Aibu to be pissed parents have no life insurance

[pregnantforever]

Parents are in their 50s although my dad has the health of a 70year old. They don't take care of themselves and my dad moans every day about how awful his health is but rarely does anything about it.
He makes stupid decisions that are unsafe. Hes self employed and works lots of hours (manual job) with no need to (mortgage free, own their own car, have savings ect). He seems to almost brag about it. Last week sat saying he had had to work in the dark all day in a house where there was no light or electric, in the freezing cold with leaking water everywhere. We all pointed out that he had done this by choice, he's self employed and it's not worth risking his life for, he could have waited until the next day when some of those issues were sorted out but he didn't want to. We said we thought he was irresponsible and he walked off in a big mood.
I told my mum I hoped they had good life insurance if he was going to carry on making stupid decisions like that because she will be left growing old by herself, and she said they had none, and that there was no point in getting any because it would be expensive and their house was paid off anyway.
I don't think owning a house means much. If one of them needs care they will be up shit creek without a paddle. They both insist they want to stay in that house and never go into a care home ect, and my brother won't have anything to do with looking after them, he's not inclined like that. I have a spinal cord injury and don't want all of the burden of taking care of them or one of them being forced to sell up to pay for their care. Surely if they had life insurance then that would at least cover some costs should one of them take a turn? Or do I just need to keep my nose out massively and not worry? I've never asked anything about it before so had no idea they didn't have it.

My policy that I have will pay out 200’000 if I die I took mine out years ago and it was very cheap
Some policy are designed to reduce each year in line with your mortgage so that if you die your house is paid off
Other will pay you a guaranteed monthly amount for life

clairemcnam Legal and general (and I assume they won’t be the only ones) go to 90. I’m sure the cost becomes prohibitive at that stage but it is theoretically possible.

@clairemcnam they don’t ask what age you want to go to they ask you how many years up to 50 ,maybe you can’t get it after you turn 70 but your term can definitely still run past it Several companies were happy to insure me for 50 years knowing I would turn 70 in that time

It seems like a lot but I was 22 very healthy no history of anything bad in my family all grandparents and great grandparents still alive and well so companies were really fighting for me I probably will love way past it 🤣

Okay I just tried the moneysavingexpert quotes site and after I put in my date of birth, it said the maximum I could be insured for was x years that took me to 70.

So you just leave all that sort of thing to your husband, like you’re a child... and don’t even understand what you’ve got... but expect to be able to lecture your parents about it like an adult?
Right-oh.

Do you mean private health insurance? Because only the very young and healthy can get life insurance. They ask you a series of questions and if you've had so much as a broken bone ever they reject you. So I don't think your parents would even qualify. There are 3 separate insurances; life insurance (normally like if a father dies in an accident or something like that the money goes to his widow to help raise their children), private health insurance (to get private drs/private treatment etc) and funeral insurance (to pay for your funeral). Anyone can get the last 2, but the first is nigh on impossible unless you are fit, healthy and young when you first sign up.

Don’t be ridiculous. I needed a fresh life policy in my early fifties when I changed jobs and lost my death in service benefit. It wAs trivial to get, on minimal health questions.

@Imissgmichael You clearly do not even understand the thread or the OP and are seeing something that does not exist. No one on here is after their parents money. You are halucinating and reading things that aren't there. The OP, cares about her parents and wants them to take care of themselves.

What do you feel is wrong with that?

And actually, it IS the child's business, because the son/daughter will be the one who advocates for an elderly/sick parent, who organises their care, their estate/effects etc. So it is VERY MUCH her business and all (grown up of course) children should be aware of their parents circumstances and wishes. My mum makes sure I know what funeral cover she has, the particulars of financials and with whom so I can organise the paperwork/proof in an emergency. @Imissgmichael sounds as irresponsible and lackadaisical as the OP's father, except with paranoid suspicion thrown in as well.

@Imissgmichael
"No Dawn you are not covered until your 72. Dear god how stupid can you be. Your premiums will
Increase to am unbelievable high amount every single year." All covers are different and some DO cover you up til a certain age. You are very nasty and aggressive.

"Dawn is being very silly. She has no idea what she will be entitled."
You clearly have issues. You have no idea what Dawn's cover is. Who are you to tell other people they are silly? What an arrogant and obnoxious person you are!

Guess they won’t be getting a funeral then. There’s no way you or your siblings should be expected to pay for it.

As you have no doubt realised very few of us in our 50s have life insurance. DH and I had it to cover our mortgage and had young kids and we both had death in service protections as part of our pensions while working. We are now early retired, in good health and have a mortgage free house, comfortable pensions, investments and savings. If one of us died the other would be ok to cover outgoings and our children are financially independent.

Life insurance is to cover dependants or high debt like a mortgage. Given you say your mum does not have a pension that is more of a worry so yes equity release is an option for that. If either of them needed care in their home there are benefits available to cover the cost, some are means tested so it depends on income and savings and some are given anyway. My stepdad gets attendance allowance as he needs more help now he is in his 80s even though he owns their flat with my mum and both have substantial savings/investments so that is obviously not means tested. It pays for a cleaner, taxis and if my mum wasn't around he could use it for meals to be brought in.

