DH says I should complain about this situation to make the airline aware but I am not sure

[Redcampions]

Got back from a week away in New York a few days ago.
Me and DH got on the plane the plane had rows four seats in the middle. DH was on one end, me next to him. The seat next to me was free and then there was another lady at the other end.

One of the last passengers on was this very large lady who ended up sat next to me. She ended up taking a good bit of my seat, the armrest could not be out down, she could not get the tray table done. I soon realised that when I put my tray down it was digging into her and every time she moved it was flipping up anyway. So I put it up and left it
DH is quite tall and he did offer to move but I don’t think he would have fit in three quarter of a seat to be honest. We are now just after take off and I can feel my fibromyalgia and begin to kick because can’t move properly. DH pretents to go to the toliet and discreetly the flight attendant asks if there is anywhere I can move to.

The flight attendant says no the flight is full and says the lady should have booked two seats especially as the arm rest doesn’t go down.

I manage to sit for a hour and then I get up and stand in the aisle. The flight attendant asks if I am ok and I said yep I just needed to move for a while.

The inflight drink comes so I sit down and have a drink without using my tray.

When the meal was served I put my tray down as there was no other way I could eat it and I have diabetes so had to eat.

The women then nudges me and asks me to put my tray up and I said no sorry I needed to eat and I can’t do it with my tray up. The women then calls the flight attendant over and complains and the flight attendant says I am entitled to use my tray as I want. The women bursts into tears. My husband offers to swap with her then she can have more room with the ailse but she says she is sitting in her booked seat and it being shamed into moving.
I gulp my meal down and raise my tray as quickly as I can.

By this time I am in agony and on the verge of tears myself and keep having to move into the aisle. The flight attendant takes pity on me and lets me sit in one of the jumpsears till we start coming into land. I was so grateful.

On landing a returned to my seat and the women turns to me and says I have made her feel awful and I have fat shamed her. The guy in front turns around and said it was not my fault and most people would not have been as polite as me. She bursts into tears again.

I have never been so glad to get off the plane.

Two days later I am still in agony as it has triggered a flare and feel awful. My DH says I need to complain and say the airline should have made her book 2 seats. I just don’t know as I know the seats on aircraft are not generous anyway and she could be big through no fault of her own and may not be able to afford to seats in the future.

I am up now in agony and can’t sleep and it’s all going through my mind with me thinking was I horrible and could i have handled things better.

I bloody hate flying

I would definitely write to the airline outlining the events just to make them aware of it. If nobody ever complains then things won't change. I have seen one of those airport documentaries and a passenger was taken aside and told they'd need 2 seats, so it is done on some airlines. It's a safety issue as well as the right to be comfortable on a flight. I'd have probably left the arm rest down and called a steward when the passenger wanted to push it up. At that point something should have been done, even if it meant the staff rearranging seats. That passenger was a bitch for not accepting your Dh's offer to move. The only drama queen in this situation was her.

I soon realised that when I put my tray down it was digging into her and every time she moved it was flipping up anyway.

There is no way someone could be that big surely?

Mumsnet, you shouldn’t have deleted Whereareyouspot’s “hmm about fibro” post, you should’ve left it there to shame them.

Crew were fab to offer you their seat.

I wouldn't complain I'd be thanking them

They have no way of knowing pax size etc. Maybe request or pay for ex leg room seats next time

That’s why the woman had to sit in the middle - so she didn’t unbalance the plane. Like a boat.

I soon realised that when I put my tray down it was digging into her and every time she moved it was flipping up anyway.

There is no way someone could be that big surely?

Yes they can. Those seats are small. I was sat next to someone like that once, he had the middle of a row of 3, his poor wife was squashed against the window and I had the aisle. He stank too. It was a very unpleasant 4 hours, but at least I could spill into the aisle. I had to, I probably had only two thirds of my seat. People like that know exactly what they’re doing. And I saw his wife’s passport when we landed, she was Lady something. I’m sure they could’ve afforded 2 seats. Grrrrr!

Have not rtft but I am myself a size 20-22. My husband is larger than me (not as big as One/Luther in The Umbrella Academy but nonetheless big guy)....So we always pay extra to reserve aisle seats/the row with more legroom and usually sit separately. We have little ones and I also tend to book a row of three sat with my kids.
That makes sense to me and is considerate of others.
As a plus-size person myself, I do judge other passengers who cannot be arsed to show decent courtesy. The only excuse would be if airline screwed up a reserved seat booking.

YANBU. I hope you feel better soon. That woman sounds v unpleasant.

Yes you should write to the airline. I think every time it happens to someone, they should contact the airline. Formally let them know. Otherwise the airlines can carry on and not address this ever increasing (sorry, no pun intended) problem.

I would write in a 'do you have a policy/what is your policy on seats and larger persons. And explain your experience and your own health consequences.

I have to carry medical equipment for 2 kids on all flights. I have to let the airline know in advance, and carry documentation confirming the need for this, even though I never have to use this equipment on a light and it's no larger that a laptop. Should there be an onus on larger people to inform the airline they are larger?

Perhaps complain is the wrong word.

The cabin crew did what they could, you are praising them but the policy of the airline needs to be reviewed.

Write to them and make sure to point out how good the crew was.

People over certain size shouldn't be allowed to board unless they have 2 seats. Mean as it sounds it's not just about comfort of others, but safety as well. I am on a bigger side, but nowhere near to what you described and I make sure to book either window or aisle seat so I can scoop myself up away from other passengers. It's just a common courtesy and common sense fgs.

