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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to complain that a home temperature of 22.5 or 23 degrees celsius is too hot

145 replies

Throwaway111 · 16/02/2019 20:51

AIBU by complaining that keeping our house temperature at 22.5 or 23 degrees celsius is uncomfortably hot?

We live in a newly renovated house that is well insulated and has a new heating system. It's controlled by 2 thermostats- one upstairs and one downstairs. My partner insists on setting the thermostats to at least 22.5 degrees and quite often puts it up to 23 or 23.5 degrees. At the time I'm writing this the actual temperature in the house is 23.5 degrees- confirmed by the thermostat and 2 monitors in the kids' rooms.

I find this temperature far too hot, particularly at night, when I find it too hot to sleep comfortably. Our kids also complain regularly about being too hot and are often covered in sweat at night. Our two year old has minor intermittent eczema that I think is made worse by having the house so hot.

We're fortunate that we can afford our heating bills so money is not really an issue but comfort is.

We've tried to discuss this and come to a compromise but have not been able to. We previously agreed to keep the thermostat at 22.5 downstairs and 22 upstairs but this failed because my partner repeatedly turned up the thermostat because she felt cold. My partner gets cross when windows are opened and says she just feels cold (and she does- she wears a dressing gown, jumper and socks to sleep in). She is home in the day a lot more than I am.

I don't think she has a medical condition but have asked her to go to her GP to be checked for hypothyroidism.

I'm finding her behaviour very selfish and am becoming quite cross at her unwillingness to compromise on this.

AIBU? Any suggestions on what to do?

OP posts:
Justagirlwholovesaboy · 17/02/2019 04:35

My heating is set to kick in at 15c, I turn it up occasionally if I’ve just come in and want a heat boost

Nothinglefttochoose · 17/02/2019 04:40

Waaaaay too hot!!

Aus84 · 17/02/2019 04:46

Haha that's what we put ours on to cool our house down.

Broken11Girl · 17/02/2019 05:00

You have a good point about hypothyroidism, or possibly another condition - is she going to the GP? That level of coldness isn't normal.

TitsalinaBumSquash · 17/02/2019 05:14

I am someone who has a 22.5 degrees house and still has to wear a onesie, slipper socks and 3 thick blankets because I'm constantly freezing. I'm a fatty so it's weight related. It drives my DH mad! We have hive so I can sneak to thermostat up from the bed...

Catren · 17/02/2019 05:18

She's being incredibly selfish! One person can't make 3 others uncomfortable like that, particularly with a dc with a skin condition. I didn't think it was safe for kids to sleep at such a high temperature.

My dm is similar, always cold. Df is always hot. She wanders around in a hat and 4 layers, while df is in t shirt and shorts. Dm has very low blood pressure so not sure if that's related?

itsstillgood · 17/02/2019 06:06

In our house we switch on the air conditioning at 23 degrees! Never any heating at night. Actually no heating at all this winter as it's not working and not got round to getting anyone to look at it (do have an electric fire in lounge). Fortunately though it works across the family and if someone complains they are hot the fire goes off as all really hate being hot so have sympathy and would rather be cold/layer up for sake of hot person.

Rubusfruticosus · 17/02/2019 06:26

24 deg c is actually the recommended setting for all airconditioners in Australia. If that is too hot for you I'd hate to imagine how you'd cope with 33, 35 and even 39 deg c which it regularly gets to outside right now in summer.
I prefer 35 deg with the windows open to a house heated to 23 deg, it does not feel the same. I have coped with those temperatures without so much as a ceiling fan. My house in the UK is heated to 18 deg and off at night though, any higher and I am uncomfortable.

Mummyoflittledragon · 17/02/2019 06:26

I have a pretty unique perspective on this as I was just like your dp. Now no longer. My uterus was poisoning me (advanced adenomyosis with endometriosis) and the size of a planet, draining me of energy to keep me warm. My blood pressure was very low. I had a hysterectomy last year, ovaries also removed and this winter I’m not cold for the first time in decades.

My body used to make a physical switch in the autumn and I could feel it the day it happened. I was then chilled to the bone until it made another switch some time in the spring. It was horrible. I can’t downplay it. However I’m sure being constantly hot and itchy from eczema must be horrid too.

