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Original poster

To give dd a bottle of Prosecco

423 replies

pasanda · 17/02/2019 18:28

DD is 15 tmrw and has a friend coming round tonight to celebrate before we go away for a few days tomorrow.

She's asked for a bottle of Prosecco for them to share, to celebrate.

Would you let her?

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 17/02/2019 23:55

No I wouldn't.

AuchAyeTheNo · 18/02/2019 01:51

God at that age I was hiding in parks drinking Grin and no I don’t have a drink problem now, in fact I hardly ever drink!

I would let them have it. 2 glasses each isn’t much and if you make such a big deal of it they will probably drink somewhere else.

I’ve never understood why some people are so strongly against kids having alchohol at this age for special occasions. Teach them properly about drinking and the dangers rather than making a big deal out of it.

RhiWrites · 18/02/2019 03:08

Do you want your just turned 15 year old to be smashed? Because she will on a half bottle of Prosecco

That can’t be right. It’s about two glasses, I think. Two and a half? Not enough to get smashed.

pissedonatrain · 18/02/2019 03:57

No, I'd rather not help the alcohol industry continue their social conditioning to think alcohol is a must to be social and to continue embedding it into every event, celebration, and activity.

It's your birthday = drink this booze
someone else's birthday = drink this booze
sport event = drink this booze

Nah

shiveringtimber · 18/02/2019 04:05

Never a whole bottle and certainly wouldn't give alcohol to someone else's child. With permission, maybe a small glass each? With my own 15 year old ds, I let him have a cider or a bit of lager at home occasionally but I don't encourage it.

Sureyouwill · 18/02/2019 04:12

I would, if I was standing over her at all times and had taken 10 valium.

A year older I might. I'm just so concerned about the effect on their young brain development that I'd be dubious about it. I'm not a complete stiff, but I think it might be too strong for them.

Half a bottle of prosecco for a 15 year old is possibly going to have them puking drunk. Unless they sip it.

shiveringtimber · 18/02/2019 04:13

agree, 7salmonswimming

Margot33 · 18/02/2019 04:29

I think I would but I'd tell her I'm having some too. So that's probably only 1.5 glasses each? Growing up my dad would buy all of us a bottle of alcohol on a special occasion. We are all now all tee total apart from special occassions. Our dad never made it taboo so we were nevèr bothered about it.

Margot33 · 18/02/2019 04:46

I remember a couple of friends not being allowed alcohol as teenagers. These were the ones I'd see in the park drinking vodka! One girl, I had to run to her parents house to call for an ambulance! She had her stomach pumped that night. If my husband has a glass of wine with Sunday dinner, I'll offer the children a tiny glass of it too. Otherwise they'll think it's something amazing, that they cant wait to start secretly drinking!

Auntiepatricia · 18/02/2019 07:37

Margot, that old nugget is trotted our time and time again by the cool parent brigade. When the exact opposite is ALSO true. When I was younger the big drinkers who got smashed and ended up getting their stomachs pumped were all the ones whose parents were lax in parenting and would give them a few drinks at home or get them ‘just a couple’ of cans for their night out. I and many friends had very strict parents and we were all the ones who would be very tentatively nursing a single ritz all night.

Justanotheruser01 · 18/02/2019 07:43

If she is asking for it I would be inclined to think she will get it someother way and I would rather her have it in the safety of my own home where I can watch her incase she got a bit too drunk on it I would also give her credit for thinking she could come to you. So in short spread out over an whole evening with food eaten I would let her but only at home

funnyfacestace · 18/02/2019 07:49

@pasanda get them "Nosecco" someone bought me a bottle by mistake and I couldn't even tell the difference! Didn't realise until someone asked if I was pregnant drinking alcohol-free!

I think 1 glass each is reasonable if you choose to do so. Bear in mind you can get 6 glasses out a whole bottle.

Hollowvictory · 18/02/2019 07:51

No.
But glass of buck's fizz max 1 each.

Original poster
pasanda · 18/02/2019 08:04

Well....I opened the bottle in front of her and took a glass for myself then gave her the rest. Found out from friends mum when she dropped her off that she wasn't too keen on Prosecco! So we added some grenadine to hers which she liked.

