Aibu to be pissed parents have no life insurance

[pregnantforever]

Parents are in their 50s although my dad has the health of a 70year old. They don't take care of themselves and my dad moans every day about how awful his health is but rarely does anything about it.
He makes stupid decisions that are unsafe. Hes self employed and works lots of hours (manual job) with no need to (mortgage free, own their own car, have savings ect). He seems to almost brag about it. Last week sat saying he had had to work in the dark all day in a house where there was no light or electric, in the freezing cold with leaking water everywhere. We all pointed out that he had done this by choice, he's self employed and it's not worth risking his life for, he could have waited until the next day when some of those issues were sorted out but he didn't want to. We said we thought he was irresponsible and he walked off in a big mood.
I told my mum I hoped they had good life insurance if he was going to carry on making stupid decisions like that because she will be left growing old by herself, and she said they had none, and that there was no point in getting any because it would be expensive and their house was paid off anyway.
I don't think owning a house means much. If one of them needs care they will be up shit creek without a paddle. They both insist they want to stay in that house and never go into a care home ect, and my brother won't have anything to do with looking after them, he's not inclined like that. I have a spinal cord injury and don't want all of the burden of taking care of them or one of them being forced to sell up to pay for their care. Surely if they had life insurance then that would at least cover some costs should one of them take a turn? Or do I just need to keep my nose out massively and not worry? I've never asked anything about it before so had no idea they didn't have it.

I'm not sticking my nose in or dictating to my parents at all.

We're talking about one conversation that naturally progressed from my dad being an idiot and irresponsible at work (which everybody was a bit about).
He was complaining about the horrific & dangerous conditions he had had to work in and having a right old moan. (He's one of those people who has had the worst of everything, if you've had a hard day at work he's had it 100x harder, if you've had a migraine he's had it 100x worse, he takes everything like it's a competition but it's just stupidity).
The conversation flowed naturally from him bragging about work conditions to all of us (me, dh, dB & my mum) trying to nicely point out that he's self employed and doesn't need to work, and he could have just waited a day and held off until things were safe. He disagreed and called us all stupid and said we didn't know what we were on about, and we tried to nicely say to him, no we do but we would just rather you valued your life and respected health and safety laws ect and exercised a bit of caution. And that the law is there for a reason, he's not obliged to work in those conditions. Anyway despite his health being god awful and him doing nothing but complain about how awful this day was, all we tried to do was tell him we would rather he took health and safety a bit more seriously because we care for him & love him. He slumped off in a mood as per his personality & my mum was left at the table looking exhausted with it all. It was literally a comment he made half jokingly something like "I'd up the life insurance if he's going to carry on putting his life at risk like that so you know you'll be ok" and she said "we don't have any".
It did shock me because I think in my nativity I did think that would give some assurance she would be ok. She said like many posters here that she doesn't need any as they own their house and agreed my dad was being an idiot.

I haven't mentioned it since or told her what to do in any way or interfered. But it has played on my mind a bit over the last few days. (I'm on mat leave, I've got too much time on my hands, I'm emotional, and above all else I didn't really understand that system). I'm not worried now I do, I have no intention of interfering or telling them what to do.

Regardless of this post & whether I got the answers I was looking for or not (I have), I wouldn't interfere, I'm not out for inheritance, but I have to support them whatever happens, I might not HAVE to but I will, whatever choices they make, which are of course down to them. But me misunderstanding the system made me feel like they were being irresponsible and it would be really difficult to do that.

I don't need inheritance, I needed some information about how it works and that I was being unreasonable, which I got, and I need a dad that looks after himself a bit better and actually listens to Drs. I wouldn't interfere with that either but it's not nice being part of it

Well if I get hit by a bus tomorrow unfortunately die and my mortgage is paid off 6 months after I got my Keys I wont look stupid or silly ,If I make it to 70 and they pay me what would equal to a few grand it’s better than nothing ,right ? I’m just stating what my policy is

You're right Dawn and you've done the right thing. That's exactly what life assurance is for.

dawn96 Also assuming 35 years of inflation at 3% your 400k would still be worth around £138k but a hypothetical fixed premium of £50 would also be the equivalent of around £17. I’m not quite sure why you’ve come under fire.

Dawn I am 53 and also took out a new insurance policy last year. Mine is for £200k and the premiums are far less than I thought they would be and includes critical life insurance.

And NO - @Imissgmichael the premiums do not increase. I am covered until I am 83 which is thirty years obviously. I will have paid around £20k by then so I reckon that's a good risk. It also pays out if I commit suicide.

OP, aside from the fact your DM would have no mortgage to pay, you say she would wish to stay in her home. So if your DF did die, does sh work/ern enough to pay for food/holidays/other expenses? Does she have income/savings to cover her until she is old enough for any pensions to kick in? If not, then yes, life insurance could be an option. However, if your DF has serious health conditions this might be problematic.

