There would be a problem if your ILs or husband were expecting you to do this work while on holiday and that would deserve a huge fuck off to all of them, but a few minutes phone call is not a big ask in a family imo.

Holidayrage hope all goes well with the pregnancy and in 19 weeks time you are lumbering around wondering whether it will ever end 🤞

Did your DH apologise, OP?

X posted with you. Glad it's resolved, but I do think it's worth a conversation with your husband about not promising your services to anyone without asking you first. That's about being polite and respectful

Thank you Gennz18.

Nothing more has been said today about last night’s huff although DH has taken all three DC out and I am lying on the sofa watching crap TV

I don’t understand if it’s not your area of expertise why you rang them. Especially as you’d been so annoyed at them asking.
Baffling.

Do people never do kind things for their families?

Giving professional advice, outside your own liability insurance or that of your employer, and without an engagement letter or its equivalent, is never wise. There's a reason why doctors only treat their families in emergencies.

@greatduckcookery it was a short update. Says the pil rang the op not the other way around. If you’d read all 4 or 5 lines that is perfectly clear. Baffling.

Good luck with the rest of the holiday and pregnancy.

Kindness and consideration should work both ways x

Ok it’s baffling why the OP spoke with them given that she was so furious and that it wasn’t her field. Big old fuss about nothing.

A simple text yesterday to say that it wasn’t her area would have been all that was needed and then turn off the phone.

The OP is on holiday; when one goes on holiday it must be galling to still be expected to give out advice, even to family. Especially to family!

I used to work as a legal secretary, not a legal qualification to my name, and I only ever worked in property (and a brief spell in civil litigation) but it never stopped my sister ringing to get advice about her friends' divorces and break-ups. None of the firms I worked for even handled matrimonial!

Not only would I not call them I'd now point blank to assist them in anything. Punishment for being so dam excited entitled and rude.

I'd also to tell DH to fuck off.