AIBU to complain that a home temperature of 22.5 or 23 degrees celsius is too hot

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AIBU by complaining that keeping our house temperature at 22.5 or 23 degrees celsius is uncomfortably hot?

We live in a newly renovated house that is well insulated and has a new heating system. It's controlled by 2 thermostats- one upstairs and one downstairs. My partner insists on setting the thermostats to at least 22.5 degrees and quite often puts it up to 23 or 23.5 degrees. At the time I'm writing this the actual temperature in the house is 23.5 degrees- confirmed by the thermostat and 2 monitors in the kids' rooms.

I find this temperature far too hot, particularly at night, when I find it too hot to sleep comfortably. Our kids also complain regularly about being too hot and are often covered in sweat at night. Our two year old has minor intermittent eczema that I think is made worse by having the house so hot.

We're fortunate that we can afford our heating bills so money is not really an issue but comfort is.

We've tried to discuss this and come to a compromise but have not been able to. We previously agreed to keep the thermostat at 22.5 downstairs and 22 upstairs but this failed because my partner repeatedly turned up the thermostat because she felt cold. My partner gets cross when windows are opened and says she just feels cold (and she does- she wears a dressing gown, jumper and socks to sleep in). She is home in the day a lot more than I am.

I don't think she has a medical condition but have asked her to go to her GP to be checked for hypothyroidism.

I'm finding her behaviour very selfish and am becoming quite cross at her unwillingness to compromise on this.

AIBU? Any suggestions on what to do?

Sleeping temperature is ideally 16-19 degrees (recommended for kids) Unless there is a medical reason, she is being unreasonable and selfish. One person should not dictate the comfort of the entire household. If she wants to wear 4 layers and have a hot water bottle, that's her choice. But everyone else's comfort should t have to be affected

I’m hypothyroid and I suspect your DW is too. Suggest getting s text but unfortunately a negative test is not conclusive. Try looking at Thyroud Uk website.

18 in the day here and 12 at night. Any warmer and we wake up frying.

Too hot for me and I really feel the cold. Inactivity won't help. Does she get outside and walking during the day? It's very easy to get used to a higher temperature if you never leave it. Also does she dress seasonally? I wear wool jumpers in the winter but it surprises me how many people seem to expect to wear sleeveless tops at home all year round.

Oh, and invest in a dual control electric blanket. Seriously, she will love you for it!

One person should not dictate the comfort of the entire household.

This. I absolutely cannot bear being too warm...wouldn't be able to sleep at all. Needing the heating up that high is excessive and unusual, I think, and as such it's very unreasonable to expect the rest of you to put up with it.

I couldn't live like that. I'd feel really ill trying to sleep in that heat.
Luckily I live in a pre war converted bungalow that struggles to get up-to 18• in the winter during the day

I can’t handle long stays at those temps. I end up covered in sweat and hives so it’s very obvious. (Yes, I’ve seen a doctor). My family knows not to complain if they aren’t wearing layers. If they are, then we can talk about the thermostat.

PriscillaLydiaSellon It's an Alpha version, earlier type that Aga now own. Same principle as the standard Agas except the burners are thermostatically controlled and it isn't a basic heatstore version, so cools down much quicker. We had a standard version before and it was so hot and so fuel inefficient. This one takes 20 mins to heat up which is brilliant, and cools down completely in around 3 hours as still solid iron.

I’d be sick and unable to sleep at that temp. The heating is about 19c during the day and 15c at night. I’d normally turn it down to 12c at night but I have a baby. It’s ridiculous to cook everyone (and waste everyone’s money on heating bills) just because one person feels the cold. Turn it down and buy her a hot water bottle!

To the posters suggesting to layer up etc...The dw is already doing that

Erm, no? It says she wears a dressing gown and socks in bed. I do that sometimes. It's very easy to add a thicker duvet, a blanket, or thermal layers.

I find this temperature far too hot, particularly at night, when I find it too hot to sleep comfortably. Our kids also complain regularly about being too hot and are often covered in sweat at night.
So she thinks everyone else should be uncomfortable to accommodate her. That’s incredibly selfish, I feel quite sorry for the rest of you to be honest.

It depends on the person.

At night at this time of year I sleep with 3 duvets on. I like to be really snug at night. Round the house I'll often wear a fleece onesie which is very warm.

Df has the thermostat set to 13 degrees. He finds it too hot by 15 degrees.

Geez she's being selfish, and dense if she is completely unaware that having the heating on at that level all the time is unhealthy.

Kids rooms should be cool warm for safe sleeping 15-19 degrees.

Our heating is on at 15-16 degrees in the afternoon until 10pm then it's off all night. Our windows are all open for fresh air all year round. (Scotland)

I would find it absolutely impossible to live with your partner. If she's too cold she needs to move more, layer up and have hot drinks.

We have it at 20 in the day and off at night.
Turn off the rads in the kids rooms that should help. I'd turn it down a degree every few nights see if your partner even notices. 23 is sweltering, I'd wear summer clothes to make a point.

I think the most sensible solution is to have the thermostats set lower, at a temperature that suits the children, but have an additional heating source in the room(s) she's in during the day. You can't keep heating your whole house that warm, and especially not everyone else's bedroom at night.

Omg that’s stiflingly hot in a house. Our house is between 14-18 degrees. Our thermostat is on frost protect mode so in the morning at the mo our house is about 12 before we boost the heating.

We used to have the house much hotter but have been knocking one or two degrees off the temp the last couple of years. You just get used to it

That's crazy warm. I could not live with someone who needed to have the temperature that hot.

Max 16 here most of the time. Down to 12 at night. Up to 18, when it drops below zero C outside. Over 20 never.

We have 21 degrees at peak times, 18 degrees otherwise during the day (weekdays) and 16 degrees overnight

That's boiling. We're on 17 and I am steaming rn

Is she very very thin? Because a dressing gown to sleep in is mental...

Also get the kids fans for nighttime (and yourself)

I never have the heating on overnight, even in winter and stupidly assumed everyone has heating off at night. Obviously wrong!

I'd love to have the house that warm, but I think the only other member of the household who would be pleased would be the cat! So because I know it is my problem (I have thyroid disease) I really layer up and have a wodge of extra blankets on my side of the bed to help keep myself at a more comfortable temperature. I'd rather wear gloves in bed than have my poor DS and DH sweating their bollocks off!

24 deg c is actually the recommended setting for all airconditioners in Australia. If that is too hot for you I'd hate to imagine how you'd cope with 33, 35 and even 39 deg c which it regularly gets to outside right now in summer.

LunafortJest we’re in NSW and I’ve just spent $550 keeping the house to 25C 24/7 for the past month. I’d love to have it down to 21 overnight but I can’t afford it (damn ducted aircon lol).

OP 25C overnight sees us all sleeping naked with just a top sheet to cover us up and a towel underneath to soak up the sweat. I’d strongly recommend your wife goes to the drs as something doesn’t sound right. If you were saying there’s no heating on at all and she was dressed like that overnight I would expect it and tell you to put the heating on.