To ask if your child or children have ASD

[Mumzoo]

Just something I notice on every thread on mumsnet, people mention their "child with ASD". It seems so utterly common on here that it makes me wonder if there are any families out there who still have no children with ASD at all. I have one with (not yet diagnosed but quite evident) ASD and one neurotypical. Growing up I didn't know any children with ASD until a boy joined our secondary school and we were all made aware of this by our teachers in a bid to accept him despite his "odd behaviour". That was one child in a school of 1200 pupils. Now there are one or two in every class. It's quite shocking.

[Mumzoo]

NotMyUsualTopBilling

Mumzoo, what exactly is it that you are trying to point out?

Reading your posts it is almost as if you think that:-
A) There are a lot of people on MN lying about their children having Autism.

When have I implied that?! If anything I have said the opposite, that I think rates of autism in society are underreported.

B) There is some sort of government cover up/conspiracy to hide the true number of people with Autism whilst simultaneously throwing labels out left, right and centre.

Um, really?

We waited 9 years for a conclusive referral, assessment and diagnosis. Hardly just off the cuff!

Who said it was off the cuff? There are so many people waiting for a diagnosis (including my own child). I think you have read my posts with your eyes closed!

[rainbowbash]

one child with severe Asd. I think you see more of 'us' here as bringing up a child with ASD can be utterly isolating. I cannot see friends anymore due to DC. Those who have NT children find her unbearable and dropped us slowly one by one. Those without children live in a parallel universe to me and I cannot see them anymore as I have no childcare in the evenings (and babysitters are out of question. I work during school hours so unlike many other 'SN mums', I cannot make mum friends in the SN world as coffee mornings are generally during school hours.

Bottom line is that I am utterly isolated socially and mumsnet is often my only form of adult communication outside work.

I image I am a fairly common case which explains the high number of mums with DC with ASD on here.

[TrainSong]

I think a lot of mums of ASD children spend time on mumsnet so the numbers are skewed. Maybe because we worry more as they have so many social anxieties and obstacles, and it's often easier to talk about these with strangers than friends, also maybe either because the parents are either ASD themselves or have an ASD partner, both of which can result in a massively reduced social life for many people, so MN is a place for emotional support if it's hard to find in real life.

[rainbowbash]

also, the SN boards here are pretty knowledge about things related to Asd (dx, EHCPs, DLA etc) which brings a lot of mums here in the first place. I certainly came via the SN route!

[Mumzoo]

rainbowbash that sounds hard. It isn't something I have looked into , but are there no local support groups that do meet ups with other families in the same situation, where you can take your child along? If not, there really should be.

[Stevienickssleeves]

I am personally on Mumsnet because I find it hard to maintain RL friendships and excruciating to talk about my personal life, so I can well imagine Mumsnet is a locus for those with ASD who are genetically more likely to have ASD children

[sizzledrizz]

I have three with ASD. Once you have a child with a diagnosis, you will naturally gravitate towards other parents in the same situation. Gradually you just stop mixing with parents that only have NT children, because they don't want their children to any with your childre, because your life style changes, because you become the weird odd parent with the weird kids, and in my case because you are on benefits. I have days/weeks where I talk to no other adult, apart from On line forums.
At the moment I'm receiving counselling due to the affects of isolation, and the constant pressure of parenting and being the sole career for my children. Ex is a total fuckwit and never spends any
Time with them ergo I never get a break.
I also have two NT children and the parents at their school have stared and sniggered, tutting, when I have been forced to bring one of my autistic sons with me for school run. The teachers at that school are lovely and often ask after my boys but the parents are nasty, apart from a few I know because they have autistic children themselves. It's a very lonely existence.

[EllenJanesthickerknickers]

It seems so utterly common on here that it makes me wonder if there are any families out there who still have no children with ASD at all.

Did you really mean this, OP, or was it supposed to be a joke? Because it’s not funny. This sort of comment is why you’ve managed to annoy a lot of people on here. Fine to have a discussion on why MN attracts parents with DC with SN, not fine to be so rude. You may not have meant to be so goady, but the tone of a lot of your posts is off.

[WatchingTheWheels85]

My son has asd and I'm pretty certain if I was a child now I would be diagnosed.

[Mumzoo]

EllenJanesthickerknickers
It seems so utterly common on here that it makes me wonder if there are any families out there who still have no children with ASD at all.

Did you really mean this, OP, or was it supposed to be a joke? Because it’s not funny. This sort of comment is why you’ve managed to annoy a lot of people on here. Fine to have a discussion on why MN attracts parents with DC with SN, not fine to be so rude. You may not have meant to be so goady, but the tone of a lot of your posts is off.

