DH says I should complain about this situation to make the airline aware but I am not sure

[Redcampions]

Got back from a week away in New York a few days ago.
Me and DH got on the plane the plane had rows four seats in the middle. DH was on one end, me next to him. The seat next to me was free and then there was another lady at the other end.

One of the last passengers on was this very large lady who ended up sat next to me. She ended up taking a good bit of my seat, the armrest could not be out down, she could not get the tray table done. I soon realised that when I put my tray down it was digging into her and every time she moved it was flipping up anyway. So I put it up and left it
DH is quite tall and he did offer to move but I don’t think he would have fit in three quarter of a seat to be honest. We are now just after take off and I can feel my fibromyalgia and begin to kick because can’t move properly. DH pretents to go to the toliet and discreetly the flight attendant asks if there is anywhere I can move to.

The flight attendant says no the flight is full and says the lady should have booked two seats especially as the arm rest doesn’t go down.

I manage to sit for a hour and then I get up and stand in the aisle. The flight attendant asks if I am ok and I said yep I just needed to move for a while.

The inflight drink comes so I sit down and have a drink without using my tray.

When the meal was served I put my tray down as there was no other way I could eat it and I have diabetes so had to eat.

The women then nudges me and asks me to put my tray up and I said no sorry I needed to eat and I can’t do it with my tray up. The women then calls the flight attendant over and complains and the flight attendant says I am entitled to use my tray as I want. The women bursts into tears. My husband offers to swap with her then she can have more room with the ailse but she says she is sitting in her booked seat and it being shamed into moving.
I gulp my meal down and raise my tray as quickly as I can.

By this time I am in agony and on the verge of tears myself and keep having to move into the aisle. The flight attendant takes pity on me and lets me sit in one of the jumpsears till we start coming into land. I was so grateful.

On landing a returned to my seat and the women turns to me and says I have made her feel awful and I have fat shamed her. The guy in front turns around and said it was not my fault and most people would not have been as polite as me. She bursts into tears again.

I have never been so glad to get off the plane.

Two days later I am still in agony as it has triggered a flare and feel awful. My DH says I need to complain and say the airline should have made her book 2 seats. I just don’t know as I know the seats on aircraft are not generous anyway and she could be big through no fault of her own and may not be able to afford to seats in the future.

I am up now in agony and can’t sleep and it’s all going through my mind with me thinking was I horrible and could i have handled things better.

I bloody hate flying

Weighed not weighted, obviously no extra pounds and stones needed.

I definitely think you should complain.

Most airlines have a policy that if you can't lower the armrest you must book and pay for a second seat, and if the flight is full then you'll have to take a different flight.

The check-in staff failed to implement this, and so did the cabin crew, and you are the one who paid the price.

You were more than police to this woman.
I wouldn’t have had the same amount of patience as you.
I would complain to the airline

I haven't had a chance to read all the replies, but I wanted to answer as someone who both has fibro (and CFS, and 2 autoimmune diseases) and is overweight.

I absolutely agree that you should have been able to get the seat arm and tray down. Tbh the lady must have been very large if the tray wouldn't go down - never had trouble with this or the seat arm myself and I'm honestly quite big. I tend to sit by the window next to my husband as I have an iron bladder (not like him ha ha) and don't want people knocking me as they would in an aisle seat.

If I was as big as the lady you met yes I would be mortified at not fitting in the seat but I wouldn't be claiming fat-shaming and crying to get my way. I do think psychologically it may be hard to accept you might need two seats. Having a tester seat out of the way of all the people waiting to board (i.e. public humiliation if you don't fit) at the airport is fine, but wouldn't it be too late? If the plane is full, you can't afford it, there's then no way to sit a parent with her child etc. I don't think it's a simple solution.

The other thing they should do is put rigid dividers between the seats so that you can't encroach. This is a great idea, completely separate the seats.

A similar thing happened to me on a transatlantic a few months ago. I tried to be as sensitive as I could but the air hostesses weren't as nice as the ones you encountered and strictly forced the person to put the arm rest down and said quite loudly that: if they aren't " fit enough to travel" then they shouldn't be on the plane.

I dont mean that it should be impossible to remove the divider between seats - so if you have have paid for two you can use both or if you child is next to you you can remove it so they can lean on you etc. But if the divider being there was the norm, and you may be had to ask to remove it, this couldn't be allowed to happen to encroach on someone's space. It could go far enough forward to stop legs spreading out into the next person's area.

There is a very simple way for the airlines to resolve this and I believe some of the US airlines have already implemented it.
At the point of booking the airline advises dimensions of seat and states that for passengers safety and comfort, all passengers must be able to fit comfortably in one seat and state that this generally means if you're over x weight and y height they are unlikely to do so and need to purchase two seats or may be declined boarding. Then offer people the option to purchase a second seat at a reduced price obviously guaranteeing it will be beside the original seat. Of course there is a cost to the airline but nothing compared to the potential lawsuits if they don't come up with a policy on this for everybody's sake. I was once wedged in beside a huge man on a short business trip, apart from the discomfort I was acutely aware that should we need to get out of the plane quickly I wouldn't be able to get past him and he took considerable time to get in and out of the seat.

