To ask if your child or children have ASD

[Mumzoo]

Just something I notice on every thread on mumsnet, people mention their "child with ASD". It seems so utterly common on here that it makes me wonder if there are any families out there who still have no children with ASD at all. I have one with (not yet diagnosed but quite evident) ASD and one neurotypical. Growing up I didn't know any children with ASD until a boy joined our secondary school and we were all made aware of this by our teachers in a bid to accept him despite his "odd behaviour". That was one child in a school of 1200 pupils. Now there are one or two in every class. It's quite shocking.

[AltogetherAndrews]

I think you may have pissed people off suggesting that our children’s existence is “shocking.”

It bloody isn’t.

[3out]

I don’t go online for support, I go online because I’m bored and stuck at home. As others have said, being a parent to children with ASD basically means you have zero social life. So I sit at home browsing the internet/social media instead.

[Mumzoo]

Ainba

When you say clearly more though, what are you basing this off, just frequent mn posts about asd?

No. I'm basing it off this study which is actually representative of the country's children (born in the year 2000). "Prevalence was
much higher than previously estimated (3.5% for 11-year olds)."

www.academia.edu/8965250/Millennium_Child_with_Autism_Millennium_Cohort_Study_Early_childhood_trajectories_for_health_education_and_economic_wellbeing

[KoalasAteMyHomework]

The numbers of children waiting for a diagnosis is increasing year on year, and given that resources are already stretched beyond their limits getting a diagnosis is increasingly difficult...and becoming impossible for some. We need support for our daughter before she starts secondary school and so far we have been chasing our tail, with CAMHS re-referring us back to SENCO and GP as their waiting list is too long!

Thanks for clarifying. In your post you didn't mention diagnosis waiting times being "the worrying trend" or refer to waiting times, so it sounded like you were saying that having a child with autism was becoming a trend, or possibly that there was an increase in the number of people with autistic children despite all the points made on the thread about why it probably isn't the case - but instead due to things like a greater awareness/children previously being institutionalised or labelled naughty/parents seeking support online and coming to Mumsnet via SEN boards.

It's a very sensitive topic, and some of your comments may not intend to offend, but aren't coming across very well.

[x2boys]

My son has autism and learning disabilities he'non verbal he goes To a special school, he would have always have gone To a special school or we would have been told to put in away and forget about him I guess those with higher functioning autism would be 'thevlids that may have stuck out at achool, but I bet a lot just didn't attend school.or were excluded?

[Mumzoo]

AltogetherAndrews
I haven't suggest that your children's existence is shocking! What nonsense! My own child has ASD! What is shocking is the (seemingly) swiftly increasing numbers of children being born with autism, but with no increasing funding to diagnose or support the. Deliberately misinterpret my words all you like.

[EwItsAHooman]

Please can we refer to iiit as autistic spectrum condition. It not necessarily a disorder, disability

Yeah, no. In our house it most definitely is a 'dis' so I'll carry on using the clinical definition thanks.

Don't get me wrong, I have issues with people championing the many facets of autism and challenging the various stereotypes but sometimes the whole "we're au-some" rhetoric goes too far and minimises the difficulties of living with autism. My DS is amazing and I love him more than I could ever describe but some of his behaviours are incredibly challenging (increasingly so as he grows), he will never live a wholly independent life and - try as I might - I won't live forever. If autism was a person, I'd kick it in its bastarding face.

[EwItsAHooman]

*I don't have issues with people championing

[PegLegAntoine]

Definitely a disability for me and my kids. Not that it doesn’t come with positives of course but yeah, being told it’s a superpower and seeing all the autism inspiration about the amazing achievements people have made with autism, it just hurts more

[Ainba]

but with no increasing funding to diagnose or support the. Deliberately misinterpret my words all you like.
You started a thread that seemed to imply some kind of weird conspiracy, so your things are going to get misinterpreted with that kind of lead post.
If you'd want to discuss funding vs the increase in diagnosing it would of better to have been clearer about that from the beginning.

[BlankTimes]

@Daftasabroom
"Please can we refer to iiit as autistic spectrum condition. It not necessarily a disorder, disability or dis anything."

To have a clinical diagnosis of autism, someone has to fulfil these criteria.
The characteristics of autism vary from one person to another, but in order for a diagnosis to be made, a person will usually be assessed as having had persistent difficulties with social communication and social interaction and restricted and repetitive patterns of behaviours, activities or interests since early childhood, to the extent that these "limit and impair everyday functioning"

Anything that limits and impairs everyday functioning is a disability.

The above does not include any of the co-morbids which can be more disabling than autism.

[AltogetherAndrews]

I’m not misinterpreting, you perhaps are being careless with your wording, and that’s why people find it goady.

[x2boys]

The meme that pisses me off the most is the the autism i snt a disability it's just a different ability and yes whilst I get some people don't feel disabled by it it is called a spectrum for a reason, I got irrationally angry when someone wrote in Facebook that autism definaley isn't a disability and everybody was very clever

[Mumzoo]

Ainba

some kind of weird conspiracy

I am rereading what I wrote and I still can't understand what kind of weird conspiracy you are alluding to!