Yes, I really meant it, and no it's not a joke. It's an observation. As I've already said, I really don't understand how official statistics can give a figure of 1% of the population being autistic, yet clearly more than 1 in every hundred people we know has some form of autism (diagnosed or otherwise). I'm not sure how this is offensive to you, but if it truly is then I apologise.

[Sockwomble]

Those with 'severe' autism would have gone to special schools or no school at all. The others would have been the naughty child or the child that could just about hold it together in a school where you sat in rows facing the front and were expected to be silent.
I have a child with autism and he has 2 cousins with autism. I know of 3 children/ teenagers with autism ( and learning difficulties) within a 2 minute walk from my house. I probably wouldn't know about them if I didn't have a child with autism myself.

[Daftasabroom]

Please can we refer to iiit as autistic spectrum condition. It not necessarily a disorder, disability or dis anything.

[Mumzoo]

OK, so thanks to everyone who has replied. It is clear that Mumsnet is not representative of the general population, and that it has a higher than average percentage of families with autistic children due to the nature of the site (being supportive to such families, including my own). That's now very clear. The title of my post should have been "To ask if your child or children do not have ASD" as I think almost everyone who has responded does in fact have children with ASD. Anyhow, I didn't mean to offend anyone by asking this question. It was a genuine observation, having read many Mumsnet posts unrelated to autism yet mentioning children having it. It just seemed like an overwhelming majority on here, however I do also see that many people name change, which may seem to inflate the occurrences (though I have not been keeping track of names of people posting about their children!)
It is, however, a worrying trend, given that resources are stretched beyond their limits and getting a diagnosis is increasingly difficult.

[Ainba]

Yes, I really meant it, and no it's not a joke. It's an observation. As I've already said, I really don't understand how official statistics can give a figure of 1% of the population being autistic, yet clearly more than 1 in every hundred people we know has some form of autism
Opening with such hyperbole of "wonder if there are any families out there who still have no children with ASD at all" going to put people's backs up though as its so ridiculous.
When you say clearly more though, what are you basing this off, just frequent mn posts about asd?

[KoalasAteMyHomework]

It is a worrying trend

Sorry, I'm confused. What is a worrying trend?

[Mumzoo]

Daftasabroom
Please can we refer to iiit as autistic spectrum condition. It not necessarily a disorder, disability or dis anything.


In the sense of this discussion it is a disorder though. Otherwise why would we be fighting for a diagnosis and support? The NHS refers to it as a disorder. And the National Autistic Society says:

What is autism?
Autism is a lifelong developmental disability that affects how people perceive the world and interact with others.

[rainbowbash]

what 'trend'???

[Partridgeamongstthepigeons]

My DS has low functioning autism. As a teen in the 80s I knew two boys who today would be diagnosed with high functioning autism or Aspergers.

[Mumzoo]

KoalasAteMyHomework

Sorry, I'm confused. What is a worrying trend?

The numbers of children waiting for a diagnosis is increasing year on year, and given that resources are already stretched beyond their limits getting a diagnosis is increasingly difficult...and becoming impossible for some. We need support for our daughter before she starts secondary school and so far we have been chasing our tail, with CAMHS re-referring us back to SENCO and GP as their waiting list is too long!

[rainbowbash]

Please can we refer to iiit as autistic spectrum condition. It not necessarily a disorder, disability

that's minimising. My DC is low functioning and will need lifelong 24/7 care. will never be independent. She is severely disabled. Many with ASD are. Just that they don't have a voice unlike some of the HF subgroup.

[Mumzoo]

Statistical trend, not fashion trend!! OBVIOUSLY!

[PegLegAntoine]

I think it is actually increasing as well as being easier to diagnose. More high functioning autistic couples getting together and having kids.

Also it looks even more common on here because it’s so bloody stressful bringing up kids with SN (and having SN yourself - I often wonder if ASD is more common among mumsnetters too) that it’s natural to gravitate to online support.

[ThreeAnkleBiters]

Looking back there were a few kids in my year who might well now have been diagnosed with asd and would hopefully have support available. Then they were just left to struggle.

[ThreeAnkleBiters]

I also agree that it may be becoming more prevelant due to more high functioning people finding each other these days. Also people with asd themselves are more likely to seek online support so it appears more prevelant on mumsnet than would be reflected in the UK in general.

[Cheeeeislifenow]

Asd is not a worrying trend..your whole attitude reeks of ableism.