Not wanting heating bills doubling and not wanting to force others to overheat, I didn’t inflict my need to be warm on others. The house was heated to 20 in the day and 17ish overnight. I wore a lot of clothes, thermals, had a duvet on the sofa. What also helped was sleeping on a duvet as well as having an extra one on top.

I still sleep in a dressing gown as it’s comfortable. But now I actually like the bedroom to be a chilly 16 and dh is complaining about it being too cold... easily rectified by wearing a top in bed btw. Dd is fine either way.

Your dp is being really selfish especially with a child, who has no control over their environment. Time for her to grow up and put a child’s needs first. She can use a small heater next to her for example rather than having the house at tropical conditions.

Belenus · 17/02/2019 07:09

I'm constantly freezing. I'm a fatty so it's weight related.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but fatter animals are generally warmer. Think of mammals like whales and seals that use blubber as insulation! I make sure my horse is carrying more fat in the autumn, to keep him warm in winter both as an insulating layer and so he has something to burn off. He drops weight round about this time of year, then come the spring grass he puts it back on.

I hope the OP is coming back! Get her to the GP. In the meantime, individual heaters for her, cooler house for the rest of you. And I second the idea to sleep on a duvet as well as under one - it is snug.

Boom76 · 17/02/2019 07:21

That’s how I like it. Grew up in a cold house. It was miserable. I’ll never be cold in my own home

OneStepSideways · 17/02/2019 07:25

Ours is set to 23 in winter, I don't like being cold or wearing jumpers indoors. We turn it down at night though (it hovers around 19-20 during night).

QueenofLouisiana · 17/02/2019 07:55

I’m naturally cold but that’s too warm for me. We have 20.5 in the evening and 17 during the day and overnight (mainly as the hamster needs to be at that temp to avoid torpor).
I have an electric blanket to hide under on the sofa if I’m cold.

Vulpine · 17/02/2019 08:24

We don't have the heating on at night at all

GreenShadow · 17/02/2019 08:49

Surely the heating is off at night. Why not just have it on a timer?

Vulpine · 17/02/2019 08:50

I thought everyone turned the heating off at night

Oblomov19 · 17/02/2019 08:52

Blimey. Ours is set at 19.

JRMisOdious · 17/02/2019 09:00

Sounds like she may have Raynaud's? Not serious but very uncomfortable. There are lots of treatments available.
I have Raynaud’s myself but live with a hot blooded lot who can’t stand the temperature to be much above 17 so I’ve had to adapt. Absolute godsend is a big, fluffy, furry onesie from the men’s range at Primarni in an artificial fabric. It’s like a personal central heating system and I rarely have the thermostat above 15 during the day now. We don’t have the heating on at all overnight except on rare below zero nights (old house, well ventilated). I wouldn’t expect everyone else to be uncomfortable on my account.

JRMisOdious · 17/02/2019 09:05

OneStepSideways

Dont like wearing jumpers indoors? Why?

LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 17/02/2019 09:15

I feel the cold but our heating is set at 18 and that's absolutely fine (well insulated new-ish build though.) Heating goes off at 10pm and comes back on at 6am for an hour or 2.

BarbedBloom · 17/02/2019 09:18

I couldn’t live with that either. I hate being too hot and was miserable last summer. We never have the heating on overnight. Luckily my H is similar.

I do think that when three other people, especially if they have medical conditions which are aggravated by the heat, are too warm then the heating needs to be lowered. Does she wrap up warm around the house or just in bed?

Horsemenoftheaclopalypse · 17/02/2019 09:19

Your wife needs to see a doctor.

It’s doesnt sounf normal

maddiemookins16mum · 17/02/2019 09:20

Yes, too warm. Ours rarely goes above 21 and is off all night with a window open in our bedroom.

MumOfOne92 · 17/02/2019 09:36

My heating is currently on 19 and usually lies between 18-21 and is on constantly. I'm in a 1st floor flat so get downstairs' heating so it's always at least 1-3 degrees warmer than my my thermostat.

When I go to my mum's house I'm bloody cold 🤷‍♀️

OdeToDiazepam · 17/02/2019 09:43

That is way too hot! Mines on 18.6 atm, most I put it up to is 20 if I'm at home sitting around downstairs