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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

One of my three teens has stolen a bar of chocolate

258 replies

Member869894 · 17/02/2019 15:45

I know it sounds petty but I feel really upset - I had a big bar of chocolate in my bag to share after lunch an hour ago and now it has vanished. Stout denials all around.

I feel like throwing lunch in the bin.

It really upsets me that one of them would go through my bag and steal from me and then deny it

OP posts:
expat101 · 18/02/2019 22:09

Have you noticed anything else missing over time or things moved about? Loose change etc?

Userplusnumbers · 18/02/2019 22:16

So did anyone fess up OP?

Cheesecake17 · 18/02/2019 22:37

Brilliant idea, love it 🤣🤣

Member869894 · 18/02/2019 22:48

Thank you everyone for your comments. I did post earlier but some of you have missed it.. None of them confessed so tonight I came home from work as normal, made dinner as normal and said to them that I k couldn't punish all three so have no choice but to move on. I just said that I was disappointed. and that it wasn't to happen again.

Hopefully that will be the end of it.

Thanks again for all your comments, even the more interestiing-bonkers- perspectives.

OP posts:
Gth1234 · 18/02/2019 23:07

@op

You haven't watched the right old films if you don't think you can punish them all.

manicmij · 18/02/2019 23:22

So now you have to apologise to them fir accusing them of not only being liars but thieves too. You realise you have opened the floodgates for them to deny all in future highlighting the incident when you made accusations against them and it was your fault!

Member869894 · 18/02/2019 23:49

manicmij what are you talking about??

OP posts:
GiantKitten · 19/02/2019 00:20

I think (like a few of us) she misunderstood your post about it being in your bag under a book - it sounded as if you’d found it after all

ralfeesmum · 19/02/2019 10:39

You could try saying "actually, it was laxative chocolate I bought at Boots - I'm going through a bit of a constipation problem at the mo."

Then scrutinize their inscrutable little faces.

CustardySergeant · 19/02/2019 11:02

ralfeesmum What would be the point of that? Whoever took it would know what chocolate it was, wouldn't they?

corythatwas · 19/02/2019 11:03

OP, I think you have been very wise here. Annoying as it is, the time comes when keeping the investigation open does more damage to all three (2 of whom may be totally innocent) than letting one person get away with it, and it sounds like you have judged this nicely. And probably, whoever it was hasn't got away with it, but is feeling too embarrassed to own up- so may well avoid getting into this situation in the future.

ScienceIsTruth · 19/02/2019 11:31

[choclate] just testing. Hopefully one of them will feel guilty and confess.

ScienceIsTruth · 19/02/2019 11:32

Might help if I checked before sending
Chocolate

pigsDOfly · 19/02/2019 11:45

I'm still not convinced. I think the OP will be posting at some point in the near future to say that she's found it under the passenger seat in her car or something similar.

Bujinkhal · 19/02/2019 11:53

I'm obviously a draconian git. We had a series of similar situations, 5 children, all too easy for them to just deny knowledge when something went missing, you can't punish us all right? (pretty sure I knew who the perpetrator was but he would lie in the face of irrefutable evidence so pointless waiting for him to confess)

Well I started doing exactly that, something goes missing, you're all being punished exactly as if you had done it. We had 2 more instances I think before things magically stopped disappearing. Peer pressure or just the threat of punishment I don't know but it stopped.

The kids that were innocent understood and now they aren't being grilled for things that they likely had nothing to do with, they don't seem to be bothered that they had to clean the bathroom or whatever.

AryaStarkWolf · 19/02/2019 12:05

So now you have to apologise to them fir accusing them of not only being liars but thieves too. You realise you have opened the floodgates for them to deny all in future highlighting the incident when you made accusations against them and it was your fault!

au contraire! You have to apologise to the OP for not understanding what's going on

diddl · 19/02/2019 12:46

Well I think that the three of them would at least be doing the/their cooking for a while!

It's so odd as it would obviously be discovered.

Also they either shared it & left Op out or one had it all & left everyone else out!

beanaseireann · 19/02/2019 13:58

I'd row back on the cooking dinners a bit. Not up to your usual standard.
Show your sad.

shammy1b · 19/02/2019 15:33

Tbf I'd plant another chocolate u know half eaten broken off n see who caves first to break a little piece off without u noticing but that means keeping a good eye all day without looking suspicious..or plant something they all like and see who goes sneakily for it...I have to agree giving in will make them hunk they got away with it whichever one it was..I'd kick off but I'm that kinda mom.dont touch my things or consequences like phones n playstation taken away from both till 1 admits or the other will grass...just saying that's my tactics n it works on my 2 lol..good luck hun

SaturdayNext · 19/02/2019 15:40

You need to plant another bar with marker dye powder on and then see which of your children turns purple.

Fiveredbricks · 19/02/2019 16:44

It's not the fact it's a bar of chocolate... It's the fact they felt they could go in to their mother's bag in the first place and then have the cheek to steal something! Regardless of whether it's a chocolate bar or not they need to know they don't go through other's personal belongings.

"It's just a chocolate bar" 🙄 no... It's not.

YoThePussy · 19/02/2019 17:05

Jade19 not sure where you get the idea I think the OP has over-reacted. Very far from that, I think she has been incredibly restrained and dignified regarding this lack of respect from one of her teens. I would be remembering this come Easter and there would be no Easter eggs for any of them.

Regarding Easter eggs, my sister stole and ate half of one mine over 50 years ago. It was beautiful and had sugar flowers on it. She ran away from home rather than face her sister who was screaming hysterically. I still remind her every Easter of her heinous crime.

SabineUndine · 19/02/2019 17:08

The thing that I find weird was large bar of missing chocolate and NO evidence. No wrappings, no smeared faces, no sudden loss of appetite. Was said chocolate smuggled out of the house to be consumed?

Has one of the kids had a sleepover recently?

ClaraMatilda · 19/02/2019 17:16

The amount of posters in favour of punishing two completely innocent people is just baffling. Even after OP has clearly said that she's resolved the situation in a different way.

expat101 · 19/02/2019 20:11

I would have thought, from watching those with siblings, when one party is innocent and the finger is being pointed at all, they very quickly out the perp to Mum....

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