Unfortunately dd got arsey with younger sibling at one point and her lovely (not) teenage persona took over, a row ensued so the last quarter of the bottle was removed from her and poured down the sink!

Much to her disgust!

So she didn't end up drinking half a bottle and the evening didn't really go as planned.

Thanks for all the comments last night. DD is certainly NOT a goody two shoes and is pushing the boundaries hugely atm. I know she has sneaked booze before now and has plenty of friends who do the same. One even stole from her parents drinks cabinet to sell at school Shock. My way of dealing with a less than angelic teen is to try and keep the lines of communication open and provide her with alcohol I approve of. I know that will not sound good at all to many pp's on this thread! I just know she will go 'underground ' if I don't take this approach. She is just starting to be more open and honest with me after some really difficult situations over the last 6 months. It's a very fine line.....

OP posts:
AlexaAmbidextra · 18/02/2019 08:10

Why do so many on here subscribe to the fallacy that if they let their kids drink at home then they won’t do it outside? ‘I’d rather they did it at home than in the park.’ They can do both you know - and rest assured they will.

Original poster
pasanda · 18/02/2019 08:15

Indeed Alexa. Most of DD's friends do both.

OP posts:
AlexaAmbidextra · 18/02/2019 08:18

Well....I opened the bottle in front of her and took a glass for myself then gave her the rest.

Why bother coming on here to ask if you were going to ignore the majority and do it anyway. One glass for yourself hardly makes a difference.

Found out from friends mum when she dropped her off that she wasn't too keen on Prosecco! So we added some grenadine to hers which she liked.

How bizarre. She didn’t like the taste but you were so determined she should have alcohol that you made it palatable for her.

Unfortunately dd got arsey with younger sibling at one point and her lovely (not) teenage persona took over, a row ensued so the last quarter of the bottle was removed from her and poured down the sink!

Well there’s a surprise! And this has nothing to do with her alcohol consumption? Sounds like great judgement all round. Hmm

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 18/02/2019 08:23

I would if the other girl's parents gave permission. I had alcohol at birthdays and sleepovers from around 14/15. I think it was because it was never forbidden that that's one of the reasons I rarely drink now.
However I would keep a close eye on them and not let them access too much.

Original poster
pasanda · 18/02/2019 08:25

Alexa. With all due respect, you have no idea how much dd had drunk when she became arsey with her sister. DD is arsey quite a lot! Yeah, I got lucky and have a challenging, stroppy teen. (Like many thousands of families!)

OP posts:
Original poster
pasanda · 18/02/2019 08:27

And also, much of the advice last night was to have a glass myself and give them the rest, if you'd bothered to rtft.

OP posts:
feistyorange · 18/02/2019 08:29

I was getting pissed and getting up all sorts at 15 lol

Be thankful she wants to drink at home x

HoraceCope · 18/02/2019 08:32

aah, that is the problem with alcohol! turns people arsey.

HoraceCope · 18/02/2019 08:33

or tearful

Original poster
pasanda · 18/02/2019 08:38

Horace. Trust me, she's arsey without alcohol!

OP posts:
HotpotLawyer · 18/02/2019 08:40

I enjoy my wine. I am of the liberal approach, yes to making modest alcohol available in a home / family setting etc, and I have teens. Who drink at parties and festivals, but in cusp of Uni have never been insensibly drunk or sick.

I would not in a million years have offered a whole bottle or set up the idea that half a bottle is a reasonable thing for a child who was still 14 the day before.

I would not in a million years have made the alcohol palatable to the other girl. The answer to ‘I don’t like Prosecco ‘ is ‘here, would you prefer Coke or water?” . Finding a way for her to be able to drink it is setting up the idea that alcohol is essential to celebration or social occasions. What you did was the equivalent of peer pressure to drink.

We all have difficult teens. Capable of being bolshy and obnoxious. But you can not deny the link between alcohol and bad behaviour so however much she had had or not had, it was highly likely that the planned consumption of half a bottle would at some stage have resulted in bad behaviour.

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