AIBU to complain that a home temperature of 22.5 or 23 degrees celsius is too hot

[Throwaway111]

AIBU by complaining that keeping our house temperature at 22.5 or 23 degrees celsius is uncomfortably hot?

We live in a newly renovated house that is well insulated and has a new heating system. It's controlled by 2 thermostats- one upstairs and one downstairs. My partner insists on setting the thermostats to at least 22.5 degrees and quite often puts it up to 23 or 23.5 degrees. At the time I'm writing this the actual temperature in the house is 23.5 degrees- confirmed by the thermostat and 2 monitors in the kids' rooms.

I find this temperature far too hot, particularly at night, when I find it too hot to sleep comfortably. Our kids also complain regularly about being too hot and are often covered in sweat at night. Our two year old has minor intermittent eczema that I think is made worse by having the house so hot.

We're fortunate that we can afford our heating bills so money is not really an issue but comfort is.

We've tried to discuss this and come to a compromise but have not been able to. We previously agreed to keep the thermostat at 22.5 downstairs and 22 upstairs but this failed because my partner repeatedly turned up the thermostat because she felt cold. My partner gets cross when windows are opened and says she just feels cold (and she does- she wears a dressing gown, jumper and socks to sleep in). She is home in the day a lot more than I am.

I don't think she has a medical condition but have asked her to go to her GP to be checked for hypothyroidism.

I'm finding her behaviour very selfish and am becoming quite cross at her unwillingness to compromise on this.

AIBU? Any suggestions on what to do?

I have autonomic dysfunction which means I can't regulate my body temperature properly. In practice it means I can't get warm. Right now, I'm sitting in a room that 23.1 in long sleeves under a duvet and I'm still cold. At 18 I start shivering and at 15 I start to turn blue. She's unlikely to have what I have (mine is caused by a complicated genetic condition and fairly severe prematurity) but medical conditions that cause issues like this are a thing.

Bloody hell, climate change is at crisis point, but you don't like wearing jumpers inside so who cares.

I have constant issues at work with people having the heating on too high (21 and above). I can't wear fewer clothes than I do, given I also need to be warm outside coming to and from work and at lunch. Drives me potty. Especially when one of the "cold" people only wears blouses, cos she doesn't like jumpers. It's winter, you wear boots and jumpers.

Usually by the time I get to just the right temp, so I'm not sweating at my desk, they start wrapping themselves in coats and scarves.

I thought everyone turned the heating off at night

My timer doesn't seem to allow for an off setting. I can however put it right down as low as I like so I have it set much lower for night time. Also, my bedroom is pretty much the coldest room in the house which is how I like it. Cold room and snuggle under lots of duvets.

I think unless you have a medical condition you do adapt to the temperature to some degree. For years i lived in places without CH and so I find 17/18 deg. positively balmy. When I first stay with my parents I find their 22 deg ridiculously hot, but when I come back home I then find home a bit cold until I readjust. The idea of not wanting to wear jumpers indoors is ridiculous. I do despair of the human race and our shortsightedness sometimes.

Buy a wireless thermostat, set at 21C day time, 18C night and hide it.

Disconnect the other ones and let her fiddle with them to her heart's content.

Dummy thermostats are a standard solution in offices with many women.

That’s very interesting: do they work? If we believe it’s warm, do we feel warmer?

I don't think gaslighting creates actual heat, Grumpy

I was going to suggest hypothyroidism and I see you already have. It's so hard to get warm when my thyroid is undermedicated.

20.5-21.5 degrees is a pleasant daytime temperature. 19-20 at night.

Heating is a feminist issue.

www.newyorker.com/tech/annals-of-technology/is-your-thermostat-sexist

Women are more comfortable at 78F which is 25.5C 8n offices

We have the same temperature related problems in our house. My DH likes the heating up high (he isn’t very active) and I get uncomfortably hot (doing housework). I try to open windows when he’s not looking but as soon as he spots a window open, he shuts it. I like a very cool bedroom with plenty of fresh air (even when it’s snowing I like a window open). Waking up in a hot bedroom is a guaranteed migraine for me. I really don’t think it’s healthy to live in a hot, stuffy house. I really feel for OP, it’s very frustrating and uncomfortable living in an overheated home.

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Women are more comfortable at 78F which is 25.5C 8n offices
That would be stifling for me as a woman. I like to wear a jumper and boots in the winter. I do agree with the second last sentence of that article. Maybe the solution, then, is to make the indoors like the outdoors. The ideal for me would be to heat to 18 deg and cool to 30 deg, otherwise the outdoor temperature is fine.

Way too hot! I couldn’t cope with that. Also, as someone with eczema high central heating will cause flare ups!! My dermatologist says it will dry out even healthy skin, so this really isn’t fair on your DC

Also, I’m pretty sure I once read that NHS recommended 18 - 21C for indoor heating

We live in a passivhaus and it maintains the temperature year round at 24.5 degrees, we always have to have windows open even with snow on the ground.

Women are more comfortable at 78F which is 25.5C 8n offices

Rubbish! I'm a woman and I find 21°C in our office too much! Difference is I go for a brisk walk in my lunch break and wear weather appropriate clothes. Lots of colleagues move from sitting at their desk to sitting in the break area and wear thin blouses in winter!

Your partner needs to compromise OP. She runs cold whilst you and rest of family runs hot. She can add clothes but ultimately you'll just end up opening all the windows (and turning it off)- which will drop temperature quickly.

She'd hate my house thermostat is set at 16' , is an old drafty house. Goes up to 18' when icy/snowy out, occasionally a brief bump to 20' if get home cold in afternoon to speed up warming house. Comes on twice a day and not at night. My gas and electric are shocking anyway but many people find it uncomfortable to be in too high a temperature heated building.

Our Work office is set too high at 24' and even then a colleague (young, feels the cold) sometimes puts an electric fan heater by her desk which is near me. I literally cannot stay at my desk (I go white and faint) when she does that - so far my other colleagues have intervened to tell her to turn it off.

I don't know why some of you have heating at all to be honest! I'm with the OPs wife but it depends on what I'm doing. Sitting comfortably in my home I'd have it at 23. Dashing around at work, I'd have it much lower. Who wants to be cold in their own home, if they can afford the bills to avoid it?

That’s hot. We set ours at 20 in the evening and 18 at night, and I would say we like our home slightly warmer than the average!

Who wants to be cold in their own home, if they can afford the bills to avoid it?

Climate change? The fact that our excessive heating is contributing to the destruction of the planet? But hey, let's keep sitting stationary without jumpers and not worry about that.

I wouldn’t be able to bear this especially not at night. I can’t have any sort of hearing on a night or I wake up with headaches and a sure throat. We stick loads of blankets on instead of the bedroom gets cold. My DH is always cold so we compromise by having living room to a temperature he likes but he has to wear a jumper before turning the heat up then the other rooms are cooler for me and DD so we’ve got somewhere to go if the heat gets too much. Bring too hot makes me feel physically sick and DD can’t cope with the heat either, she’s a fan on even in winter.

Who wants to be cold in their own home, if they can afford the bills to avoid it?

Anyone who cares about the environment. And besides, I wouldn't say I'm cold. If I wear a couple of jumpers, it's fine. I just accept that in winter in a relatively northern country, I need to wear a few layers.

Thank you all very much for your comments. It's really helpful to read a range of views and many of the suggestions are very useful- we'll buy an electric blanket this week, should have thought of this ages ago!

Many thanks