OP definitely complain- airlines need to sort out how they handle this.

As a very short person I have also thought being charged per kilo for body weight and luggage would be a great idea

OP I'm impressed with how polite you were. I doubt I'd have been able my cool. I'd be tempted to keep telling her when she was encroaching on my space.

Op, airlines are not allowed to take off or land with the arm rests up.

If you're genuine it couldn't go down and they took of and landed with it up, then you need to write to thr airline and write to the civil aviation authority. Inform them you are also writing to thr Ca. They broke the regulations and this is serious. It's a safety issue.

What should have happened is crew should have informed the pilot and if two seats couldn't be found for the passenger, or a bigger seat then she should have been asked to leave the plane. Because as said, they are not permitted to take off or land with the arm rests up.

So yes you need to report it.

"As a very short person I have also thought being charged per kilo for body weight and luggage would be a great idea grin"

It would stop the 'solution' (cheating?) of wearing lots of clothes and massive pockets to get around the luggage allowance :)

In this situation I would have complained as soon as it became obvious that the arm rest and tray couldn't be put down. You have paid for a seat and you didn't get what you paid for. If she was that large she should have either paid for 2 seats or booked premium economy/somewhere else where there is more room.

I would definitely be writing to the airline and complaining. They need to deal with these things at checkin.

I think that airlines should put a hip and waist measurement on the website. Followed up with "if you measure above this you must book a second seat. It isn't fat shaming it practical. We all no some people are overweight because of illness/disability and in this case perhaps a letter could be provided to the airline to provide the extra seat for free/ at a reduced cost but the fact is that most people are fat because they eat too much. Why should we shy away from being honest about the result of these choices. I am overweight ( though I do still fit in one airline seat) but if I ever got so large that I was going to encroach on another persons space I would buy a second seat and consider it the price I pay for eating too much.

I'd be tempted to keep telling her when she was encroaching on my space.

I doubt she gave a shit unfortunately.

Sorry Jennifer, I'm feeling grouchy today. I was meaning that I'd tell her to get on her own seat. Loudly if necessary. And probably be rude. If the op had to lean/perch why shouldn't the other person have to turn sideways and 'lie' on their side so as to take less room. Of course she'd be uncomfortable but that's her problem.

Responding to the why should obese people pay for 2 seats if they have a medical problem? posts; DH has 34 inch legs - he pays for extra leg room or premium economy on long haul flights to be comfortable.

It’s a cost to shoulder, but he would be very uncomfortable otherwise which would have an impact on our holiday. We see it as a cost very much like insurance and kennels for the dogs. Without it we don’t go.

Why wouldn’t an obese person also wish to be comfortable?

I agree with the posters who say they should put the seat dimensions on the information when booking with the condition that you should not book unless you can fit in the seat. I also think airlines should have a few rows of larger seats which people should then book if they can't fit in the normal sized seat.

So rather then a row of 4, there would be 3 larger seats costing 1/3 more.

Passengers would have to book these seats when required

You can find the dimensions of the seats, I'm pretty sure. I'm by no means enormous, but have a large arse and am always paranoid about fitting in seats so before flying I like to look to put my mind at ease. Surely if you're as large as this lady you'd be self aware enough to think you might need to check?

I like the idea of a 'seat' at check in like the have the baggage size checker! Everyone has to make sure that their cabin bags aren't too big then quickly sit in the seat to check that they fit there too. Otherwise pay extra for a large seat or an extra seat. (Obviously oversized passengers can't go into the hold with the oversized luggage).

How's that going to work on a plane that's full? And can you imagine the outcry at people feeling humiliated at being fat-shamed into a publicly-placed seat in the check-in area? Not to mention that they'll probably have checked in online already and are just at bag-drop.

I think you should complain, OP, and at the very least, get yourself a shed-load of air miles so you could maybe upgrade next time.

If airlines had a trial seat it would need to be at a much earlier stage in the booking process then people could make an informed choice early on. Not sure how though?

The dimensions are available online so anyone can view them. I’m an 18, I fit in the seat fine but I did get jammed in next to a ‘spherically challenged’ chap. That was not comfortable for 3 hours, he had booked the aisle but spilled over somewhat. Mind you he wasn’t as bad as the 4 hour flight next to the bloke who was absolutely stinking of BO. I realised in horror as he sat down that I was stuck for a full flight. It smelled like he hadn’t washed or changed his top in days. People a few rows away were commenting.

Another one here who always lowers the arm rest as soon as I sit down - that way, if someone very big tries to sit down and won't fit, the staff can be alerted immediately. Since the lowered rest is a H&S issue they can't just ignore it, and if that means the big passenger has to leave the aircraft so be it

Come to think of it I think she must have had her own extension as she didn’t ask the flight crew for one and she def had one.
I have emailed the airline. I have not complained about the cabin crew I have said I feel this should have been delt with before she got on the plane.