Hope you feel better soon.

Yes do complain. The seats are too small for lots of people for different reasons. They should have a range of smaller cheaper seats through larger seats to booking two seats.

Was the person sitting on the other side of the passenger also squashed, or did they have the armrest down and use their tray normally?

I'm a larger size and AFAIK the rule of thumb is that if the armrest can't go down, you need to purchase 2 seats. The crew should have checked that she could fit in the seat before take off.
In my opinion, you are within your rights to complain about what happened.

OP If I were you I'd complain, as embarrassing it is ground staff need to be trained and start dealing with this issue. It's not fair to pay full price for a seat which is half filled by someone else!
And for those who require two seats should pay for two seats and any additional costs should not be passed on to other passengers. It isn't a unreasonable expectation to get onto a flight and be able to use your tray table and have room to move about.

The woman was also being ridiculous for accusing you of fat shaming. Had it been me I wouldn't have been so polite back to her.

I have not read all the responses, so somebody might already have suggested similar
I would most certainly write to the company, not to complain, but to thank them for accommodating you in the best way they could given the very difficult circumstances the fat woman put them in. And expressing full confidence that in a similar situation they would deal with it differently so the fat woman would not endanger the comfort and safety of other passengers.
The situation would have been very different had the fat woman apologised for her size, explained that she suffered with xyz condition and would be perfectly happy to swap to an aisle seat.
She could maybe not help being oversized, but she did not have to be so intransigent about it.

Those saying the crew were nice, yes they were after take off, but they must have failed in their checks also? At that size I'm guessing the passenger needed an extension belt (OP still hasn't mentioned this part?) and therefore they should have noted at that point the armrest could not go down and addressed the situation before take off, even if it did delay the flight.

I would have addressed it at that point myself if they didn't notice.

It should be standard that if you cannot fit in the seat with the arm rests down then you will be removed from the flight unless you've appropriately purchased two seats to spread over. And it should be clear as part of booking your seat. So no moaning.

I'm quite small, and therefore fit very nicely into a standard seat. Somehow though, like a pp, this seems to make people think that they can sort of expand into my unused space, take over a bit of my leg room and squash me and my arms. WTF?

Sounds like a awful flight, I would have felt the same as you OP, I need to be able to move around and stretch and I would have felt claustrophobic. I don’t think you can complain though as there’s not much that could have been done, she should have considered her size when booking and booked a extra seat or more space in business class but she didn’t. There were no spare seats so she couldn’t be moved and you couldn’t be moved.

I'm not particularly small myself but I am lacking sympathy for the lady here. Going by the OP's description this wasn't a remotely borderline case, she was massively too big for the seat. She knew fine well before she boarded that she wasn't going to fit.

I agree with PP who say seats are sold in units of one seat. If you don't fit, you need to buy another class of seat or two seats. Airlines need to come up with an approach to dealing with that but passengers like the OP shouldn't have to suffer.

The lady would have been screwed if she'd been sat next to me or my DH - neither of us overflow our seats remotely but DH is tall and broad shouldered and I have a big ass. It wouldn't be a case of us being squished, she simply wouldn't have fit. I fly a lot though and I'm afraid if I'd seen her coming I'd have had no qualms about putting the armrest down and occupying it to force the issue - the cabin crew should not have permitted her to fly like that.

The seats are tiny to begin with so it's a problem the airlines have brought onto their passengers. As it was along haul flight presumably the woman would have gone through check in so ground crew had a chance to deal with this issue before she boarded. I think airlines need to take responsibility for the mess they have created and offer larger people a second seat for free.

You didn't do anything wrong OP, you coped really well. I am claustrophobic and would have struggled to sit in a seat that was half taken up by someone else.

I don’t think that PP’s health issues are relevant. Any passenger would have been similarly inconvenienced/put in a dangerous situation. Just write to airline stating the facts PP, you don’t want them to be able to go off at a tangent coz you were in any way a special, or one off, case.

Spartacus: "the flight attendant says I am entitled to use my tray as I want"

This is the bit that got me. Entitled much????

I think you've mis-read that. The flight attendant wasn't suggesting that the OP was being entitled, just that she should be able to use her tray.

I think you've mis-read that. The flight attendant wasn't suggesting that the OP was being entitled, just that she should be able to use her tray

Oh no! I meant that the woman was entitled, not the OP! Sorry for any confusion!

I would phone up and ask them to make a record of your experience,
so that they can follow up as they do need to ensure policies relating to this situation are in place.

However I think it is unfair to say they should buy 2 seats. In this situation as she could not fit within the seat she should have been told to leave the plane and catch the next available flight that had room for her to have a spare seat next to her. This may have wasted a little time with regards to removing her baggage but is the safest and most sensible policy. Staff should identify passengers who may have this issue before they board so they can arrange a spare seat/alternative flight with a spare seat and it is very poor that they didn't.

I feel for her though as she would have been very uncomfortable also and not everyone can afford paying 2x for flights.

Maybe request or pay for ex leg room seats next time

Really? Or maybe obese passengers should pay for extra room in the form of two seats.

etta0 larger people should book 2 seats if they want to guarantee that there is space for them on the flight they want to get otherwise they have to wait a long time for a flight that's not full. Perhaps they could be refunded if the flight they booked 2 seats for is not full at take off...

It's not just a case of passenger comfort but safety, what if a large person gets stuck or is very slow in an emergency and blocks other people's exit? They need to be seated where they block as few people as possible