If either of us need care which cannot be covered by pension/ investments/savings then the house will need to be sold once the other is no longer living there. Life insurance is absolutely no use in this respect and is effectively money down the drain at this stage of life unless as I say one person has no means of supporting themselves if the other died. It would be prohibitively expensive at that age though. Your parents may rethink staying in the house once they see the reality of being ill in old age with little income but you say they have savings so depends on how Ill they get and how much they have in income or savings

@Imissgmichael , you need to google level term life insurance. It exists, whether you believe in it or not.

I do think families should discuss these things and the general advice is to give a power of attorney to adult children, trusted relative as if you get dementia then there has to be a court order to access savings etc for care costs or living expenses. My DH has one for his mum so he could sort out the practicalities of getting her into a care home and paying for it until her savings got so low the council paid it. I have a POA for my mum who is in her 80s. At the moment she can manage her money but asks me to do her tax return online each year. I can see a point though where she won't want to be bothered with dealing with it so I will activate the POA at that stage. Really DH and I should be giving one to our adult daughters. Families should discuss these things so I feel sorry for people who don't trust their kids or think it is nothing to do with them. These are the people who will hopefully be helping you in old age.

There are all sorts of life insurance policies so @misslgmichaels you are being very rude to some posters. Decreasing Term assurance is what people usually use to cover the term of a mortgage. Level term assurance is also perfectly possible to get but again I cannot see the point unless you have dependants.

You might be pissed that your parents have no life insurance but maybe they realise that it's not needed.
Most people get insurance to pay off mortgage in case of death. Once our mortgage was paid off, we no longer have any.
I joked yesterday that DH is worth more dead than alive, but I don't get a lump sum if he dies, I just get his work pension (which is plenty)

clairemcnam Try a different website. If you go direct via different insurance companies there will be cover available. MSE might to an automatic stop at 70 but that may have been a commercial decision as a comparison site rather than a full reflection of what’s available.

I would say life insurance is more for people in my sort of situation. I was widowed at 35 with a mortgage to pay and a 2 year old. I've taken out a second life insurance policy since then and I'm fairly sure it only runs until my son is an adult

Can I jump into this thread and ask a related question? Hopefully someone will know the answer.
My dad, as sole owner of his house, signed over his house to me and my brother over 2 years ago. He was in good health and of sound mind. The deeds are now in DB and my names jointly.
Dad has now got early dementia and it looks like a care home will be his only option at some point in the future.
Are DB and I legally obliged to sell the house to pay for his care which will be roughly £1000 a week? Dad has some savings that will facilitate around 18 months care costs.
He'd be devastated to know the house he gifted to us was used for care costs.

Anyone know?

purplepears if your dad needs a care home, yes that house might be considered as part of his assets. And it might have to be sold to pay for his care. The authorities go back about 7 years to see if the person has "gifted" their house , ie to avoid paying for their care. Since that is why most people gift their homes to family. The government is well aware of why older people gift their homes, so don't get too comfortable .

Thought that was the case. And if that's how it legally is, that's fine.
My DB was considering buying my share and making the house his family home.
Sounds like that may be something to avoid. Although it'd be sad as he dearly wants the house.

So basically you're really annoyed that your parents don't have life insurance and you think they should be more responsible for themselves, hence this thread, yet you don't have much to do with your own pensions or life assurance or how it all works as hubby does all that for you??!!

Ehhh righto.....

OP, forgive me if I've got this wrong, but I don't really see the problem. Your DPs don't have life insurance but they own their house. They have stated that they will not sell it. Your concern is that if DF dies and mum needs care, there is no money for it. Well there is money for it-there's the house. If your DM needs money she sells, if she refuses then she sources funds from elsewhere herself. If she's in need of a high degree of care she may not be able to stay at home anyway.
This is not your problem, but you're choosing to make it your problem.
My DM is in a similar position. DF has died but she's still at home in a fully owned house (she did have some money left but is wasting it). She says she will never leave it or sell it to go into care. That's her choice, but if/when the time comes she will have no other source of funds. She's in a far better position than many other women given that she has a fully owned house. If the house won't cover the care she may need then I would cover the rest, but I won't be using my savings/assets until she has exhausted hers, and I won't expect my DCs to do it for me.

Many of us won’t have the inheritance our parents thought we would have as the money will be taken by tax or care costs

We expected to be looked after in our old age we won’t be it shall cost us the inheritance we hoped to leave

@Ellisandra Jesus Christ have you read the thread?
Where have I lectured my parents? I had a conversation about my dad not needing to break the law and work in daft conditions that moved on to a conversation with my mum about it where I asked (at no point lectures) and then came away worrying they would be ok, I now know they will.

As for the comment about me being a child because I didn't know the ins and outs of life insurance. I have 3 kids, an SCI, I'm educated with a good job, and I handle most things around the house. He's sorted that, and that makes me an incompetent child? Jesus Christ people on here are black and white.
At no point did I come on the thread saying I'm an expert and a know all and I was going to tell my parents they were wrong. I asked if I was bu for feeling pissed off they weren't prepared. That doesn't really make me a child or an interfering lecturing so and so. I got my information yesterday and came to the conclusion things were fine but no apparently my marriage is childlike now 🤷‍♀️. I'm not the grown woman on the internet this over invested in somebody else's life though am I.