Could OPs DM get equity release on the house if the worse should happen, I think you can if you are over 55

@cuppycakey I thought it would have been worth it for her even if not for him, as he doesn't care about his health and she is the one that I think will be left struggling, but she doesn't see a benefit and I don't want to interfere, it was a conversation we had naturally, I won't bring it up again.

@LightAsTheBreeze you know what, for all I know, ideas like that could be why she's so relaxed about being ok. She might have a better idea how it all works and she might know it will be fine, (I'm not convinced), but I won't stick my nose in anymore.
It's been reassuring to read the posts that's for sure. And they will be supported whatever happens.

pregnantforever I don’t think you are being unreasonable in wondering what would happen if either parent was on their own, particularly if pension provision isn’t brilliant.

Life insurance for your dad may well be prohibitively expensive if he is in bad health and statistically it is most likely that it’ll be your mother on her own for many years.

As much as previous posters have said let the council pay for care, money does buy choices. I’ve seen a massive difference in the quality of care homes elderly relatives have gone in depending on whether they were self-financing or dependent on local authority funding. I am very glad that one of my relatives had the funds to pick and choose his care provision and live somewhere really nice in his final days. The others were not so lucky and were in places I found pretty bleak in comparison.

No cuppycake your delusional. No insurance policy will pay out the same large sum now as it will in 20 years. It isn’t possible.

You are embarrassing yourself now Imissgmichael

I suggest you do some research on the subject. It's not a savings plan, it's a risk, agreed upon by actuaries who work for insurance companies.

If I died in a years time, the policy would still pay out £200k, same as it would if I died in 20 years time. I accept the £200k will probably be worth less then, but that's the amount it would pay out, and my premiums don't increase.

They really should teach this stuff in schools.....

3% average interest over 39 years is pretty low.

Tell you what cuppycake tell is what insurance company you’re using and I will prove you wrong. Unless your saying paying £20000 over 30 years is a good deal. It really isn’t. Delusional, delusional, delusional.

As for 50 year olds not being able to make their own decisions. What the feck.

Legal and General.

How do you think life insurance works then? Are you getting confused with an endowment? It isn't savings I am after, I have that separately.

I pay in every month, same amount, for thirty years (in the rather unlikely event I live that long) The amount assured is £200k.

If I die after a year the DC get £200k, If I die after 5 years, £200k, 10 years, £200k. Seriously I am astonished you think that isn't how it works????

Nope cuppycakey your wrong. Exactly how much is thrvmonthly premium that will pay out £200,000 if you die it after 12 months. What are the exclusions. Nah bull shit.

The chances are the insurance company have done calculations and think you will live longer than 83.

Exactly clairemcnam

You just can't help some people

Actually I am amazed I have just looked at life insurance quotes on moneysavingexpert and the longest policy they offer is to 70.

Oh and I don’t have to do some research. Iv seen the shock on people’s faces when they’ve misunderstood policies.

@Imissgmichael

Yeah, silly me, never got anything in writing from that Fly By Night company Legal and General.

Seriously - do some comparisons online. You will obviously be very surprised and totally embarrassed

I had better go get some sleep if I am going to make it to 83

If your dad is in I'll health anyway OP, would he even be able to get life insurance? I know I can't

OP I get where you are coming from

my dad was in poor health from when I was 16 - I'm now 43! - and he died last year.

He did have life insurance, thank goodness, and that obviously isn't relevant to his care, but it is relevant to any money that mum will have to pay for care in the future.

I did have to talk to him quite bluntly about things like money for funerals. Power of Attorney was something he completely refused, but after some thought, my mum has, fortunately, decided to sort this out.

I know one of the issues is that people don't want to think about these practicalities. With the "money for funeral" conversation, it wasn't easy to broach but it had to be done.

I would imagine your parents can still do things like take funeral plans, and be conscious of saving generally.

I also completely understand the fear - that looking after them, whether financially or otherwise, could potentially impact your finances. I don't think there's a way to stop your dad making certain choices about work, but I do think it's perfectly reasonable to have a chat with them about your concerns and the future in general.

Imissgmichael There are multiple posters on here now saying they have similar policies. If you really don’t want to believe they exist feel free. Obviously a lump sum payment will be worth less due to inflation but so will the premiums.

A relative has a policy that will pay out £80k until she is 80. Quite clearly when she took it out £80k was worth a lot more but her premiums are peanuts in today’s money so it’s a no brainer to continue with the policy. The premiums have never been revised up because the terms of the policy have never been changed.

I am surprised. Moneysavingexpert life insurance quotes go to a maximum of 70 years old.