One of my three teens has stolen a bar of chocolate

[Member869894]

I know it sounds petty but I feel really upset - I had a big bar of chocolate in my bag to share after lunch an hour ago and now it has vanished. Stout denials all around.

I feel like throwing lunch in the bin.

It really upsets me that one of them would go through my bag and steal from me and then deny it

[viques]

I think I would randomly choose one of them to punish _ and by punish I mean to the full extent of what is legal, so no hitting or minor amputation.


My reasons:

Firstly, you have a one in three chance of getting the guilty party. Job done.

Second, the punished one if innocent is more likely to split on the guilty one out of outraged sense of unfairness and indignation. Job done.

Third, it will scare the bejabers out of the second innocent one who will think twice in the future about putting sibling solidarity before the onslaught of parental wrath. Future chocolate protected.

I know, no substitute for chocolate, but why, I wonder is there no emoticon available for chocolate. I would hate to think that MN HQ is hogging it all for themselves.

[Bobbycat121]

Have you logged it with 101 yet? 😂 Teenagers stole a chocolate bar get a grip my brother use to steal money out of my mums purse. Its only a chocolate bar!

[YoThePussy]

I too would very much like to know what sort of chocolate. Currently sitting with melted chocolate button around my mouth. Eating in sympathy for you OP - and not sharing with any teens either!

[Deeedeeee]

maybe they all stole it and shared it out, would they be that organised?

[IDoN0tCare]

Sniff their breaths. You’ll either smell the chocolate or toothpaste, used to hide the smell.

Buy a bar of laxative chocolate, change the wrapper and leave it out, in a few days. You’ll soon find the culprit.

[Elfinablender]

Change your WiFi name to 'someone owes me chocolate" and then change the password. Then wait.

[Asta19]

I think a lot of people are assuming that all three know who took it. That may not be true at all. I had two teens at the same time and had one of them done something like the above, the only reason one of them would have known it was the other was because there were only two of them! Had there been three then no, two would have been innocent. So I don’t think it’s right or fair to punish all three.

[nocoolnamesleft]

If the OP follows through on half these suggestions, the odds are that even an innocent kid would fess up to put an end to it.

[YoThePussy]

I agree with random punishing of one of them, Chinese burns can be very effective as can ice cold water dripped on sleeping teens when they are in their pits.

[Idiota]

Collective punishment is prohibited by the Geneva Convention during wartime.

Why should it be acceptable in peacetime?

[BlueMerchant]

I'd misread and thought it had been found
To be honest I doubt you'll have to worry about them going in your bag if it's caused this much angst. They'll likely think it's not worth the carry-on.

[YourSarcasmIsDripping]

Idiota seriously?

[IDoN0tCare]

Why should it be acceptable in peacetime?

They stole her chocolate!

This IS WAR!

[Asta19]

If the OP follows through on half these suggestions, the odds are that even an innocent kid would fess up to put an end to it

I’m surprised no ones suggested kicking them out yet! I swear some of the people on here run their homes like some military camp! They probably don’t need to kick their kids out at 18 as the kids are probably desperate to leave.

[Yesicancancan]

To those saying it’s “only chocolate” it really isn’t. Would you say oh it’s “only stealing” if it had been taken from someone other than the mother??
I would change the WiFi password.
Def retrace steps to know for sure it had been taken.

[YoThePussy]

I would have dobbed my sister in quick as a flash if she had scoffed the chocolate. Would have been livid, screaming and inconsolable to have missed out of chocolate.

[00100001]

why would they know to look for the chocolate if it was hidden? :/


which means -

1. the bar was not there, and no-one stole it
   
2. they regularly rummage through the bag

[MissUGirl]

So whoever did it own up and we'll move on or you'll all be punished/treated like a thief.

Don't punish all of them if only one did it!

Better to let a guilty man go free than punish an innocent one. (The very foundation of our justice system.)

[YoThePussy]

Asta19 What a good idea. They could collectively be made to sleep in the garden unless one fezzes up. Assuming OP lives in the UK and not on a Caribbean island.

[Witchend]

If it's got to this stage then none of them are going to confess.
They've too much to lose now, both in front of you and their siblings. And most teens are quite clever enough to put the wrapper in one of the others' bin or the outside bin.


I think I'd send them all out together to buy me another bar. With mine, they would confess to the others, so they'd pay for it, and then they'd listen to me saying whatever I wanted to say.

I suspect then the one who took it would come and confess to me quietly in the next few days. When they've done something they know I'm disappointed in, it is unusual if they don't come and confess later.

[Gth1234]

How old are they?

Change the internet password, or inflict some other penalty until the villain comes forward.

[JRMisOdious]

Are you absolutely certain it couldnt have slipped out somewhere? Just seems a bit odd that having made it to teenagehood being completely trustworthy - which they obviously have based on your disappointment - they would start now and with a bar of chocolate of all things. Kids that way inclined usually start younger, would have thought?
That said my daughter would deny things so convincingly when she was younger, even when there was incontrovertible evidence, that I’d sometimes doubt that red was red, so maybe I’m being too kind.
Hope you resolve things. Don’t be too disappointed or harsh when you do. The fact that you’re so upset over what lots of people seem to think is a pretty minor blip demonstrates that they’re usually pretty good kids.

[mrsmuddlepies]

I remember a similar thing happening to a friend of mine forty odd years ago. She had taken it and she knew her very strict father would use physical punishment on the culprit. She blamed her brother who was caned. Her brother never really forgave her and she remembers the whole thing with horror and shame.
I would go with the explanation of why you are hurt and how sad you are by not being able to share. Then, forget about it. The outcome you want is for them never to do it again, not for the innocent ones to fear and resent you. Don't let it eat you up.
All the schools that I have worked in have banned collective punishments (class detentions).

[mummmy2017]

Ooh good idea, remove phones, or game machine from use. Say since I have no idea who took it I punish everyone....
I can tell you, they will all say they were not guilt , so give what ever you took back tomorrow. Please don't get into a blame game ....

[speakout]

I would be more concerned about a teenager going through my bag.

If he chocolate was on top and hidden- why did they rummage through the bag?
What were they hoping to find if they didn't know chocolate was there.
If the chocolate bar was peeking out of the top of the bag and taken it's a little more understandable.

Having said that I have teens and they would not look in my bag without my permission.