[missfliss]

Threads like this are useful because they surface views that need to be aired and challenged.

I will refer to ASC in respect of my son though, he has some challenges ( particularly sensory integration and social reciprocity) but some gifts too. His challenge is around a world that doesn't fit him always.


However I totally appreciate that for many their particular features of autism can be utterly disabling and the term ASD feels more representative

[Glitterzzz]

I have a son who will be 12 in the summer diagnosed back In 2009 with autism after 6 months of observations. He has significant learning difficulties was non verbal until 4 not toilet trained until 5 and has been in special educational settings since the age of three. However he progressed so much he was upgraded from severe learning difficulties to mild and had to leave one special needs school as he was too functioning after a good few years there... they told me it’s not a situation they see often, it’s moe children coming to them from mainstreams or special needs schools for moderate issues....

He remain in special school. He has a talent for singing, can read maps better than me, is great in maths writing and reading and his memory is excellent. He holds doors open for people when out shopping and his manners are excellent. He will however need to be supported for life.

Fast forward I am not about to go through the diagnosis process for my son who’s three next month. To be back in this situation is gutting and soul destroying. I hate autism. I hate what it’s done to my children and how much people struggle with the condition.

I wish I knew what caused it and I wish I knew how two people can have the same condition but be so different in terms of ability and function.

My three year old is miles ahead compared to what my eldest son was like at his age but he shows high levels of anxiety and wanting to control.

I also have a NT daughter with a higher than average IQ.... 🥴🥴

[LaurieMarlow]

My kids are NT (well I think the baby is, there are no red flags thus far) and I don’t know many people in real life with ASD.

My cousin’s little boy has a diagnosis. He is very high functioning and 30 years would have been seen as a child with some ‘quirky’ (for want of a better word) behaviours.

[Lunde]

It is important to remember that Asperger's syndrome did not become a standardized diagnosis until the 1990s. Before that many people went undiagnosed of higher functioning types of autism. DH and I have found that we both have a strong family tendency to higher functioning autism but we had no idea when our dd was diagnosed in 2004 - yet since then we now have relatives diagnosed in five different countries.

We can also see the traits that older relatives probably had high functioning types of autism but were never diagnosed. We have 2 relatives that were belatedly diagnosed in their mid 40s (one was originally falsely diagnosed as Schizophrenic) and another relative that was almost certainly on the spectrum but self medicated and died of alcohol poisoning in his early 40s.

You also have to bear in mind the extraordinary educational changes. Until the 1970s children with severe learning disabilities did not have a right to be educated in Britain and many were institutionalised. Other children with autism were educated in special schools until the 1990s when many closed. I think also that education until the 1960s/1970s was easier to navigate for those with asd - lots of silent working, no group work, little emphasis on social skills and the old o-levels often required regurgitation of facts.

[Thisismynewname123]

I have 2 girls. One NT, one with ASD. If I have questions/issues with the NT child, I will speak to friends and groups on FB. For the ASD one, I'm more likely to post anonymously on a forum because "friends" don't always understand and acquaintances don't always know the situation. I think back to my teenage years, and there were the children who were quirky, the children who were naughty, definitely some known to have depression and social issues. I wonder how many of these now have a diagnosis of ASD (or would have if they were growing up now). My dd would definitely be under the radar if she grew up back then. She would be seen as a bit slow, over emotional and immature, to explain her lack of friends. I don't think she would have been dx with ASD back then.

[BollocksToBrexit]

Both of my children have autism, as do DH and I. Although DH doesn't officially have an autism diagnosis, he is the most obviously autistic.

DD was the first to be diagnosed at 15. As she went through the process I realised that I must be autistic too. I was diagnosed a year later. DS got an early diagnosis at 4 because where we live 2 previously diagnosed in a family means subsequent children are fast tracked. DH won't get formal diagnosis as it may affect his work but the professionals we've dealt with over the years are in no doubt that he's on the spectrum.

[Ainba]

I am rereading what I wrote and I still can't understand what kind of weird conspiracy you are alluding to!
I'm not the only one who found the opening post strange. The hyperbole made it seem like you were sitting in a basement with a tinfoil hat on.
Your free to post however you want, but just if it was a funding topic to have a more rational post and clearness would probably of helped people understand.

[Mumzoo]

Ainba my initial post wasn't anything to do with funding.
Sorry I didn't word it perfectly enough for you to understand. I shall consult you before any future posts...

[Ainba]

Ffs now who's misinterpreting as I said your free to post however you like. My point is why so many posters were like wtf and feeling it was goady as it was difficult to understand if you were being serious or not.

[Mumzoo]

Ainba
Just to make it clear, my initial post was about the prevalence of autism, which seems more prevalent in real life, and even more so on mumsnet, than published statistics would have us believe. That's nothing to do with conspiracy. It's a fact, as stated by a recent study that looked at numbers of diagnoses in 11-year-olds back in 2011/12.

[Mumzoo]

Ainba

Some people just like to jump on AIBU threads and shout "goady" for the hell of it...no matter what the OP has written. N'est-ce pas?