To ask if your child or children have ASD

[Mumzoo]

Just something I notice on every thread on mumsnet, people mention their "child with ASD". It seems so utterly common on here that it makes me wonder if there are any families out there who still have no children with ASD at all. I have one with (not yet diagnosed but quite evident) ASD and one neurotypical. Growing up I didn't know any children with ASD until a boy joined our secondary school and we were all made aware of this by our teachers in a bid to accept him despite his "odd behaviour". That was one child in a school of 1200 pupils. Now there are one or two in every class. It's quite shocking.

It seems so utterly common on here that it makes me wonder if there are any families out there who still have no children with ASD at all.

Did you really mean this, OP, or was it supposed to be a joke? Because it’s not funny. This sort of comment is why you’ve managed to annoy a lot of people on here. Fine to have a discussion on why MN attracts parents with DC with SN, not fine to be so rude. You may not have meant to be so goady, but the tone of a lot of your posts is off.

Yes, I really meant it, and no it's not a joke. It's an observation.

So you really meant that all families on MN, 100% of them, have DC with ASD? But you’re not being goady? You might need some lessons in the use of hyperbole in that case.

You've alluded to ASD only being apparent nowadays, number of cases being downplayed, MNers in particular having a massively high rate and even questioning whether institutions existed.

Regardless of what you meant, the wording of your posts does sound like you're reading into some conspiracy.

Rather reminiscent of the "never had that in my day" and "everybody has a label nowadays" arguments that many of us have heard more than once!

EllenJanesthickerknickers

I said "It makes me wonder..."... clearly a pondering and not me stating a fact.

My son has so-called high-functioning autism. In truth his behaviour is the bane of my existence, has severely compromised our family, destroyed what was left of our marriage and I fantasize about killing myself nearly every day but cannot due to my elder daughter. I'm terrified for whatever future he might have. There's no help or support where we live and we cannot afford to move. Anyone who trots out the it's not a disability or tells me about fucking Sheldon on Big Bang Theory or The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night gets a mental punch from me.

I got yelled at recently on MN for saying that parents of ASD kids have "a lot to talk about." I'm not sure what outraged projection was going on there, but I meant only those words, not some kind of cruel slur.

There's a lot to say. Or ask. Or ponder. So they end up posting more than parents of kids without ASD (or ASC). So they have higher profile online.

I barely know any kids with autism or ASD (or ASC). Certainly not my own. However, I know heaps of middle aged & older males who probably would agree they are "on the spectrum" if you put it to them. None of them seem to think it's important.

I agree with Lunde
I think also that education until the 1960s/1970s was easier to navigate for those with asd - lots of silent working, no group work, little emphasis on social skills and the old o-levels often required regurgitation of facts

My qualifier for the following is only from my own experience and what I've read on various SN boards online, so I may not have a thorough grasp of the situation, although lots of individual experiences over a very large amount of years are very, very similar.
Some children with ASD and co-morbids really struggle in mainstream education, not necessarily academically but by being put into a learning environment that generally is not suitable for their needs. Then they are punished often for behaviour they cannot help. Being ostracised by their peers is another common factor as is the very often downplayed bullying because kids with ASD are behaviourally different to NT kids.
Parents of those children can opt to homeschool if they are able to.

At no point does it appear to have occurred to anybody in Education to find out how schools could be more autism-friendly.

NotMyUsualTopBilling

Absolutely not what I intended at all and clearly not everyone who has replied took it that way. I have not questioned the existence of institutions, but the number that would have been needed to cope the the numbers of children (and adults) who are diagnosed with autism in this day and age. There would have been a hell of a lot of institutions and people would have known about them. There were definitely some.

My DS has Aspergers, I think I have Aspergers too, though no diagnosis. Because I have Aspergers I spend my time on MN instead of RL. This may be true for many.

Just something I notice on every thread on mumsnet, people mention their "child with ASD". It seems so utterly common on here that it makes me wonder if there are any families out there who still have no children with ASD at all. I have one with (not yet diagnosed but quite evident) ASD and one neurotypical. Growing up I didn't know any children with ASD until a boy joined our secondary school and we were all made aware of this by our teachers in a bid to accept him despite his "odd behaviour". That was one child in a school of 1200 pupils. Now there are one or two in every class. It's quite shocking.

Literally nothing about your op talks about wait times or funding. You are just back tracking.
All it talks about is "there was none if this in my day".
"Now there are one or two in every class, it's shocking"
Do you realise how awful you sound or are you will fully ignorant.
Why don't you actually listen to what we have said instead of pretending you didn't insult people.

I have 4dc, only one has ASD. She is nonverbal and developmentally the age of a young toddler but the size of a seven year old. She was diagnosed at 3yo but showed signs at about 18m. She attends a special school as she needs 1:1/2:1 support.

You also say your own DS is unDXed, but your posts read more like you’re skeptical about the current rates of ASD than after actual information or support. It’s a very odd first post.

