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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

One of my three teens has stolen a bar of chocolate

258 replies

Member869894 · 17/02/2019 15:45

I know it sounds petty but I feel really upset - I had a big bar of chocolate in my bag to share after lunch an hour ago and now it has vanished. Stout denials all around.

I feel like throwing lunch in the bin.

It really upsets me that one of them would go through my bag and steal from me and then deny it

OP posts:
Babooshkar · 17/02/2019 17:18

WiFi off / no screens till someone owns up!

MadMillie · 17/02/2019 17:18

People share chocolate?

ShawshanksRedemption · 17/02/2019 17:19

If a bar of choc had gone missing from my bag I would not be blaming anyone; I'd think I'd lost it.

So what makes you think it was one of the kids? Has this kind of thing happened before?

Jaspermcsween · 17/02/2019 17:20

I’ve had this happen

Proper pissed me off

LittleMe03 · 17/02/2019 17:20

Op I agree. It's not on. I can't see one confessing to be honest. The culprit will be waiting and hoping for it all to just blow over. They know you're really cross about it and probably terrified to admit it now.

If it turns up thou OP I hope you have a punishment for yourself also

Reallyevilmuffin · 17/02/2019 17:20

Collective punishment. WiFi off until the culprit owns up and takes their punishment, you control the TV whilst this is going on ;)

Original poster
Member869894 · 17/02/2019 17:21

Because I bought it this morning and left it in my bag. I'm not the sort of person who loses chocolate .Sadly...

OP posts:
Ellie56 · 17/02/2019 17:24

It was at the bottom of my bag under a book Shock

Uh oh. I hope you have grovelled massively.

I think you need to give them all a bar of chocolate for being so unreasonable, and you should go without.

EustaciaVye · 17/02/2019 17:25

I would be seriously miffed about this because of the lying after the fact, not the theft itself. Good luck

Chimmychunga · 17/02/2019 17:25

You could forgive them for taking it, it's the not owning up to it that would bother me. And the lying.

Can you offer a reward for the one that grasses up the other?

Maybe say if it isn't returned by 12noon tomorrow (giving the guilty party a chance to nip to the shop) all 3 will be punished. Hopefully this will spur the innocent ones to turn on the guilty one.

ItsHardToExplain · 17/02/2019 17:26

Remember to check the pockets of the clothes they are wearing now not just their rooms.

billybagpuss · 17/02/2019 17:26

Yep if they’re going to steal your chocolate, you don’t share your WiFi with them.

IWantChocolates · 17/02/2019 17:28

@Ellie56 - did you not read the last page? That's where it was when it went missing, not that the OP has found it.

ShadowHuntress · 17/02/2019 17:30

Maybe they’re all in on it and closing ranks

KickAssAngel · 17/02/2019 17:31

OP - what's more important - getting a confession, or them understanding why this is a problem for you?

Because you could do something like switching off the wifi, ask them to go to their rooms and think about it, then individually come down and explain to you why this is a problem. IF you think they've learnt the lesson, even if they won't come clean, is that enough? Could you then turn the wifi back on, and resume normal service - maybe with a 10 pound treat over the break.

That way it doesn't get dragged out forever, but they still actually have to learn the lesson of WHY this is a problem.
Otherwise you're faced with ongoing resentment, no-one owning up and, and then just having to let it go anyway.

TeacupDrama · 17/02/2019 17:32

phones confiscated wifi off and watch the home channel on loop several episodes of escape to the country and bargain hunt should sort them

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 17/02/2019 17:36

I'd be pretty pissed off if my mother wrongly accused me of stealing from her then turfed my room upside down to find something I hadn't taken.

That's how at least two out of three will feel if you follow some of the "advice" on here

Well if they're innocent there's nought to worry about .

I haven't had any chocolate related light fingeredness from my DS since the After Eights (and I didn't have to search far, they wee down the side of his bed )

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 17/02/2019 17:37

I wonder if people would be so dismissive if it was something like car keys,money,bank card, important documents/information,someone's present etcthat went missing instead of chocolate. Because it's just chocolate.
Except it's not about the chocolate really, it's about going though OP's bag, it's about taking something that doesn't belong to them just because they can and it's about lying about it afterwards.

Murphypoint · 17/02/2019 17:38

I’m a bit lost.

Did you find it under a book

Or

Was it under the book and is now missing.

BlueMerchant · 17/02/2019 17:40

If I was one of your teens I certainly wouldn't accept a chunk off you now...I'd be telling you to shove it.......(in ur bag!) Grin

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 17/02/2019 17:41

Murphy it was under a book before it went missing which means whoever took it went raking in the bag, looking for something .

Even when mine were tiny they knew my handbag was off limits

SpanielEars070 · 17/02/2019 17:42

I had this a few times OP with mine.

I found the "I'm just so very disappointed in you" and being quiet with them worked far more effectively than going absolutely mad.

And you should be able to leave a bar of chocolate in your handbag. It's not the chocolate, it's the fact that someone has gone rummaging through your bag. I'd sit them all down and say how upset and disappointed you are that one of them is lying. And as a consequence, any treats for half term are now off the table.

Murphypoint · 17/02/2019 17:43

Thanks 70. I’d be really disappointed if it were mine. Handbag is off limits.

Asta19 · 17/02/2019 17:44

The problem is now it’s escalated it will be a lot harder for the culprit to confess. Inflicting further punishments is just going to punish two people who are innocent of the crime for no reason! And I have a real issue with a group being punished for the actions of one. It isn’t fair.

I would do what a pp suggested and talk to them individually. I would set any anger aside and explain how hurt you are about the situation instead.

Debruary · 17/02/2019 17:45

They're teenagers! It's the sort of shit they do

I’ve got a clan of teens myself and not one of them would dream of going through my bag and taking something.