Eh? When did I claim my OP was about funding??

lljkk, those men friends of yours are as insulting to people whose lives are incredibly adversely affected by autism as those who say they are a ‘little OCD’ about their housework to those who really do have OCD.

EllenJanesthickerknickers
I AM skeptical about current rates of ASD. I think they are massively underreported! I have already stated this!

Massively underreported, but not a conspiracy? Anyway, time to disengage, I think.

EllenJanesthickerknickers

What is odd about asking if people think rates of autism have increased dramatically? Clearly you think I ABU to have asked...but why?

If I have questions/issues with the NT child, I will speak to friends and groups on FB. For the ASD one, I'm more likely to post anonymously on a forum because "friends" don't always understand and acquaintances don't always know the situation.

I think this is spot on. Especially so, I'd imagine, for single parents because DH and I only really have each other to talk through the day to day details & decisions IRL.

But that's my point EllenJanesthickerknickers! They are massively under reported because it's so hard to get a diagnosis ...because so many people are waiting for a diagnosis...! All those people waiting for a diagnosis are not included in numbers of diagnosed cases and won't be for a long time until the government can divert some funding towards the likes of CAMHS. What don't you understand or are you being deliberately obtuse??!!

My DS is 4 and ADHD has been mentioned but IMO he is just a typical, energetic boy that plays vigorously and gets bored easily. I'm a social worker and see many children pathologised with these disorders that are perfectly normal for their development and temperament. Obviously severe symptoms are problematic and need specialist support but I'm concerned we label behaviours a bit too freely.

Totally agree with your post. Yes it seems nowadays there is a huge focus on diagnosis. My elder son I can understand as he had many areas of difficulty but my younger son who isn’t even three has been labelled ‘ of having autistic behaviours ‘ and the nursery are very keen to fast track a diagnosis. For me, as much as there I to suggest he is on the spectrum there is just a bit more on the other list to suggest he doesn’t meet the criteria. We as a family are happy to sit and wait for the developmental hospital appointments and see what happens... a statement that is met with looks of horror / she must be in denial/ from the SALT and the nursery SENCO

You said it is a worrying trend.
Then when questioned said this.
*
KoalasAteMyHomework

Sorry, I'm confused. What is a worrying trend?

The numbers of children waiting for a diagnosis is increasing year on year, and given that resources are already stretched beyond their limits getting a diagnosis is increasingly difficult...and becoming impossible for some. We need support for our daughter before she starts secondary school and so far we have been chasing our tail, with CAMHS re-referring us back to SENCO and GP as their waiting list is too long!*

You made no mention of funding on your op but we're. Just speculating as to why there is now "one or two in every class it's shocking"

My DS is 4 and ADHD has been mentioned

Mentioned by whom? Was it someone with the medical qualifications and capability to diagnose ADHD? Or another parent at school or a teacher or a relative, or someone in the corner shop?

Generally, ADHD isn't diagnosed until kids are much older than 4, because until then they could be just energetic little boys. However, at a certain age, the differences start to show as considerable, that's when diagnosis is appropriate.

I'm concerned we label behaviours a bit too freely

Sigh, there's always one, surprised we got to five pages in before the twatty "label" comment.
Labels are things you stick on suitcases.

Professional medical diagnoses of autism and its co-morbids and other conditions are done by a team of medically qualified professionals. It can take years, sometimes several years to obtain a full diagnosis from the NHS.

And before you insinuate that people can 'buy' a diagnosis by going private, no, they cannot.

2 of my 4 DC have ASD. They were both diagnosed as preschoolers. But it's one of those conditions where children can be diagnosed from 18 months until 18 (then obviously as adults), depending on how it presents and waiting lists. I googled "multi-disciplinary assessment" when this was mentioned for DS1, and found the MN SN boards. I've posted on and off since then.

DS1 was dx 10 years ago and the Consultant Paed said in years gone by he probably wouldn't have been diagnosed until 7/8. We only had to wait 12 weeks for assessment, though he'd been seen by community paeds and SALT for over a year before we got to that point. DS3 the wait was 9 months from being accepted on to the waiting list for assessment, and this still seems a relatively short wait compared to other areas.

I thought DS3 perhaps had ADHD rather than ASD, but my area won't consider assessing until 6 at the earliest.

If you'd have asked that in your OP and explained yourself in your follow up posts I'm sure people would have agreed with you but that's not how it reads at all.

So in answer to your question, yes. I think the number of people living with an Autism diagnosis has increased greatly since I was a child. I don't see this as a negative thing though, I believe it's down to improved understanding, less social stigma and general awareness of the differing ways it affects people.

Didyeeaye, I'm sure most of us would've preferred the free labelling of which you speak. For most of us, it really hasn't been that simple.

I'm concerned we label behaviours a bit too freely

No one is labeling behaviours, they're diagnosing a neurodevelopmental condition.

Do you consider diabetes, epilepsy, cerebal palsy to be "labels" too or do you save it for less visible disabilities? It's attitudes like yours that make things more difficult for the rest of us as it perpetuates the myth that we're using ASD as an excuse for poor behaviour.